Long before billion-dollar soccer club Manchester United tickled the Glazer Boys fancy, and long before Malcolm Glazer was aroused by Jon Gruden and made a run at buying the Los Angeles Dodgers, there was an obsession among the Glazer clan.

His name was Bill Parcells.

The Tuna was the Glazers coach of choice when Tony Dungy was fired. And given the recent rumblings about Parcells leaving Miami,  Joe has to wonder whether there’s still a family fantasy about scoring the NFL’s traveling resurrectionist.

Yes, Parcells is currently the godfather of the Miami Dolphins, but he can bail with full pay at any time. And Joe’s friend Mike Florio at ProFootballTalk.com reports ESPN’s Chris Mortensen believes the Tuna will leave South Florida after the season.

So let Joe be the first to speculate that the Glazers might just be intrigued by another chance to nab their man.

If there is a glimmer of hope for Byron Leftwich not getting murdered this week, it is that Giants defensive end Justin Tuck may not suit up for Sunday’s game.

Tuck was hurt in the win over Dallass Sunday night. The injury, to his shoulder, is severe enough that Giants coach Tom Coughlin, who comes from the Bill Parcells/Bill Belicheat School of Open Records, admitted he was concerned over Tuck’s status this week reports Paul Schwartz of the New York Post.

Tuck was hurt in the second quarter of the thrilling 33-31 victory over the Cowboys when left tackle Flozell Adams, beaten on an inside rush by Tuck, decided the best way to protect quarterback Tony Romo was to stick out his leg and trip Tuck. Tuck went down and jammed his shoulder. He left the game and was wearing a sling on the sideline in the second half.

Tuck promised he’d play in Sunday’s game in Tampa but today he underwent tests to determine the extent of the injury. Coughlin had no update, just as he had no update on the status of WR Domenik Hixon, who went down in the first quarter with a sprained right knee.

“I really don’t have much,” Coughlin said. “They are going through all of the tests today and we will have to wait and see what the tests say to see where these guys are. I think a big factor will be Wednesday. When we do get the information, how do they feel on Wednesday?”

The Giants defensive front is so deep, that they likely wouldn’t miss Tuck. That means more bruises for Leftwich. Joe is gravely concerned for Leftwich’s safety.

The news just keeps getting worse for the Bucs when word was learned last night that Jermaine Phillips is out for the year with a broken thumb.

The Bucs, already razor-thin at safety, just got thinner with Phillips lost for the season.

But linebacker Geno Hayes has offered his services.

Speaking with the co-host of his weekly “Sports Journey” show heard weekly on WQYK-AM 1010, Tom Krasniki, Hayes offered his services at safety.

Joe caught up with Hayes after his show, broadcast live from Ferg’s in St. Petersburg, and got Hayes to elaborate.

Hayes, despite being one of the very few bright spots on the Bucs defense this season, is trying to be a good teammate and wants to help. He admitted to Joe that playing safety would be a learning experience.

“I’ve never played safety,” Hayes said. “Never, ever. But I think it would be an easy transition. I know what those guys are doing back there.”

Ironically, it was Phillips who the Bucs management tried to convert to linebacker before giving up the experiment and putting him back at safety.

Hayes admitted he has not been asked to play safety nor has anyone with the Bucs approached him about it. Yet.

Joe doesn’t believe this will happen. Hayes played well in the season-opener against Dallass and played lights out at Buffalo. Why weaken one of the few strengths on the defense to make it even more porous than it already is?

Joe always liked Geno. The fact he is offering to play a brand new position for the sole purpose of helping out his teammates makes Joe want to go out and buy Geno’s jersey.

Ouch!

Tampa Bay Lightning No. 1 goalie Mike Smith fell to the ice Tuesday after his manhood was clobbered by a teammate in a preseason game.

So why was this a laughing moment for Lightning fans? Find out now at JoeBoltsFan.com.

Joe has Lightning fans covered every day. 

This is already shaping up to be the season from hell and it’s not even the end of September yet.

