"Jeff, man, you know how this Favre dance goes by now. I love the guy, and I love you, too."

Expect the New York papers to ignite the rumor mill in a matter of days. It makes too much sense, right? Brett Favre is coming to Tampa Bay for the 2009 season.

Favre’s New York teammates are blasting him, reports ESPN.com, including 1300-yard rusher Thomas Jones. And the Jets have no coach; Eric Mangini, who named his infant son for Favre, was fired Monday.

Jon Gruden is probably begging Bruce Allen to pick up the phone and call the Jets to ask if Favre is available for a fifth-round pick. After all, Gruden loves quarterbacks, and Jeff Garcia’s a free agent. Heck, Chucky, seemed happy and ready to have both of them on the Bucs roster last summer.

Maybe the Bucs offer a conditional draft pick, much like the Jets did when they traded with Green Bay for Favre.

If Chucky stays on as coach, there’s every reason in the world to believe the Bucs will go after Favre — early and relentlessly — similar to how Gruden blames injuries for his teams’ struggles.

Monte Kiffin hired his new D-Line coach at the University of Tennessee only three days after the Bucs walked off the field in disgrace. Joe is sickened by the likelihood of Monte recruiting the guy while the Bucs' defense was imploding in December.

How did Monte Kiffin hire a hotly recruited defensive coach less than three days after the Bucs season-ending collapse without actively recruiting the guy during the Bucs season?

Circumstantial evidence is mounting that could reveal the ex-Bucs defensive coordinator was distracted during his final weeks with the Bucs, after announcing in early December he was leaving the team to coach at the University of Tennessee.

Local sports radio talking heads and print scribes have buzzed over the past week with speculation that the Bucs defense may have quit on Kiffin. For the record, Joe thinks that’s ridiculous. And Joe is far more troubled that the Bucs’ defense likely played its absolute best against the Raiders to send Kiffin off with a performance worthy of his stellar tenure in Tampa.

But Kiffin’s swift actions this week, along with his son Lane’s, the UT head coach, could lead one to believe that Monte Kiffin devoted time to Tennessee business while working for the Bucs.

On Wednesday, Lane Kiffin hired two NFL assistant coaches to join the UT staff: Ed Orgeron, the Saints’ defensive line coach, and Jim Chaney, the Rams’ tight end coach. The Knoxville News Sentinel reports that father and son Kiffin interviewed Orgeron on Wednesday and he committed that day. Many thought Orgeron was headed to Louisiana State University.

“I’m so excited,” Orgeron, 47, told ESPN. “I get to coach with Monte (Kiffin) and I’m getting to recruit again. It’s pedal to the metal, and I can’t wait to get up there.”

What is disturbing to Joe in this article is the description of how close Orgeron was to leaving for LSU, and how quickly he committed to Tennessee.

It’s difficult to believe Monte Kiffin wasn’t actively involved in recruiting Orgeron, his new D-line coach and UT’s recruiting coordinator. It’s also hard to imagine didn’t devote time to planning a staff with Lane Kiffin before the Bucs final game in Tampa, given how quickly Orgeron was hired. He was hired Wednesday morning, less than three days after the final whistle blew in Tampa.

“Lane and Monte took a jet to Destin,” Bobby Hebert, a former Saints quarterback and lifelong friend of Orgeron, told Gannett Louisiana. “They were all freaking out at Tennessee after they thought he was going to LSU, and they just stepped it up. I’m not sure what Ed will be making at Tennessee, but it will be more than he would’ve made at LSU.”

Orgeron, who coached with Lane Kiffin at Southern California from 2001-04, is expected to make $650,000 annually, making him one of the highest paid assistants in the country, according to ESPN. Orgeron was making approximately $500,000 with the Saints and LSU was offering around $600,000.

“Ed also favored working with Monte Kiffin over John Chavis,” Hebert told Gannett Louisiana.

Count Joe among the many fans sickened that the Bucs’ players’ performance in December slightly tarnished Monte Kiffin’s reputation. Joe is even more sickened by the thought that Kiffin may have been distracted by his new job and not given the Bucs 100 percent of his attention.

