"Merry Christmas, Free. We hope."

One thing that frustrated Joe about the Bucs’ offseason was the scant, if any, upgrades to the Bucs offense.

More juice at wide receiver? No.

Scat back type? No.

Yes, the Bucs were roughly the 10th best offense in the NFL over the second half of the 2010 season, but it seemed that with legend-in-waiting Josh Freeman at quarterback, the Bucs might have wanted to added more weapons around him.

This seemed especially important to Joe with Arrelious Benn coming off major surgery and the Bucs waving goodbye to their productive third-down back, fan favorite Cadillac Williams.

Essentially, to get more dangerous, the Bucs drafted running back Allen Bradford — a longshot to wear a helmet on Sundays — and grabbed rookie tight end Luke Stocker with their late fourth-round pick. On paper, they’re hardly impact moves. But Stocker makes his debut Saturday following a training camp injury, and Joe can’t wait to see him, especially after Raheem Morris raved about the young man at his Friday news conference.

“Stocker’s really been fun to watch because he’s kind of that new present you get at the end of the day on Christmas. We finally got a chance to gift wrap him last week and this week,” Raheem said. “And looking at him go out there, he’s a big blocker type but he also has some foot quickness. We’re starting to see the stuff we fell in love with at the Senior Bowl come alive for him. …  I’m really fired up about that young man.”

Joe’s been naughty, but he’s ready for a Merry Christmas. And surely Freeman earned something from Santa. Hopefully, Stocker is another late-round gem from Mark Dominik.

Every Bucs fan hopes opening day against Detroit is sold out. But the reality is that it will take a minor miracle for that to happen 72 hours before kickoff in order to get the game on local TV.

So Joe has revived the Blackout Tour for the home opener on Sept. 11, to give Bucs fans an opportunity to watch the game live in HD-TV in Fort Myers at Lee Roy Selmon’s, if they can’t swing getting out to the game in Tampa.

Joe ran the Blackout Tour last season with his great partners at Paradise Worldwide Transportation. And this year the price has dropped and there will be stops in Tampa (Lee Roy Selmon’s near International Plaza) and at Derby Lane in St. Petersburg for the chauffeured luxury bus that will take fans fans to Fort Myers to catch the game.

The cost is only $22.95 per person, which includes roundtrip transportation and a FREE draft beer and a FREE plate of wings at Lee Roy Selmon’s in Fort Myers, plus free soft drinks on the bus.

Joe is pleased to offer this stunning deal. The Blackout Tour was a blast last year and is a fun, affordable way to catch the game. Visit BlackoutTour.com to grab your seat and get all the details. The luxury bus will sell out and another bus will NOT be added.

Don Shula, Howard Schnellenberger, Bobby Bowden, Steve Spurrier, Urban Meyer. Those are just some of the giants of football who made their mark on the state of Florida.

For some reason, Jimmy Johnson is forgotten.

Before Johnson won three Super Bowls with the Dallas Cowboys, Johnson took over an upstart program from Schnellenberger and transformed the Miami Hurricanes into a dynasty.

So it was interesting to learn of Johnson having developed an admiration for current Bucs coach Raheem Morris, so Johnson told Dan Sileo on WDAE-AM 620 earlier this week.

“I was really surprised,” Johnson said of how Morris came within a whisker of winning a playoff berth tiebreaker to the eventual Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers. “From Day 1, I was a little bit skeptical [of Morris’ hiring]. I thought he has done just a fantastic job. They really played well [last year].

“Raheem has had a lot to do with [last year’s success]. He coaches them with such confidence. He brings out the best in those players. I have been very impressed with what Raheem Morris has done.”

Yes, it’s easy to feel good about what Morris has done. There’s no denying how quickly he rebuilt the team from woeful in 2009 to near-playoffs last season.

Now whether the Bucs can duplicate that success this year and make the playoffs, well, that’s why they play the games. We will all know the answer to that in four months.

But if the Bucs don’t make the playoffs, what then? As Jerry Glanville famously said, the NFL means “not for long.” If the Bucs do not make the playoffs this season, meaning that would be three seasons under Morris the Bucs have not played in the postseason, does that make 2012 a make or break year for the Bucs head coach?

