If the St. Louis Lambs get past Troy Smith and the 49ers at home in a 1 o’clock game Sunday, that means the Seahawks will have absolutely nothing to play for against the Bucs.

NOTHING!

When Seattle lines up on the field in Tampa, they’ll know their fate. With a St. Louis win, no matter what happens against the Bucs, the Seahawks and Rams will play for the NFC West title the following week in Seattle.

This could become beautiful news for the Bucs.

Yeah, Joe knows all these NFL players are all professionals allegedly playing their hearts out, but you can’t tell Joe that a crappy team like the Seahawks playing a meaningless game on the road the day after Christmas 4,000 miles from home is going to give its all.  

That ain’t happening no matter how hard Seahawks coach Pete Carroll tried to spin it to the Seattle Times.

Q: It would be human nature wouldn’t it, to have a let down?

Carroll: “That’s why you ask those questions. Yeah. That’s why you ask that. That’s what everybody thinks. We don’t want to be normal in that regard. We don’t want to be human nature. We want to be above and beyond, and that’s part of it. That’s how you separate. When you are able to do that, you are able to take the variables, the factor, the media, the hype, the buildup, the matchups, all of that stuff, and leave that aside and play the game that you’re capable of playing, that’s the challenge. And that’s one of the great challenges that I’ve come to really covet and teaching and trying to stand for, and then once you get there, it’s a very special place to be. We’re not there yet. We’re learning. We’re learning how. But these next couple weeks will have a chance to kick us into the right position where you start to deal with what it’s like to be on top and what it’s like to be a champion. It’s exciting to me.”

Nice try, Pete. Not sure what the hell you just said, but Joe’s hoping your team is as clear thinking as you are.

Joe hopes Josh Freeman gets to try and execute a fake spike on the Seahawks at the close of the first half. That would surely re-ignite Carroll’s post traumatic stress disorder.

There’s no doubt feet-obsessed Jets head coach Rex Ryan wishes he never bought a video camera and preferred more mainstream erotica.

The blitz he’s getting — and will get — from the New York media is 10 times as nasty as what Josh Freeman saw from the Jets last year.

Freeman recovered. But Joe doubts Ryan will. Although if cross-dressing biter Marv Albert could emerge unscathed, than anything is possible. 

Joe couldn’t care less about the Jets, but Ryan’s foot fetish escapades made their way into Raheem Morris’ news conference today. Veteran Tampa Tribune NFL scribe eye-RAH! Kaufman was determined to give Raheem ample opportunity to open up about any sexual fixations he might have.

eye-RAH! Kaufman: Raheem, the New York papers are having a field day with Rex Ryan, you got any fetishes you want to own up to?

Raheem Morris: I can’t talk about my guy, man. My guy, that’s his own personal business. And I know he chose to put it out there publicly, but Rex is a great football coach and he’ll continue to be that way.

eye-RAH! Kaufman: What do you got?

Raheem: (Chuckling) What’s wrong with you, Ira?

 So there you have it. Raheem didn’t confirm or deny any fetishes. Joe will keep an eye on this developing story.

Yes, Joe goes 24/7 on the Rays and the Bucs. Some call it RaysIndex.com. Some call it JoeRaysFan.com.

Joe just calls it a daily must-read for all Rays fans. Join today’s chatter on a breakdown of the Rays roster for 2011.

THE PESSIMIST is a diehard Bucs fan whose negative writings appear occasionally on JoeBucsFan.com. His views surely do not necessarily reflect those of Joe. However, Joe sure gets a kick out of them.

By THE PESSIMIST’s count, the Bucs will have a prayer for the playoffs by this time next week if they can beat the crappy Seahawks on Sunday and the Saints lose to the Falcons on Monday night in Atlanta.

That’s supposed to be exciting. That’s supposed to have the town on the edge of its seat. That’s supposed to have men turning down the spirit of giving from their wives just to go to the game. That’s why we’re all fans and deal with the Bucs’ shenanigans — to get in the playoffs and have a shot at the Super Bowl. Even THE PESSIMIST wants victory every day.