It seems that Monte Kiffin’s successor at defensive coordinator, 32-year-old Raheem Morris, will begin his Rooney Rule tour in Denver on Monday.

Rick Stroud, of the St. Petersburg Times broke the story today reporting the Broncos have asked permission to interview Morris for their head coaching job and he will meet with Denver owner Pat Bowlen on Monday. Longtime Broncos coach and general manager Mike Shanahan was fired this week. (Kudos to the Times, as the Denver newspapers have yet to report Morris will interview).

On Wednesday, The Rocky Mountain News reported Morris was among young coaches to watch, when it comes to longshot head coaching candidates.

Two NFL general managers who were asked Tuesday to name an up-and-coming defensive assistant who might be ready for a move up mentioned Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive backs coach Raheem Morris as someone that both had “on the radar.”

Morris is a respected young coach but has never held a coordinator position in the NFL. How he could be considered a legitimate head coaching candidate – let alone for a storied franchise like Denver – is hard to understand.

Even boy genius Jon Gruden, who was 34 when he was named Oakland Raiders coach, had been an offensive coordinator with the Eagles before landing his first head coaching job.

Joe believes Morris is a Rooney Rule candidate for Denver. The 5-year-old Rooney Rule requires NFL teams to interview minority candidates for a head coaching vacancy, with a few exceptions. Morris is African-American. Morris is a fabulous young coaching talent who, right now, is not qualified to be a head coach in the NFL.

Joe hates all of the race-based, equal opportunity hiring processes across the United States. It would be nice to one day live in a world in which people were judged solely by what they can offer.

Let’s all toss out a huge high-five to JoeBucsFan.com analyst Bob Fox.

Fox tracked the NFC playoff drive over the past two months and nailed playoff picks that were hardly popular.

Among the highlights, Fox wrote the Eagles would make the playoffs when most considered them left for dead following their tie with the Bengals. Fox also wrote the Vikings would lose at home in Week 16 to Atlanta yet bounce back to knock off the Giants in Week 17 and win the NFC North. 

Look for more playoff picks this weekend from Fox and the rest of the JoeBucsFan.com staff.

Joe would like to wish all JoeBucsFan.com readers a Happy New Year, and may the days, weeks and months to come bring health and prosperity to all.

Just because the Bucs season is over, Joe is NOT done for the year. Hardly!

Joe will have posts daily through the offseason. You can count on JoeBucsFan.com for loads of offseason news, commentary and analysis. Joe will break down the 2009 draft in detail, and Joe has  plans in the works to deliver draft coverage unmatched by local media.

Also, Joe will report on all the Super Bowl happenings in the Tampa Bay area leading up to the game.  

As JoeBucsFans.com readers have already noticed, JoeBoltsFan.com will debut later this month.

In the busy final month of 2008, Joe procrastinated on offering thanks to a number of people.

Joe appeared on various sports radio shows, including The Ron and Ian Show, on 620 AM, The Sports Animal, the Blitz with Justin Pawlowski, as well as the dean of Tampa sports radio, “The Big Dog,” Steve Duemig. Among other topics, Joe spoke on WDAE about the active civil law suit that involves former Bucs Anthony Davis and Michael Bennett. The case is pending and, of course, Joe will keep readers informed of the twists and turns of the case. No one else in the Tampa Bay MSM is.

Thanks Ron, Justin and Steve!

Additionally, Joe was on with J.P. Petersen and his producer “Big Papi,” Dave Ortiz during the “Happy Hour with J.P.” show heard on WQYK-AM 1010. Many thanks again to J.P. and Dave!

BSPN has an interesting piece on how Bucs running back Warrick Dunn recently confronted the murderers of his mother, who was killed when he was in high school.

One of the pieces of human debris actually had the unmitigated gall to say to Dunn’s face how he was innocent. The switch can’t be pulled quick enough on that dirtbag.

Joe has no shame in saying how animals like that do not deserve to be sucking our oxygen.