A week ago tonight the Bucs were blasted by New England at The CITS in both teams’ second preseason game. Afterwards, Bucs coach Raheem Morris said to the flock of fourth estate members that part of the reason for the lopsided loss was that the Bucs did not devise a gameplan for the Patriots.

Many cynics and Bucs fans scoffed at the suggestion that the Bucs didn’t have a  gameplan. Morris tried to explain later how he sets up preseason games each year and that the second game he doesn’t game plan.

The explanation did little to calm the nerves of Bucs critics, who thought Morris’ words were outlandish.

Well, now Joe can write definitively that the Bucs indeed did not have a gameplan going against the Patriots.

Thursday afternoon, Joe was privy to audio of Morris by way of NFL Films. On the last Sunday of training camp, the Sunday prior to the Patriots game, Aug. 14, Morris was wired by an NFL Films production crew and mentioned there would be no scheme for the Patriots.

In the audio clip, Sunday afternoon practice had just ended. It was the final practice of training camp that was open to the public. The Bucs gathered in a huddle around Morris as is tradition of sorts once practice is over. Morris, in sort of a pep talk to his players which he is so good at, reminds the Bucs they are still working hard to get better and make sure to thank the fans that came out to watch practice.

“This is the last practice that is open,” Morris told the team. “Let’s go over there and sign, wish everyone well. Thank them for coming. That’s who we are. We are still in camp mode. We are still getting better. We are still going good on good. We are not trying to scheme New England.”

Those words were straight out of the mouth of Morris, a full four days before kickoff against the Patriots.

So no, the Bucs weren’t trying to game plan against New England.

But they will against Miami Saturday.

Earlier Joe reported that cheap seats for opening day on Sept. 11 were all gobbled up, per what Joe was seeing on TicketMaster.com.

Well, Joe must stand corrected. There are about 100 $44 seats — total — available in sections 329, 328, 327, 344, 343 and 342 for the Bucs-Lions game featuring half-price concessions and hopefully decent refereeing.

So hurry up and get your credit card humming. 

In an eye-opening column by good guy Maoist Michael Silver, he details on Yahoo! Sports exactly why Bucs troubled cornerback Aqib Talib was summoned to the Park Avenue chambers of NFL warden commissioner Roger Goodell for Talib’s alleged involvement in a Texas pistol whipping and attempted shooting this spring.

Per Silver, in the final minutes of the asinine lockout when the new CBA talks were wrapping up, Goodell insisted on lording over players he deemed incorrigible despite the fact that players were locked out, prevented from stepping foot on any NFL or team property, and players and their families denied health benefits.

And what did Smith do when Goodell demanded authority to sentence players while locked out? Per Silver, Smith caved.

It doesn’t surprise me that Goodell is eager to ignore the absurdity of this position. I understand why the commissioner wants to “protect the shield” and ensure that those players whose actions he feels tarnished the league’s brand face harsh consequences. However, when he presumably informed Smith of this as the final stages of CBA negotiations were playing out, the union leader’s answer should have been, “I’m sure you do want to punish them. Well, you and the owners should have considered that before you locked us out.”

I don’t know for a fact that Smith didn’t object, but if he did, he should have fought harder. The mere fact that Goodell summoned Britt and Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback Aqib Talib to his office is a sign that the union went too soft on this issue. It may have been a lot worse than that: One source familiar with the negotiations claims Goodell, before resolving the issue of whether personal conduct violators during the lockout could be disciplined, “wanted eight names off the top who would definitely get punished, and apparently he got his way.”

Wow. It seems Goodell has been out to sentence Talib for some time now.

This does not bode well for Talib, nor the Bucs.

This smells to Joe like a nasty, ugly, lengthy suspension.

Strictly working off today’s TicketMaster.com data here, Joe’s seeing zero cheap Bucs tickets available for opening day against the Lions.

The good news is they’re sold.

The bad news is there are loads of tickets still available all over the stadium. The lowest price available that Joe could find, with service charge, is $71.25, and there are plenty in the end zone for $105.25.