So this is why THE PESSMIST is furious at all the fans he hears on sports radio and around the water cooler, and those spouting off in comments sections and message boards, flapping about next season already.

Some even say there’s no point to the Bucs making the playoffs because they’ll get crushed. “We’ve accomplished so much this year already. No good will come of a first-round playoff beating.” 

Yeah, keep watching BayNews 9 and fixing your makeup.

THE PESSIMIST is sure that only in this retard,  wussy, we-have-blackouts-with-a-winning-record town would such a thing go on. Even the media is asking Raheem questions about next year when they should be focused on what real fans care about.

Next year? The freaking owners are committed to this lockout garbage, which while it might not kill the season, it’s got a great shot of eliminating OTAs and minicamps and cutting short training camp. With all the Bucs rookies and young guys, this team could be screwed next year without all that offseason structure and training.

Forgetting about that, wait-til-next-year doesn’t fly in the NFL unless a team sucks. (And the Bucs don’t suck. Not yet anyway with an 8-6 record and a shot at the dream.)

Ronde Barber could retire in March. Aqib Talib could punch a meter maid in April. Josh Freeman could really break his thumb in the preseason, not whatever the hell he did last time. Barret Ruud’s replacement could be worse than he is. The Bucs may run out of miracles on the offensive line. …There’s no guarantee.

This is it. The Bucs are right on the cusp after Christmas and they’re being written off by their own fans. Shame on you brainless idiots. You know who you are.

And where’s the official team pep rally for this weekend’s monster game? Where’s Gasparilla-killing Mayor Pam Iorio and the rest of the yentas running the city staging a huge “Go Bucs” event on Sunday morning? Show up at a park with a bullhorn. Do something!!

What about all those government types trying to bully the Glazers this week? Why didn’t they draft a motion to sign Julius Peppers? Go abolish hunger and homelessness, you timewasters.

Where’s the damn excitement? The 12th man at the stadium Sunday? What a joke. You’d struggle to find 12 dudes in a bar who care.

After eeking out a win in Washington, the unsung hero of the game was defensive end Michael Bennett, who moved inside to play tackle in the second half when the Bucs brought Skins running back Ryan Torain back to earth.

Torain had Jim Batsed the Bucs in the first half running for about 150 yards.

Raheem Morris praised Bennett’s versatility and effectiveness against Washington’s zone blocking scheme.

But Raheem also went on to say that was sort of a one-shot deal and Bennett would move back to defensive end while fresh off the practice squad Frank Okam would emerge to play against Detroit on Sunday.

Detroit ran the ball well, the Bucs lost, and the rest is history.

Speaking on 1040 AM today, longtime Tampa Tribune beat writer Woody Cummings said Raheem “might have overthunk” himself and “is regretting” the decision on Bennett’s role against Detroit.  

Raheem has been second guessed all over the place after Sunday’s brutal loss. It’s Thursday already and it hasn’t stopped. Joe agrees that it wasn’t Raheem’s best game.

That written, it’s pretty amazing that a debate over using Bennett or Okam at defensive tackle as a key to a game is even happening. Nostradamus couldn’t have predicted that.

A media member tried to corner Raheem Morris into picking a Bucs Rookie of the Year yesterday during the head coach’s news conference. Of course, Raheem didn’t take the bait but his body language showed a little extra love for one of his newbies.

Raheem rattled off contributions of a majority of Bucs rookies, but when he got to Cody Grimm, he seemed to be taken back feeling a special kind of pride.

“Cody Grimm, you know, (smirk) He was looking like, you know, he was trying to make a Pro Bowl, rather than a guy just filling in for a starter,” Raheem said.

There have been many big losses on the Bucs roster this season, but perhaps Grimm has been the biggest.