On Monday, Joe brought you the story, via Deadspin.com, of Raiderfan from New Jersey who claimed he did nothing wrong and was run from the CITS. So Raiderfan starts an e-mail campaign to clean his name. Problem was, he wouldn’t release his name.

So Raiderfan is on the offensive and he was exposed by the Tampa police, again, per Deadspin.com. Raiderfan tried to get an explanation from the Tampa Sports Authority but it didn’t work so well.

We are sorry that you did not have the experience that you expected to have here at Raymond James Stadium during the Raiders game. We seek to offer each fan a positive experience.

Your inquiry, however, cannot be addressed by our staff due to your ejection by the Tampa Police Department. The TPD records indicate that you were intoxicated and caused a disturbance by cussing and instigating fights, thus your questions must be directed to them, now. Please call *** at ********* and he will respond to your concerns”.

This reply didn’t please Raiderfan.

Like i said before though, I wasn’t drunk. I did have a couple beers outside of the stadium, but I wasn’t drinking inside the stadium. I was not breathalyzed or given a field sobriety test by the officers, so I’m not sure how they made that determination.

I’ll admit I probably cursed at some point in the first quarter and a half of the game. I wasn’t directing it at any fans, but I’m sure a “F*uck yeah!” as the Raiders forced another punt popped out at some point. I would have felt it was totally reasonable for someone from the Tampa Bay staff to pull me out my seat, and ask me to adjust my language.

BUSTED!

Joe was highly skeptical that a Raiderfan — from New Jersey no less! — would be the model of good manners where there was beer involved. Joe knows how that “couple of beers outside the stadium” works all too well. Joe’s had “a couple of beers” (more like eight) before a game and then sobered up during the game while he sweated out the alcohol in the searing Florida sun.

Besides, if $8 beers won’t sober you up, Joe isn’t sure what will. Joe has nothing personal against the Glazer Boys but $8 a beer… well, even Joe has standards.

Deadspin also posted a photo of Raiderfan in question. He may not have any taste in NFL teams or beer (Natty Light, really???) but it appears he has good taste in women. Joe is impressed.

It pains Backwards Hat, also known as Rick Brown of the Lakeland Ledger, to call his video report this week a “final report.” Alas, it is.

Final for the season.

So Backwards Hat — who isn’t wearing a hat or cap of any sort this week — takes a look at changes the Bucs may make and areas of the team that need to be addressed.

The good people of Buccaneers.com have a really neat tribute to departing defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin. Roger Goodell isn’t being such a good person by being greedy and not providing embed codes.

The Kiffin feature is really something to see. Nice work. Also, Buccaneers.com not only has Kiffin’s farewell press conference in its entirety, but also Chucky’s end of the season meeting with the pen and mic club.

Additionally, Scott Smith of Buccaneers Report has a dismal recap of the Bucs final game of the season Sunday.

One of the few good things about the 1976 Bucs was future Hall of Fame defensive end Lee Roy Selmon. He fires up some tasty ribs, too.

When the Detroit Lions lost to the Packers Sunday, it cemented the team as the worst in NFL history, in Joe’s eyes, surpassing forever the winless 1976 Bucs (0-14).

But USA Today is not quite as sure. It is running a poll asking what team was the worst in NFL history, And the story compares the ’76 Bucs and the ’08 Lions, the first team to lose 16 games in a season.

The story graphic compares the worst loss of the teams’ season, family connections on the clubs and “brushes with victory.”

Joe is still of the mind the Lions were worse, not because they lost 16 games but because the 1976 Bucs were an expansion team in the days before free agency. Back then, an expansion team had only its drafted players from the prior spring and other teams’ castoffs.

The Lions had several former first- and second-round picks on the team, alongside hand-picked free agents.

Why did Monte Kiffin say a lot of people want him on the first bus to Tennessee?

Joe isn’t quite sure what to make of a quote by recently departed Bucs defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin.