Joe wishes he could envision any scenario that would have a stampede of ticket buyers jumping at these prices to meet the NFL blackout deadline for opening day, which is 14 days from today.

Even with half-price concessions for the opener, the Bucs just have too many tickets left to sell for what likely will be a blistering hot 1 o’clock kickoff.

A recent JoeBucsFan poll (with more than 1,000 respondents) revealed that 45 percent of you plan to watch the game snuggled up to a pirated Internet feed to beat the blackout. Joe wonders whether the NFL plans any kind of 11th-hour covert operation to bust up that racket.

Joe’s hardly wishing that on Bucs fans, but it’s odd to Joe that the NFL doesn’t seem to be flexing its muscle — or handing out stuffed brown envelopes — to combat the Internet feeds. Perhaps Roger Goodell is too busy exalting perverts.

UPDATE: Well, if you tinker with Ticketmaster long enough… it seems there are a few sections where $44 tickets are indeed available, about 100 altogether in sections 327, 328, 329, 342, 343 and 344.

Even a guy walking around with a white cane could tell the impact that LeGarrette Blount had on the Bucs last season.

Connie Chung was depressed because the Bucs rushing attack was so impotent early in the season. Opposing defenses rarely concerned themselves with the Bucs running attack, instead schemed only to stop the pass.

The moment Blount started running wild on defenses and teams began to adjust to the run, that opened up passing lanes, and voila! Offense!

The Bucs win at Arizona was a perfect example of Blount’s impact on the offense.

But Christopher Harris of BSPN isn’t buying this. He is of the mind Blount is all hype and that if Blount was truly valuable, he’d be on the field on third downs.

It’s not that I’m calling Blount a potential bust. I think he’s got too much job security for that, and he doesn’t strike me as an inordinate injury risk, jumping or no. I just don’t see an excess of upside. For all the Buccaneers’ beat reporters writing stories about Blount “looking good” catching the ball during training camp, the big man hasn’t stayed on the field for third downs much at all this preseason, and Earnest Graham and/or Kregg Lumpkin look like the pass-catching backs in the Tampa offense. Blount caught all of five passes last season, and I didn’t see any evidence in either of the Bucs’ exhibition games to date that indicates he’ll even threaten 20 grabs this year. And an offensive line that a few years ago seemed promising now just seems bleh. The tackles, Donald Penn and Jeremy Trueblood, got new contracts this summer but are at best average in my eyes. Davin Joseph got a huge extension at right guard but hasn’t yet proved he’s the mauler he was supposed to be when Tampa took him in the first round of the ’06 draft. Center Jeff Faine is very strong when he’s in there, but he’s missed 12 games the past two seasons combined. It’s not a bad group, but it’s pretty average. I know much has been made of new offensive line coach (and former Vikings coach) Pat Morris, the subtle implication being that Adrian Peterson enjoyed running behind a Morris line, so maybe Blount suddenly has AP-like openings. But while Blount is surprisingly shifty for a guy his size, he doesn’t have anything close to Peterson’s long speed, nor, I would argue, does Tampa have any lineman who could match up with guys like Steve Hutchinson or Bryant McKinnie in their primes.

Later, Harris went on to claim Blount is the 20th-best running back in the league and Joe had to do a double-take. Ah, ha! Joe noticed that Harris qualified this as “fantasy back.”

That explains it. You know, Joe reads feces like this and toward the end of the story he notices it’s is about “fantasy” football, which just reinforces Joe’s theory “fantasy” football is pure horsemanure.

Fantasy football — keyword, “fantasy” — is to real football like Rachel Watson is to Joe’s bedroom.

Only in “fantasy” football would an alleged sober person suggest Blount is a low-rung NFL running back.

The dean of Tampa Bay TV sports news guys, Dave Wirth, of WTSP Ch. 10, keeps it real for freaked out Bucs fans in the video below. It’s all part of Joe’s new partnership with WTSP.