Jermaine Phillips is done for the season. Broken thumb. So reports eye-RAH! Kaufman of the Tampa Tribune.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers placed Jermaine Phillips on injured reserve Tuesday, ending his season two days after the veteran safety fractured his left thumb at Buffalo.

Phillips is now out for the remainder of the year, further depleting a defensive secondary still coping with the four-game suspension of free safety Tanard Jackson.

Oh, and the Bucs released safety Steve Cargile, who they just resigned last week.

The way things are going for the Bucs, Joe should call Bucs general manager Mark Dominik. Joe played strong safety in high school. It’s been a while but the way the Bucs are going through safeties, Joe may have a prayer.

One of Joe's all-time favorites: Mrs. Michael Pittman.

If you’re looking for former Bucs Michael Pittman, Super Bowl MVP Dexter Jackson, Paris Warren, Patrick Chukwurah and IHOP-lover Anthony Davis, they’re all hanging out at the Citrus Bowl in Orlando.

That’s where the United Football League Florida Tuskers and New York Sentinels (Simeon Rice’s new team) are sweating their butts off at training camp. The new four-team league kicks off in October.

Pittman seems to be Florida’s biggest name. He was injured after a good start with the Broncos last season. Chucky’s brother Jay Gruden is the offensive coordinator, so says the Orlando Sentinel.

This is another great opportunity for me, so I’m going to make the most of it and have fun, [Pittman said].”

Pittman waited out his NFL opportunities this year, but the call never came. So he decided the waiting had to stop.

“I just really got tired of sitting around and waiting … waiting for an NFL team to call.,” Pittman said “I’ve been training, working out, but other than that I just got tired of sitting on the couch, really.”

It’s a bit removed from the practice fields of the NFL, but Pittman had a lot of friends around to ease his transition to the “minor leagues.”

Football is football. And where there are former Buccaneers, Joe will keep a close watch.

This also gives Joe a reason to post pictures of the lovely Mrs. Michael Pittman. Always a good thing.

By Harry King

My two cents… I can understand Bucs fans feeling disgusted and sick to their stomachs. I’m sure they feel the same way I felt when Marlon Brando kissed me on the lips. … That defense is so ugly, it reminded me of Phyllis Diller. … I read on JoeBucsFan.com where some fans are questioning Raheem the Dream for calling out Gaines Adams. Trust me, they never heard of Leo Durocher.

Why is it the Bucs have never asked Nancy Sinatra to sing the national anthem? She’s a chip off the old block and was a great guest. … Speaking of music, my grandkids, now all graduated from college, talk about this Edward Van Halen from The Van Halen Band. I’ve heard him. Let me tell you, he’s no Charo.

Sharing a chicken dinner at Roscoe’s the other night with Don Rickles. Even he laughs at the Bucs pass defense. Now that’s a funny guy. … It seems terrorists are now targeting stadiums where there is “immorality, and sin.” I thought the Mutiny left Tampa? Boy, these guys are sure lucky they never had to deal with my buddy Al Haig.

The way Gaines Adams plays, I think of Reggie Rogers. … The Bucs defense is so soft, it could pass for the meat loaf at Duke Ziebert’s. Those were the days! … The Bucs defense is giving up so many yards, my old Washington insider pal David Stockman is blushing.

Byron Leftwich is throwing so many passes, he’s going to get a sore arm like my good friend Sandy Koufax. We grew up together in Brooklyn, you know? … Speaking of growing up, I bet Josh Freeman wishes he was back in Kansas after watching the Bucs offensive line get manhandled at Buffalo. It reminded me of a story George Patton IV told me about the Germans during his father’s march through France.

All around good guy, Rick Brown, aka Backwards Hat, of the Lakeland Ledger, breaks out the grim details of just how rotten the Bucs defense is.

Folks, it’s not pretty.

This Bucs defense, if it doesn’t improve (and mounting injuries suggest it may be awhile), it may be so scary that Lightning owner and horror movie baron Oren Koules could produce a flick about it.

Romo threw for 353 yards and the Cowboys had 462 total yards against Tampa Bay.