Kiffin talked to many media outlets following Sunday’s horrific loss to the Raiders, the culmination of the Bucs’ four-week defensive collapse. In what was either a self-deprecating moment, a cocky statement about how much University of Tennessee fans want him, or a revelation of some hidden turmoil between Monte and Jon Gruden and/or others, Kiffin told the Knoxville News Sentinel he is certain that a lot of people want to see him leave Tampa immediately.

“The hardest thing right now is you can’t come back with these players,” Kiffin said. “We’ve always fixed it. I just want to go back and start again – these last four weeks. But you can’t do that.

“You have to move on. That’s life. All I can say is I’ll always love the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I’m sure there’s a lot of people that are wishing that Kiff takes the first bus to Tennessee.”

Without knowing Monte’s personality, it’s hard to speculate why he would say people want him to take the first bus out of town. It’s a little bizarre. Perhaps there’s more to Monte leaving than what appears.

Apparently, Vacation Man, of BSPN fame, thinks he is speaking to people who walk around with white canes. In a recent “Blogger’s Blitz” on BSPNews, he is asked what happened to the Bucs. His reply?

“Their defense collapsed.”

You don’t say?

Vacation Man begins talking Bucs at about the 2:30 mark.

The fingers are still being pointed from all corners at the Bucs. Chucky, Bruce Almighty, the Glazer Boys, the defensive line, you name it.

Count Joe Henderson of the Tampa Tribune among the many (including your favorite Joe). Henderson seems to be of the opinion that the entire team — with few exceptions — from Bruce Almighty all the way down to running backs need to get the heave-ho.

Maybe fans are just tired of the double-talk. Gruden was still at it Monday morning. He said he wants Jeff Garcia back next season. He wants Michael Clayton back. He sort of wants Joey Galloway to return. My goodness, man. Gruden can’t really be saying that, can he?

You don’t bring Garcia back. You don’t bring Clayton back. You don’t bring Galloway back. Galloway wasn’t even here when he was here. Use your eyes and see this team for what it is, because that’s what fans are doing. There are maybe a couple of areas on this team that don’t need a total makeover.

The offensive line and defensive secondary look fine. The kicker, punter and return man are fine, too. But do you trust the quarterback? Running backs? Receivers?

Joe will have much more on what he thinks the Bucs will do and where the Bucs need to upgrade in the coming days and weeks. But it’s pretty obvious the two areas where the Bucs need help are the defensive tackle positions and quite possibly an entire housecleaning of the offense save for the line and Antonio Bryant; not unlike what Chucky did when he took over for Father Dungy.

Joey Galloway said he plans on much more end zone flexing in the future

The White Tiger is 37 but says he still has plenty of kitten left in him.

Speaking Monday night on The Joey Galloway Show, on 620 AM, The Sports Animal, Galloway told co-host Steve Duemig he is eager to play several more years in the NFL.

Galloway said this offseason will be unique for him as he will enter it 100 percent healthy. Known for his rigorous training regimen, Galloway said he will work at his usual pace and can’t wait for the start of training camp with the Bucs or possibly another team.

The Bucs have Galloway under contract for 2009, and Joe is certain the Bucs will hold onto him, or possibly trade him in August if a good deal arises.

First, Bruce Almighty and Chucky are thin at receiver and they won’t want Galloway to catch on with a conference rival. Also, Chucky is very likely to fall in love again with a healthy Galloway in the spring and try to pretend Galloway’s time in the doghouse this season is ancient history.

You can almost hear Gruden after a 2009 minicamp session, “I love Joey Galloway. He’s a big part of what we do here.”

Your Bucs flunked Chucky.

Bucs fans aren’t the only ones who think the Pewter Pirates stunk up the joint royally this weekend. So too does Ross Tucker of SI.com. Tucker, a former NFL player, now has a regular column for SI.com. And he gives the Bucs a great big fat “F” for their performance Sunday.

Losing four in a row was bad enough, but the manner in which they lost is especially troubling. A prideful defensive unit built on veterans like Ronde Barber and Derrick Brooks came unglued over the last month of the season. Teams seemed to run at will against a Bucs squad that never recovered from a Monday Night drubbing at the hands of the Carolina Panthers. Even after that debacle, the thought of the Bucs losing three in a row, including the last two at home to San Diego and Oakland, was hard to fathom.