Remember, the Bucs-Dolphins game is blacked out Saturday. You can watch it tape delayed on Ch. 10 first at 11:30 p.m. Saturday, then again at noon on Sunday.

Frank “Mount” Okam, who filled in for injured Gerald McCoy last year at under tackle, has a big fan in former Bucs defensive end Steve White (1996-2001), the definitive authority on all things Bucs D-line.

Last year, White was calling for Okam to play nose tackle, and now White’s fired up about the results of Okam at the nose against New England, so he said on 1010 AM Tuesday night with Derek “Old School” Fournier.

“This guy’s a gargantuan. Put him at the nose and they won’t be able to move him. And now because of injury they had to throw him in there, and that guy had a really good game. It was really hard for [New England] to move him. There were a couple of times when they tried to block him single with a guard and (laughs) it looked like literally an adult playing with a kid. Like ‘Get off me. Get off me so I can go make this tackle.’ It was kind of ridiculous as a matter of fact,” White said.

“So, you know, I understand why [the Bucs] really can’t, air quotes, play him at nose because there’s kind of a log jam now with guys who were draft picks, but I’m not so sure that he wouldn’t be the best option right now.”

White went on to say he likes Brian Price a lot and acknowledged Roy Miller’s knee injury but Mount Okam is probably top dog regardless.

“You got a healthy Frank Okam who’s really hard to move and has got quite a bit of wiggle for a man that size. You might want to go ahead and make that move right now [to start Okam] and be ahead of the game and get him acclimated to starting at nose tackle,” White said. “And go ahead and start the season with him. If [Price and Roy Miller] are good enough to overtake him after the season starts, then so be it. But right now, for my money, he’s the best nose we’ve got.”

Interestingly, at Raheem Morris’ Wednesday news conference, the head coach responded to a question about Brian Price’s ideal role and talked about the luxury of having Miller and Price at nose tackle, so Miller can play first and second downs and Price pass rush, and occasionally come in earlier in different packages.

There was no mention of Mount Okam.

Joe sincerely hopes the but-we-drafted-him politics aren’t in play for that nose tackle job, as White implied. “Best man up” should always prevail. Raheem himself has glowed about Mount Okam. Joe’s pulling for the man.

So what’s the status of Da’Quan Bowers and his role on the 2011 Buccaneers?

The Bucs’ second-round pick is a second-stringer at left defensive end and has a long way to go to catch the guy ahead of him, so said Raheem Morris today at his news conference at One Buc Palace.

“It’s not going to be easy [for Bowers] to get on the field, if Michael [Bennett] continues to play that well and you can’t keep up,” Raheem said.

Raheem went on to express his excitement about seeing Bowers’ “power and get-off” returning. But Raheem cited Bowers flashing a tentative side against the Patriots that Keith Millard is all over.

“It was almost like he was scared to hit Free [in practice],” Raheem said. 

Bennett was praised for “giving us maximum effort” and there’s love in Raheem’s voice when he talks about him.

Joe’s excited for Bennett. The guy has flashed explosive get-off over the past two seasons. Maybe this is his breakout year.

It sure seems like Bowers, who allegedly is a No. 1-pick-in-the-draft talent, isn’t going to get any kind of playing time gifts like those bequeathed to Kyle Moore last year. Joe’s all about the best-man-up philosophy, which doesn’t always fly on the Bucs and throughout the NFL.

Bucs linebacker Mason Foster was largely drafted because of his physical nature in making tackles, like he did at the University of Washington.

But the Bucs rookie is quickly learning that type of play is verboten in NFL warden commissioner Roger Goodell’s world. Woody Cummings of the Tampa Tribune brought word via the TBO Bucs Twitter feed that the NFL has fined Foster $20,000 for his destruction of attention whore Patriots receiver MuchoStinko.

MLB Mason Foster fined $20,000 for blowing up Chad Ochocinco. Foster says fine won’t alter the way he plays.

Joe was going to write this before and now it’s time to put fingers to keyboard: The main reason the Bucs drafted Foster was for punishing hits and the main reason Bucs fans ran Barrett Ruud out of town was he wasn’t physical enough, yet Ruud’s style of play is what is necessary in today’s NFL.