The run defense, and a little bit of attitude, have evaporated in his absence.

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Joe is starting to understand where his good friend Justin Pawlowski of WDAE-AM 620 is coming from.

It seems the Bucs coaching staff, after realizing the error in their ways and hearing the outcry from fans about why LeGarrette Blount was on the bench in a crucial drive that ended in a field goal are now on the offensive in another matter.

The same coaches are now saying they are concerned about Blount fumbling the ball, so writes Woody Cummings of the Tampa Tribune.

Williams didn’t do much to secure a victory, though. He ran twice for a total of 3 yards, leaving the Bucs with a third-and-7 they failed to convert before settling for a field goal with 1:39 to play.

“There’s just no margin of error for that,” Bucs running back coach Steve Logan said in defense of the decision to turn to Williams, who has lost just one fumble in his past 394 carries.

“We really take pride in being a zero turnover team here. We’re a plus-nine in that area right now and that’s one of the reasons we’ve had the success we’ve had so far this year.”

As Cummings rightly points out, numbers show Blount is not a risk to fumble the ball. He’s only put the ball on the ground twice, once was when the ball was punched out of his hands from behind.

So there is no merit to the premise that Blount is a fumbling risk.

The gorgeous Jenny Dell returns for her weekly numerical gibberish on the Bucs in this BSPN video. Enjoy Jenny while you can, horndogs. She will grace Joe’s site just one more time until September, provided there is a 2011 season.

The Bucs are still in the playoff hunt. With a win Sunday and a New Orleans loss in Atlanta, the Bucs likely will control their playoff destiny.

If you can’t get to Sunday’s blacked out Bucs-Seahawks game, you can join other Bucs fans on The Blackout Tour to watch the game in HD-TV at Lee Roy Selmons in Fort Myers. It’s a fun time, and you get a free pint of draft beer and a free plate of wings.

With the Christmas holiday on Saturday, Joe needs all Blackout Tour sales by Friday at 4 p.m. Click below to order and get all the details.

It’s been widely reported that the Bucs signed Raheem Morris to a two-year deal with a club option for Year 3 in 2011. But there’s been nothing official about Raheem’s return or about Team Glazer giving him an extention with a raise.

During an interview on WDAE-AM 620 on Tuesday, general manager Mark Dominik was pressed by host Steve Duemig to comment on Raheem’s contract situation. Dominik said he’s eager to talk to his head coach about returning.

Steve Duemig: Are you going to sit down with coach and re-up him this offseason?

Mark Dominik: I look forward to it. We’ll certainly discuss that. …We got a special thing going here in Tampa, and I think we want to keep that going.

Earlier in that interview, Dominik was glowing about his coaching staff and the job its done with the tough task of preparing rookies. So it’s a no-brainer that Raheem will return, but will he get a new deal?

But Joe’s written before that it makes little business sense to lock up Raheem for many years. He’s not going anywhere, and he might as well prove himself another season.

Joe’s good friend Justin Pawlowski of WDAE-AM 620 and the host of the critically acclaimed “Blitz” heard sometimes on Saturdays has had it.

He’s had it with the Bucs babying LeGarrette Blount. He’s had it with the Bucs making excuses for not giving him the ball. He’s had it with the Bucs benching Blount in critical times of a close game.

In short, Justin believes Blount should be used as a weapon, not an experiment. And used early and often in a game, so Justin wrote on his blog found on the WDAE-AM 620 website.

Raheem said that ball security was the reason Blount was on the bench. Hey coach, the only reason your team was in position to win was because of Blount. Also, it’s not as if Blount is a fumbling machine. According to NFL.com, yahoo.com, and profootball-reference.com, Blount has fumbled just twice on 164 attempts. This isn’t a matter of Blount’s ball security, this was a matter of a coach losing his balls! Also, how about coaching up your 250 lb. back to run in short yardage. Who knows, maybe with a little coaching, your 250 lb. back could also be your goal line back. Stop over-thinking things with Blount and have faith in the guy!