Joe’s only problem with Tucker’s analysis is he later plays lazy journalist and tries to blame Monte Kiffin’s departure as the reason for the tank job.

Come on Tucker, you get paid big bucks working for SI.com. Take five minutes of your time and do a little research, will ya?

Last week, Chucky told the Oakland media rookie QB Josh Johnson is the Bucs’ secret weapon. Today he didn’t mention him when asked about developing young quarterbacks.

Chucky seems to have forgotten about the young guy being molded in his quarterback laboratory.

At his Monday news conference, Coach Gruden was hit with a question about his love for veteran quarterbacks and his apparent inability to develop a quality young quarterback.

Chucky said he never really had a rookie quarterback who was a blue-chip prospect. He explained that in Oakland veteran Rich Gannon was given to him, and how Brad Johnson was waiting for him Tampa. Also, he went on to say that he did some good things developing Chris Simms (a third-round pick).

Oddly, during Chucky’s entire response, he never once mentioned Josh Johnson, the Bucs’ fourth-string quarterback (a 2008 fifth-round pick).

But just five days ago, Chucky told the Oakland media how great Johnson can be.

“He’s our secret weapon. He’s in our laboratory and I don’t know if they’re going to give me enough time to develop him, but I’ve got a lot of confidence in what this guy can be. He is a very good athlete. A great kid. Football-smart, man. Players love him. I just think a year from now, he goes to training camp, he’ll show you and a lot of people that he belongs in the league and he can become an NFL quarterback.

Joe finds it very fishy that Chucky failed to mention Johnson today. How could he fail to mention the “secret weapon” in the “laboratory.”

THE PESSIMIST has found a rare photo of Michael Clayton in possession of the football. This image happens slightly more often than an appearance of the Comet Kohoutek.

Much was made of wide receiver Michael Clayton’s first touchdown reception of 2008 yesterday — first of the season… in the last game of the season. But THE PESSIMIST was beyond shocked to learn, thanks to Stephen Holder of the St. Petersburg Times, the touchdown was only Clayton’s second touchdown in four seasons.

For catching one touchdown pass this season, Hands of Stone Clayton pocketed a cool figure of $2,055,280 if the USA Today NFL player salary datebase is to be trusted.

Of course, Clayton continued his whining that he began last week about not being utilized properly.

“I’ve never doubted my ability to get in the end zone. I’ve always been a guy to play my hardest, and I try to take advantage of that opportunity. Today, I was given that opportunity.”

Hey Mike, how was that “opportunity” you had to convert a critical fourth down play from the Raiders-33 midway through the fourth quarter? You know, the one where you had both hands on the ball? Oh, that’s right, you dropped it! I guess it’s a good thing you have selective amnesia, huh?

THE PESSIMIST agrees with Joe: One can find all sorts of bouncers and truck drivers who can block and run good routes. But a wide receiver also has to be able catch the ball once in a blue moon.

THE PESSIMIST has noticed that Ike Hilliard doesn’t get a whole lot of opportunities yet he’s able to haul the damned ball in. Antonio Bryant missed a year of football and started the season as a reserve yet he was able to catch the damned ball.

THE PESSIMIST was a big supporter of Clayton when he was drafted by the Bucs when 99 percent of Bucs fans were screaming bloody murder. Sadly, his detractors were quickly proven to be correct.

Don’t let the door at One Buc Palace hit you in the rear end on your way out, Clayton. Unless, of course, you play for the league minimum. Guys who average two touchdowns every four years shouldn’t be pulling in seven figures a year.

Players who pull millions to catch two touchdowns in four years generally move on to pulling money away from senile senior citizens in aluminum siding telemarketing scams.

If Jon Gruden returns as Bucs coach, expect Jeff (and Carmella) Garcia to sign a new two-year contract with the Bucs

As expected, Chucky was peppered at his Monday morning press conference with questions about Jeff Garcia’s future in Tampa Bay. Amazingly, Gruden was hit with more questions about Garcia’s ’09 plans than his own.