Physical play results in penalties for a team, and heavy fines for a player.

The type of play Ruud was decried for, is the type of play the NFL has now become.

You wanted it Bucs fans. You wanted Ruud gone. You wanted, pined, cried for what is now illegal play in the NFL.

Always be careful what you wish for.

Joe still has all his fingers and toes crossed for Arreilous Benn.

The rookie receiver was strong on special teams in 2010 and bursting on to the scene as a receiver before he ripped up his ACL in the home blowout against Seattle on Dec. 26. Benn was said to have made a legendary recovery, but the real challenge starts Saturday, when Benn gets his first action of the preseason.

Joe doesn’t expect to see Benn on special teams, but it seems, per the St. Pete Times, Benn won’t miss a beat on offense.

“I don’t anticipate to do anything out of the normal,” Benn said. “Just follow my game plan and do what I need to do.”

Yeah, Joe knows the Bucs know knees like no other team, but Joe’s still concerned that Benn might take quite a while to regain his late-2010 form.

NFL.com scribe and NFL Network talking head Mike Lombardi, a former player personnel executive, isn’t in the Raheem Morris fan club.

Lombardi clobbered Raheem on NFL.com yesterday, taking Raheem’s comments after the Patriots’ beating and saying they’re evidence Bucs’ players have lost confidence in Raheem because he’s blowing hot air, among other negativity.

Morris had the perfect opportunity to be more demanding on his team using the Patriots approach as a symbol of excellence, but he chose to dismiss the Patriots style and allow his team to not be accountable. Do you think his players really believe Morris’ approach is better than that of a three-time Super Bowl winning coach? Morris missed his chance to take his team to another level.

The worst thing any coach can do — whether it’s Mike McCarthy of the Packers or Bill Belichick of the Patriots — is to be satisfied based on preseason play. A coach must keep his team focused during preseason, keep them working to improve and keep their full attention. Therefore, when a team plays poorly, or below that level, a coach has the opportunity to make the corrections needed and refocus his team, which is exactly what Reid is going to do this week.

Joe suggests you click through and read the whole blast from Lombardi, who contrasts Raheem to Andy Reid and his reaction to the Eagles’ brutal loss last week.

Joe’s stunned because Lombardi is writing as if Raheem’s postgame message to the media is exactly the same as the one to his players. Why is Lombardi so sure of that? Geez, Lombardi worked side by side with Chucky. One would think he’d be intimately familiar with how coaches say one thing to players and one thing to media.

Plus, it’s half a preseason game when the Bucs didn’t scheme against the Patriots. Who cares?

Joe suspects Lombardi was all too eager to blast Raheem, giving no respect or benefit of the doubt to the rightful coach of the year in 2010.

This is beginning to become a soap opera.

Last Friday Joe was stunned at how the usual mild-mannered Shaun King went on an emotional rant while co-hosting the too-Jewish sounding “King David Show” with Toby David on WQYK-AM 1010, about how Bucs defensive tackle Gerald McCoy needed to shutup and prove himself.

But that wasn’t all that angered King. The former Bucs quarterback, one of only three in team history to lead the Bucs to an NFC Conference championship game, seemed morally offended that GMC was joking after the game that he asked Patriots quarterback Tom Brady to slow down so the Bucs defensive linemen could catch their breath.

King continued with a sermon against GMC Monday, not wavering one bit on his initial thoughts despite widespread criticism from former Bucs players like Steve White, and many random Bucs fans.

Last night Joe documented King’s latest diatribe against GMC and, of course, many Bucs fans were outraged once again by King, both on the Internet and on Twitter.

Shortly thereafter, GMC must have gotten word of the many Bucs fans who came to GMC’s defense. In a shocking move, GMC came to King’s defense and asked fans not to mock King.

Geraldini93: Oh and I seen people coming at @realshaunking wrong. Don’t do that people. Not right. You the man Shaun. Be easy. God bless bruh.

Joe doesn’t know exactly what to write after reading GMC’s missive. The only thing that comes to Joe’s mind is that GMC is a class man.