Wow! Told ya’ Justin has had it with protecting Blount.

Pawlowski does have a very valid point: The Bucs likely would not be sniffing the playoffs without Blount. When he became a regular part of the offense (Arizona game), the offense blew up because defenses now had to worry about the run.

Blount also made Cadillac a better back as well.

At risk of speaking for Pawlowski, Joe believes entering the 16th week of the season, a rookie is no longer a rookie.

It seems the anonymous source those colorful fellows at PewterReport.com used to trash Jeremy Zuttah months ago may have unveiled himself unknowingly on local radio.

That would be Bucs general manager Mark Dominik.

In a Tuesday interview with the dean of Tampa Bay sports radio, Steve Duemig of WDAE-AM 620, the drive time king told Dominik that Zuttah might be the Bucs’ MVP this season. And Dominik replied as follows:

“He’s really stepped up and stepped through in different positions. And really, I think his demeanor and his outlook on this football team has completely changed. I think he’s really bought into what we’re doing and relishing wherever he can help contribute,” Dominik said.

So Dominik says Zuttah’s attitude has turned around “completely” and now he’s a team guy. Hmmm, so where the heck was Zuttah’s head before?

Very rare that Dominik would all but say a player’s mind wasn’t where it needed to be, especially a heady young player who has learned multiple positions and never been in off-the-field trouble.

Joe suspects Dominik initially misjudged Zuttah’s work ethic or attitude, or there was an incident that Zuttah had to overcome to re-establish himself.

Interesting stuff. (Joe suspects there could be a JimBuc sighting soon.)

It seems that some dude named Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani, no relation to the Iron Sheik, has made a covert deal with Team Glazer.

The extremely popular English tabloid London Sun, owned by Rupert Murdoch, is reporting that Manchester United will be sold to the ruling family of Qatar for more than $2 billion.

(Hey, Qatar bought the 2022 World Cup, why not a team of its own?)

Sadly, the folks at the London Sun, don’t give a pile of details. But Joe suspects that kind of money would hard for any mortal to shrug off.

Sources in the City are convinced the Glazers are ready to sell after they paid off £252m of the £752m of debt they saddled the club with.

One top city source said: “The belief is that they have already brought in extra finance from a third party in a bid to set the club up for a sale.”

A Middle East football finance expert, meanwhile, told SunSport that Qatar Holdings – the business arm of the country’s royal family – have been hovering around United waiting to strike.

Joe couldn’t blame Team Glazer for taking the massive profit with United. Throw in some Eric Cantona throwback jerseys and get the deal done, Glazers.

Things are on a high over there for them. Manchester United is undefeated after 16 games. They cleared a little debt, and it seems the angry United fans have given up on running them out of town. Games aren’t even blacked out.

Joe wonders whether a sale of that magnitude would change Team Glazer’s view of the Bucs.

UPDATE: Just to be clear, understand that the London Sun should never be confused with the Wall Street Journal. Specifically, truth for the London Sun can be, well, more obstacle than virtue. The reporter in question, Neil Custis, takes a harmless, innocent quote “It’s no secret, at some time, the family will sell,” and wildly and recklessly adds two-and-two and comes up with 35.

Of course the Glazer family would sell the team… 135 years from now perhaps when we’re all dust.

Let Joe just say there’s a reason he posted a photo of the Iron Sheik: His appearances with the King of All Media, Howard Stern, and his profession are more credible than most English tabloids.

Always remember and never forget, when reading the London Sun, it’s best to let one’s imagination run wild.

UPDATE II: The Bucs, via ProFootballTalk.com, have denied that Manchester United is for sale, reinforcing Joe’s suspicion The Sun was off the mark.

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Mugs Grill & Bar in Clearwater has fantastic food (award-winning wings and sauces) and is the place to watch all the games in Pinellas County.

It seems the NFL has poured salt in the wounds of Bucs fans.