After talking all week about how that performance was an aberration, the Bucs came back with a defensive performance that was just as smelly.

On Sunday, Fred Jackson ran for a career-best 163 yards as the Buffalo Bills racked up 438 yards and 33 points.

For the non-math majors, that’s two games where the Bucs have given up a total of 900 yards and 67 points. That’s 450 yards and 33.5 points per game folks.

And we’re not talking about Peyton Manning and Adrian Peterson the Bucs are going up against.

Yeah. Derrick Brooks couldn’t play for this sorry bunch. Rrrrriiiigggghhhhtttt.

People wonder why Joe rags on BSPN night and day. There are so many examples as to why, Joe doesn’t know where to begin. But the following video is a good start.

Remember last week when Joe brought you the “Football Scientist” as an example of someone that absolutely does no homework? Well he’s back with another gem: About how wide receiver Antonio Bryant will fare against the Giants.

Um, Bryant’s status is, at best, uncertain. Idiot.

This geek also quotes Chris Berman — CHRIS BERMAN!!! — saying, “once is an accident, twice is a trend, three times is a fact.”

Well, one more idiotic video from “The Football Geek” and Joe will proclaim this guy is as much an imbecile as that douchebag in the afternoon on local sports radio who can’t pull an 0.1 rating.

Anyone who quotes Chris Berman should be locked in a cage. Anyone who does zero research like this assclown really should go back to stocking shelves at the local CVS.

And get a freaking haircut!

Fox announcers Kenny Albert and Daryl Johnston take a look back at the Bucs ugly loss to the Bills Sunday. Johnston is blunt about the Bucs: He expects the Bucs to go at least 0-5 to start the season.

Folks, unless something drastic happens, and Joe cannot fathom what that might be, it’s going to get very, very ugly.

Tampa Tribune columnist Martin Fennelly is not in the Gaines Adams Fan Club.

Martin Fennelly has witnessed the Bucs play two games and already he is firing away, claiming this year’s edition of the Bucs smells of Richard Williamson.

The Tampa Tribune columnist also goes after Gaines Adams, who is starting to become what Kenyatta Walker was: the target for all Bucs fans to unload their venom. Sadly, like Walker, Adams is giving fans and the press alike ample ammunition by his (lack of) play.

The season is two games old and already it has a stench to it, the kind you get when a team isn’t ready for prime time, when it has heart, but no head, when it has Leeman Bennett or Richard Williamson coaching it.

These Bucs can’t stop the run. They can’t stop the big passing play. Is there anything more painful than giving up Terrell Owens’ first touchdown in a new T.O. city?

Yes, there is.

It’s mistakes like those 13 penalties for 112 yards.

Joe’s going to take a stab and suggest the Bucs first win comes at Washington on Oct. 4. Look, if the Redskins struggle to score a touchdown against a putrid team like the Lambs, the Bucs have a prayer.

And before the trash at FedEx Field is hauled away, Redskins coach Jim Zorn will be fired.

Many pundits, Joe among them, crowed about the virtues of the Bucs’ offensive line before the season began. But suddenly that line looks more, well, offensive than impressive.

Maybe it began when Arron Sears decided to play hide-and-seek in Alabama. And no, when someone is paid seven-figures indirectly by fans in a stadium largely funded by taxpayers, privacy is out the window. Fans (and taxpayers) have every right to know why this guy is AWOL as much as fans are informed of Antonio Bryant’s bum knee or Jermaine Phillips’ broken thumb.

People who clutch privacy so dearly shouldn’t work in a high-profile industry for the public, sorry. Playing in the NFL is a privilege, not a right. Want to be filthy rich? Cool, but there are a few catches. This is one of them. 

Maybe it was the change to zone blocking? But now, without Arron the not-so-friendly ghost, without an injured Jeff Faine and trying to play in a different scheme, the Bucs’ offensive line has turned into a sieve.

They couldn’t get a push off the line Sunday to enable the Bucs corral of running backs room to run. They couldn’t keep defenders from pounding quarterback Byron Leftwich, who also got beat up in the opening game with Dallass.