The irony of CBS revealing that criminal woman biter and renowned sicko Marv Albert will lead its No. 4 NFL broadcast crew on the same day Aqib Talib is summoned to NFL hypocrite hatchetman commisioner Roger Goodell’s office is too much for Joe to bear.

Let’s get this straight: Goodell, the high and mighty protector of the NFL shield and treasured brand, has signed off on a high-profile pervert to be the face of an NFL broadcast. Is there no code of conduct for broadcasters?

It was one thing to have Albert neatly tucked away calling Monday Night Football on the radio, which has few listeners, as Albert did for much of the last decade. But this is too much.

Maybe all the young NFL fans will enjoy Albert’s TV calls and Google him only to find gems from his 1997 sentencing following his forceable sodomy trial, like this one from the New York Times.

Although he did not testify at the trial, Mr. Albert was called by the prosecution at today’s sentencing. The maneuver surprised his lawyer, Roy Black, who called it a ”grandstand play” intended to humiliate Mr. Albert.

Mr. Albert described the events of Feb. 12 when he met Vanessa Perhach at the Ritz Carlton Hotel at Pentagon City in Arlington. Ms. Perhach testified at the trial that after she refused his request to bring a second man to their assignation, he threw her on the bed, bit her and made her perform oral sex.

 

Monday afternoon, former Bucs quarterback Shaun King, one of only three quarterbacks in Bucs history to lead his team to a conference championship game, continued his verbal assault on Bucs defensive tackle Gerald McCoy.

Last week King, who co-hosts the too Jewish-sounding “King David Show” along with Toby David, heard locally on WQYK-AM 1010, unleashed a tirade on GMC who King believes talks too much and doesn’t produce. And until McCoy produces, King says McCoy should remain quiet and humble. King was particularly incensed over GMC joking to the Boston Globe that Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was so good, that GMC asked Brady to slow down so the Bucs could catch their breath.

Monday, King continued his ire and defended his actions to a multitude of critics claiming King was not right in his lecturing GMC.

I stand by what I said. I think he talks talks too much for a guy who has not proven anything in this league. I stand by that. I am not a Gerald McCoy hater. I think, when you look at his track record, there has not been production that matches the ability that he has. And I think for Tampa to have success defensively, he has to play at a Pro Bowl level, period. I’ve seen the [Patriots] game, I’ve watched the coaches’ copy, I saw the rebroadcast. He did get penetration. He was pretty good at the point of attack. But at the end of the game, he had one tackle. There is a disconnect between his talent and his production. I feel like the gap needs to close. … I heard people say he played well. He didn’t play well — he had one tackle!

King didn’t stop there. He also mocked his critics saying, “Don’t call with those weak arguments about my career and how good you thought I was because that is irrelevant. If I can’t have an opinion, then if you didn’t play [in the NFL], then how can you?”

As always, Shaun welcomes your feedback by following him on Twitter @realshaunking.

King’s full diatribe from Monday can be heard by clicking the arrow below.

[audio: kingvsmccoy.mp3]

Audio clip courtesy of WQYK-AM, hat tip Justin.

Joe saw the Bucs offense struggle mightily over five brutal series last week, and Joe also saw the Buc’s greatest talent in the passing game on the sidelines.

That would be Kellen Winslow. Sure, Joe’s a Mike Williams fan, but Joe would take Winslow over Williams some cheerleader pinned Joe down and forced him to choose sides.

Per Josh Freeman’s fireside chat with the media today, Freeman said he’s pretty sure Winslow will play against Miami when the Bucs starters play more than a half on Saturday. So that’s good news, especially for the paying customers at The C.I.T.S.

Winslow’s presence can’t be understated, for the attention he gets as well as the catches he makes. Joe suspects all that man coverage the Patriots played last week might not have had the same outcome if Winslow’s in the game.

Joe keeps his ear to the pulse of the entire Tampa Bay area football scene, so this video was of great interest.

Joe’s media partners at WTSP-TV, Ch. 10 explain how a local football player will run around in skimpy clothing on a popular network TV show. … Joe would never kick her off the island.