The honchos at the league apparently have admitted that zebras fleeced the Bucs when a touchdown was stripped from Kellen Winslow after an offensive pass interference call, so reports Rick Stroud of the St. Pete Times.

“They apologized,” said offensive coordinator Greg Olson. “We’ve had a number of those this year. It’s real discouraging. We’ve played some tight games, but you can’t have those kind of mistakes. It’s disappointing, obviously. 

“Now, it wasn’t the only play in the game, but it was a critical one at a critical time.”

Thanks guys. Thanks for having a crapass officiating crew that somehow didn’t catch the look in the photo above with the Lions’ defender completely ignoring the ball in the air. 

Really sickening stuff.

If Joe isn’t watching the NFL Network (or gawking at photos of Rachel Watson), he’s either listening to the King of All Media, Howard Stern, or Adam Schein and Rich Gannon, co-hosts of “The Blitz,” heard exclusively on Sirius NFL Radio.

(Yeah, Joe knows Stern isn’t on Sirius NFL Radio, but like Bill King and Rivals Radio, they all are on Sirius — a great, thoughtful last-minute Christmas gift to a family member or friend.)

The duo answered an e-mail from a Bucs fan about the Bucs chances at the playoffs and the duo weren’t optimistic.

Adam Schein: That loss to Detroit was a killer Rich. I think that loss keeps our Buccaneers out of the tournament.

Rich Gannon: For the Bucs to make the playoffs they have to win at New Orleans the last week of the year and I just don’t see that. The Saints will be playing a meaningful game too. New Orleans already punched them in the mouth this season. With the defense the way it is for Bucs, I can’t see them coming out with a win.

This is what makes that loss to the rebuilding since 1957 Detroit Lions so painful. If “miserable” Drew Stanton can march the Lions down the field, imagine what Drew Brees can do?

Yet another example of why the NFL Network is the superior cable channel in the free world comes today.

The NFL Network, from the work of NFL Films, has a segment called “The Season.” In this episode the NFL Network has a day in the life of Raheem Morris.

Among the cool tidbits viewers will learn are Raheem’s tastes in breakfast. Let’s just say Raheem is not a Peter King kinda guy).

Special access is given behind the scenes to document what makes Raheem’s mind tick and his daily 17-hour routine at One Buc Palace.

Joe has made no secret of his thoughts on Out House Networks raping local football fans of their hard-earned dollars but slapping them in the face by denying them the NFL Network.

Joe has nothing whatsoever against the media people who work there — Joe sincerely, truly thinks they are fine people, all — but Joe has significant moral and ethical issues with the suits there and how they con innocent, unknowing local citizens.

Look, if you want to be a woman and know the weather every 10 minutes, want to be alerted to a new swing set in the Brandon city park and stay awake at night pondering the ever-important score of the Bartow-Robinson girls volleyball match, knock yourself out.

Until the suits at Out House Networks cease this abuse of local football fans and allow decent, right-thinking area residents to view the NFL Network, Joe will keep railing against this syndicate.

As always, real men have the NFL Network.

There is a constant item Joe noticed throughout this video. See if you can figure out what Joe is referring to. Joe will give readers a few hours to solve the riddle.

The Professor, John Clayton, of BSPN acknowledges he has heard from Bucs fans about his previous comments about what a sin it would be for the Bucs to make the playoffs. The loss to the rebuilding since 1957 Detroit Lions has only emboldened Clayton, who says in this BSPN video that if the Bucs somehow made the postseason in two weeks, that the feat would “cheat the playoffs.” No word on what Clayton feels about the Rams.

The Bucs have struggled mightily to punch the ball in on the goal line. The memories are fresh and painful.

Though admittedly not an excuse, Raheem Morris served up a bit of an explanation Monday on WDAE-AM 620. And he honed in on Earnest Graham losing a yard on 2nd-and-goal from the 1 yard line in the fourth quarter against Detroit.