Leftwich isn’t exactly young. And he isn’t exactly mobile. Just how long can he keep getting punished before he falls in injury? And does the Bucs hierarchy really want to get Josh Freeman physically abused like Leftwich?

The kid will get shell-shocked if he has to put up with the same abuse as Leftwich has the first two weeks.

The secondary is alarming. The lack of a defense is stunning. But the way the Bucs strongest unit, the offensive line, has collapsed is shocking to Joe, and it frightens him to think that Freeman just might have to get beat up like Leftwich.

If the Bucs don’t straighten out its offensive line, and quickly, the porous defense will be the least of their concerns.   

As Joe alluded to earlier, Raheem the Dream is beyond irritated at the pathetic play of his defense.

In particular, Raheem the Dream unloaded on the already embattled defensive end Gaines Adams, documented by Anwar Richardson of the Tampa Tribune.

Morris did not contain himself when discussing the play of defensive end Gaines Adams. A former first round pick, Adams has been a non-factor in two games. He has four tackles and no sacks. According to Morris, Adams is not playing as hard as he did last season.

“He’s judged on whether he touches the quarterback or not, and right now he’s not getting the productions as far as touching the quarterback,” Morris said. “The tackles, the sacks, he’s not getting (any) of that. He’s just not playing up to par right now. He’s holding himself accountable. We’ve got to hold him accountable and it’s tough right now.

“He’s not getting it done. There’s no excuses. There’s no explanations. Gaines is not getting it done right now.”

Joe posted in the comments of another post earlier it was his judgement that Adams, who was crucified by Bucs fans last year, is having an even worse season this year. The numbers back Joe up.

Against Dallass, Adams was invisible. He had no tackles, no assists, no sacks, no interceptions, nothing. Sunday against Buffalo, the fourth overall pick in the 2007 draft had a grand total of three tackles, one assist, no sacks.

Oh, but he had a memorable bonehead play where he got suckered in on a reverse where if he just stayed home like he should have the reverse wouldn’t have gone anywhere.

But Joe assumes Adams would have made the tackle had he stayed home.

Joe should never assume.

The bad news keeps flowing.

Now Antonio Bryant, the Bucs $10 million deep threat, and the only Bucs receiver opponents remotely fear, has told Stephen Holder, of the St. Pete Times that he’s got a bone bruise and can’t play.

“But I can’t even run out there. I can’t go full speed.”

This kind of talk almost has Joe longing for the days of Chucky, when players and coaches engaged in serious gamemanship when it came to who might suit up on Sunday and what they were capable of.

Joe suspects somebody at One Buc Place might advise Bryant to please not tell the opponent he can’t run full speed.

Unless, of course, Bryant’s comments are all a setup. But Joe highly doubts that there’s that much savvy at play right now under Raheem The Dream.

Joe gives Raheem The Dream credit for not spinning at his Monday news conference at One Buc Palace.

Asked how the Bucs can keep their defensive woes from getting out hand, Raheem The Dream replied, “It’s already out of hand.”

The head coach also called out the defensive line for not being up to the challenge he issued to them prior to the Bills game, and he pointed a finger of blame directly at Gaines Adams. The Dream acknowledged, as Joe wrote earlier, that the Bills’ offensive line was practically comprised of three rookies for much of the game.

Raheem The Dream went on to explain his team’s confidence level is extremely high.

Joe supposes the undefeated Giants are riding a confidence high of their own coming into Sunday’s Bucs-Giants game in Tampa.

Joe is monitoring the Raheem The Dream’s live Monday news conference. And the opening news is grim.

Linebacker/Strong Safety Jermaine Phillips broke his thumb against Buffalo and there is no word yet how much time he’ll miss.

This would be a huge loss, if there is such a thing as poorly as the Bucs secondary has played. The signing of safety Steve Cargile on Sunday seems to have been good timing.

The Mad Twitterer, Rick Stroud, of the St. Pete Times, is reporting Phillips could be out up to eight weeks and possibly end up on injured reserve, which Joe highly doubts.