Gruden’s response was quick and confident, “We want Jeff back,” Gruden said. “Jeff’ll have an opportunity to come back, I’m sure.”

Subsequently, Chucky was asked  – in a roundabout way – whether Garcia would be his starting quarterback for next season, and Gruden dodged the questions by talking about Garcia’s greatness and said he would be looking for the best available players for the Bucs. (Translation: Garcia is his QB, until another savvy veteran hits the market, if at all.)

Following Sunday’s Raiders-Bucs game, Garcia told the Buccaneers Radio Network that he wanted to return to Tampa Bay. Now, Gruden is saying, “We want Jeff back.”

Joe believes Garcia definitely will sign another contract with the Bucs, if Gruden remains at head coach.

Garcia is smart enough to know his next contract is his final payday. And, frankly, his options to become a starting quarterback on a new team are very few, if any. He’ll be 39 years old in February, and he’s no Brett Favre.

David Whitley of the Orlando Sentinel makes a strong case for Chucky to be collecting a paycheck elsewhere next season.

To this day, Joe mourns the fact David Whitley left the Tampa Tribune for the Orlando Sentinel. Whitley is an absolute dynamite writer but Joe still can’t understand what Orlando has over Tampa other than nightmarish traffic.

There’s no NFL, no MLB, no NHL. Yeah, there’s the NBA, which begs the question: What was Whitley smoking?

Anyway, thanks to Al Gore’s invention, one with a modem living in virtually any corner of the globe can read anyone’s copy.

Whitley absolutely takes apart Chucky and makes the strongest case (yet) Joe has read for showing Chucky the exit door.

As owners, the Glazers have to be questioning if this Chucky thing deserves another sequel. The Bucs have gone 7-9, 5-11, 11-5, 4-12, 9-7 and 9-7 since winning the Super Bowl.

And this year’s 9-7 feels more like 9-70 after Sunday. Every year it’s a patchwork offense and Kiffin’s defense.

Now Kiffin is gone, though the way the defense played recently that might not be a bad thing. Gruden will again be holding mass auditions at quarterback. Who knows if it’ll be Donovan McNabb or Kurt Warner or Brett Favre’s tractor mechanic taking snaps in ’09?

With Gruden’s offense, the only consistent thing has been a lack of consistency. Even if they think the bailing wire will work next season, the Glazers must consider how the Bucs have always staggered home.

It will be interesting to see how the Glazer Boys handle this. But it’s starting to get to Joe that he’s starting to read (again from various reporters including Whitley’s recent piece) what an absolute football genius this Father Dungy was and… wwwwhhhaaaa! He was fired! Wwwwhhhhaaaa!

It’s becoming obvious that many MSMers still haven’t gotten over the fact Father Dungy was fired, some seven years after the fact.

Newsflash: Father Dungy failed to win the big ones here. At least Chucky was able to win a Super Bowl. Whether Chucky gets fired or not, the Bucs struggles lately under Chucky do not, nor should not, disguise the fact Father Dungy was a failure here and if he didn’t have a built-in Hall of Fame quarterback and receiver along with a highly intelligent offensive coordinator in Indianapolis, the lone piece of bling Father Dungy would still have on his hands would be his wedding ring.

Yes, Father Dungy was fired for lesser offenses than Chucky. But Father Dungy still hasn’t cured cancer.

Justin Pawlowski, host of the highly intelligent “The Blitz” aired on Saturdays from noon-3 p.m. on WDAE 620-AM, has a new column up on his webpage where he pulls no punches.

Just like a high school football coach who grossly overuses the cliche “total team effort” (as if third string kids sitting on the bench who never step on the field made a significant play during a game), Pawlowski considers the Bucs historic franchise tank job a total team effort.

Pawlowski points a finger at just about everyone from the Glazer Boys all the way down to the players. And he suggests if the Glazer Boys can Chucky, then there needs to be a complete house-cleaning.