“A lot of these [offensive linemen] don’t have live goal line reps under their belt. … We had a mistake from a younger player. We don’t make excuses. He didn’t fit it up right and we weren’t able to get that executed, and we actually lost a yard,” Morris said.  

“The last time you really get a live goal line rep in practice is in training camp. And a lot of the guys we have playing for us weren’t even in training camp with us. So right there you’re behind the 8-ball when you’re talking about some of those things. The first time a young guard like [Derek] Hardman, a young guard like [Ted] Larsen has a chance to get a live goal line rep is either in a big game in Atlanta on a 4th-and-1, or is a big game against the Lions when you’re fighting for playoff position on a 2nd-and-1. To be put in those situations sometimes for young players is tough. That’s part of the situational ball that you want to simulate in practice that’s harder to do during the season without having full pads on without going to the ground in practice and doing some of those things. Again, no need for excuses. We didn’t execute it, and we should.”

Prior to Raheem’s comments, he was backed up by Mike Alstott during a Monday interview on 1040 AM. Alstott was asked specifically why the Bucs struggle to get those critical yards.

“It’s a learning curve on short yardage. It’s hard to play in this league with no injuries let alone what the Bucs are dealing with,”  Alstott said. “There are rookies on the offensive line that weren’t in OTAs or camp. That’s tough. They’ll correct as time goes on.”

Hearing all this, Joe couldn’t help but wonder again why the Bucs had Hardman pulling on the goal line when he stripped Josh Freeman of the ball, which turned into a turnover against the Redskins that nearly cost the Bucs the game.

That aside, this is all just tough growing pains for the Bucs’ young roster.

Overall, clearly the Bucs have done a great job coaching around the inexperience.  

"Hey Olson, I've got enough on my hands with the defense as it is. Do I have to start calling plays on offense for you too? Com' on man!"

A lot of Bucs fans are angry with coach Raheem Morris, thinking he has gone all conservative of late, channeling his inner Father Dungy.

Well, Raheem is a defensive coach. And defensive coaches are, by nature, allergic to taking chances.

Consider that good guy Stephen Holder of the St. Petersburg Times is wondering that perhaps Raheem, also the Bucs defensive coordinator, is letting his defensive responsibilities get the best of him, so Holder wondered on Twitter.

Its fair to ask whether Raheem’s status as def coord might sometimes cloud his opinion of the unit. Just sayin’…

Well, unless there’s something going on Joe’s not aware of, Raheem isn’t the guy calling the plays on offense. If the offense is getting conservative, if the offense benches LeGarrette Blount for no good reason, if the offense doesn’t try to run quarterback Josh Freeman up the center’s rear end on short-yardage situations, don’t blame Raheem.

Point your finger at the guy calling the plays on offense: the offensive coordinator.

Reading between the lines here, Joe thinks it’s significant that Raheem Morris briefly mentioned the prospect of Tanard Jackson returning in 2011.

Speaking on The Raheem Morris Show on WDAE-AM 620 on Monday, Raheem talked about how exciting the future is with young players returning next year who didn’t get to show everything they had this year. He included the possibility of Jackson’s return, lumping him in with Gerald McCoy, Aqib Talib, Brian Price and Cody Grimm.

Raheem talked about players returning healthy and “in the right state of mind.”

Jackson, as Bucs fans know, allegedly hookah piped his way out of the league. He was suspended for the 2010 season under the league’s substance abuse policy.

One might think the Bucs would write him off after proving he can’t be counted on. But Joe suspects they’ll give Jackson another shot if they think his head’s on straight.

Raheem was secondary coach when Jackson was a rare rookie starter on Tampa Bay’s defense in 2007. Surely, there’s a deep bond.

Jackson will come cheap, and Joe is of the understanding that he’ll automatically be under contract.  Joe would be happy to have him back. Hopefully, the Bucs won’t make the mistake of counting on him contributing.