By JEFF CARLSON
JoeBucsFan.com analyst

Former Bucs quarterback Jeff Carlson writes the weekly QB Blast column here at JoeBucsFan.com. Joe is ecstatic to have him firing away. Carlson has TV gigs in the Bay area and trains quarterbacks of all ages via his company, America’s Best Quarterback.

Efficiency and consistency.

To me these are ultimately responsible for success on and off the field. The Bucs sorely lack both.

They are individually talented enough to make splash plays in every game. They are also not consistent enough individually or as offensive or defensive units to expect sustained success for a 60-minute football game.

I’m not going to bang on Byron Leftwich much. He is what he is. But the coaching staff chose arguably the most inefficient QB in the game with zero NFL snaps of experience in his two backups.

So when your starter goes down to injury or ineffectiveness, your team is guaranteed to have inefficiency and inconsistency from either backup. Neither has seen much game action including preseason.

I didn’t mind Leftwich winning the QB battle, but when they traded Luke McCown away, it told us all that this season wasn’t about winning. It may be somewhere in the future, but it’s not for the here and now.

So buckle up Bucs fans. It’s going to be bumpy.

John Anik and Eric Allen break down the Bucs loss to the Bills. As one can imagine, the focus is on how great the Bills bounced back from a season-opening loss.

Joe wrote this last night and it seems others are asking the same question:

When will the Bucs win a game?

Joe Henderson of the Tampa Tribune even suggests the Bucs are so bad, they could match the Lions of last year with a winless season.

So this morning we look at the 0-2 record for the Bucs after Sunday’s 33-20 loss against Buffalo. The Bucs talked about mistakes they made because those are correctable, but I’m seeing a team that got physically beaten on both sides of the ball and that’s not something you can easily fix.

They committed a preposterous 13 penalties for 112 yards, gave up two more long scoring passes and saw the game get away in the fourth quarter. They’re a bad team.

Logic will tell us there is too much football remaining. There are 14 of what players like to call “opportunities” left on the schedule. Surely there is enough talent and drive on this team to get at least a handful of victories. But you tell me – off what we’ve seen so far, where will that victory come? They get two shots at Carolina, so maybe they can grab one there. Or maybe not.

Joe is thinking the Redskins are vulnerable as are the Panthers. Either way, this is going to be a brutal season. Henderson is right: You can’t fix getting beat up on both sides of the ball.

Joe has to wonder whether the rebuilding Bucs, if they continue to prove they are a below average football team, should look to trade 27-year-old Cadillac Williams immediately for a draft pick.

If Williams keeps playing hard and healthy, there might be a team in need of a back in midseason that would part with a fourth or fifth-round pick.

As painful as it sounds for the many, many fans of Cadillac, he is a free agent after this season. And it’s highly unlikely the Bucs would open their wallets to pay him assuming he has a good 2009, as the Bucs have Earnest Graham and Derrick Ward signed for 2010.

Given Cadillac’s age (for a running back) and injury history (especially for a running back), it might be a smart move to unload him while his value is high and his knees are in one piece. 

This is starting to get terrible and Joe is fearing it will get worse.

Joe has already detailed the absurd kvetching of the Bucs for passing on Minnesota Vikings star running back Adrian Peterson. Joe thought someone like former Bucs beat writer and current SI.com columnist Don Banks would know better.

Apparently not.

Banks takes each NFL team to task that passed on drafting Peterson in the 2007 draft. Naturally he calls out the Bucs.

4. Tampa Bay defensive end Gaines Adams — This is the slot where the pain of passing on Peterson really starts intensifying. In terms of top-five impact, Adams has been a disappointment, registering 12½ sacks, two interceptions and one touchdown in 25 career starts. The former Clemson star has not become a consistent pass rush threat as the Bucs have hoped, and Tampa Bay has played in and lost one postseason game since he arrived.

Stop it. Please, stop it!

There’s no way the Bucs were going to draft Peterson that year. Anyone who thinks otherwise really needs to do some modest research.