As for Gruden, if you do fire him, I think it might be time for everyone to follow him. Just start from scratch. When you start, get a head coach who will be a head coach. This bullsh** that the head coach can’t touch the defense is stupid. He’s the F***ing head coach!!! He is responsible for the ENTIRE team. If you fire Gruden, you MUST bring in a leader who will be a head coach and not a glorified coordinator with added responsibilities. He can then bring in his own coordinators and assistants.

Joe doesn’t disagree with Justin. There isn’t one person to blame, but a whole lot of blame to go around. It takes more than one or two players for a team to choke its last four games resulting in missing the playoffs.

THE PESSIMIST has had it with people blaming Monte Kiffin for the Bucs December tank job.

THE PESSIMIST has had his morning coffee. Combined with Chucky’s month-long tank job, THE PESSIMIST is ready to rock.

Fasten your seatbelts.

The next time THE PESSIMIST hears some parrot walk up to him squawking about how the defense quit because the defensive coordinator (Kiffin) quit, THE PESSIMIST is going to take a baseball bat to him.

Or lock him in a closet and force him to listen to a non-stop loop of those overaged, unemployed yenta chicken wing waitresses that pollute the local airwaves. Shame on Les Moonves!

To those who regurgitate this nonsense about how the defense laid down because Monte Kiffin left for Tennessee need to clam up because each time they open their mouths they prove their ignorance of football, or are too lazy to do the simplest research that even a moron like the former self-admitted steroid abuser could do.

If this premise is to be believed, that Kiffin is the root cause of the defense falling apart in December, then someone, anyone, feel free to explain to THE PESSIMIST why the defense coughed up 384 yards to the putrid Chiefs the first week of November? The Chiefs!

Or explain how about the vaunted Bucs defense spotted the NFL record-setting, historic worst team, the Lions, 10 points in the first quarter? The Lions of all teams! Detroit’s rookie running back Kevin Smith had 86 yards rushing in a game where the Kittens had to pass to catch up in the second half.

Sound familiar?

What, did Lions offensive coordinator Jim Colletto suddenly go from abject moron to Bill Walsh? Colletto is such a miserable offensive mind — keyword: offensive — that he had one of the worst offenses in recent Big Ten history when he coached Purdue. Can you imagine?

Yet so many empty heads throughout the country much less locally are jumping up and down that Kiffin has Pearl Harbored the Bucs.

Indeed!

So the Bucs losing their starting defensive tackles against Carolina, replaced by a couple of Chiefs castoffs (repeat that phrase a couple of times for it to sink in) had nothing to do with the defensive collapse? So Derrick Brooks playing with more injuries than THE PESSIMIST can count on one hand had nothing to do with the defensive collapse? So starting safety Jermaine Phillips being lost for the season with a broken arm had nothing to do with the defensive collapse? So (over the hill?) Ronde Barber getting burned more than microwave popcorn wasn’t a problem?

Please!

So then explain to THE PESSIMIST, anyone, how the Bucs defense had solid outings after Joe reported in mid-October Kiffin was sniffing around for a possible college job? Anyone? Bueller?

The next time someone tells THE PESSIMIST to his face that Kiffin is the reason the Bucs aren’t in the playoffs, you may read about THE PESSIMIST in tomorrow morning’s 19th-Century version of news delivery.

Then again, maybe the fishwraps are no longer in the business of reporting (alleged) assaults?

Sure, Joe is digusted with Sunday’s loss. Absolutely disgusted. But that doesn’t mean Joe isn’t looking ahead to next season, even though Joe doesn’t know who the quarterback or even the head coach will be.

So, courtesy of TBO.com, here are the Bucs opponents for the 2009 season.

Road games- Atlanta, Carolina, New Orleans, Philadelphia, Washington, Buffalo, Miami and Seattle. Home games – Atlanta, Carolina, New Orleans, Dallass, New York Giants, New York Jets, New England (in London), Green Bay.

It’s a brutal schedule, but one that will make the Glazers happy because of its high profile home games. With non-division home games against four extremely popular teams – Dallas, both New York clubs and Green Bay – that represents at least four sellouts regardless of the Bucs’ record.