32 Buccaneers Holiday Gifts

December 24th, 2022

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BY IRA KAUFMAN

This is the season of good cheer and Buc fans are in short supply.

Even with a win at Arizona, coupled with losses by Carolina, Atlanta and New Orleans, Tampa Bay cannot wrap up the NFC South crown this weekend. That tells you all you need to know about the concerning state of affairs at One Buc Place.

Still, this is a team that teased its supporters last week with a dominating first half against the surging Bengals. A flurry of giveaways triggered a meltdown that dropped the Bucs to 6-8 heading into a Christmas night matchup against the beleaguered Cardinals.

In the Yuletide spirit, here are some gifts that would be welcomed by the organization:

Todd Bowles: A 9-8 record, followed by a home playoff victory against America’s Team.

Jamel Dean: A lucrative free-agent deal for a job well done in 2022.

Ke’Shawn Vaughn: A fresh start with another franchise.

Jason Licht: A dynamic pass rusher in the 2023 draft.

Mike Evans: A map to the end zone.

Vita Vea: A healthy 2023 season at 330 pounds.

Ryan Jensen: A full return of Mr. Nasty to anchor the offensive line.

Byron Leftwich: A new work address next fall.

Cade Otton: 60 catches and 7 TDs in Year 2.

Devin White: Weekly tutorials with Derrick Brooks.

Joe Tryon-Shoyinka: Offseason workout sessions with Simeon Rice.

Ryan Succop: No changes necessary.

Bruce Arians: A 35 on the front 9.

Gene Deckerhoff: Consideration for the Ring of Honor.

Rondé Barber: A knock on the door from the Hall.

Chris Godwin: Achieving 100 catches in a comeback season.

Tristan Wirfs: Recognition as the NFL’s premier offensive lineman.

Lavonte David: Another Super Bowl run before he’s done.

Antoine Winfield Jr.: A full regular season, capped by a Pro Bowl berth.

Leonard Fournette: Fresh legs.

Donovan Smith: A return to 2020-2021 form.

Carlton Davis: A heavy dose of consistency.

Shaq Barrett: Impact plays galore.

Kyle Trask: Some snaps that count.

Logan Hall: Proof that he belongs.

Tom Moore: A glowing report for his yearly physical.

John Spytek: A chance to run his own show somewhere else.

Rachaad White: 200 carries.

Akiem Hicks: A rather large mirror to look into and reflect.

Kyle Rudolph: A new hobby.

Tom Brady: One more tearful embrace with the Vince Lombardi Trophy.

Buc fans: Belief.

Ira with his good friend and JoeBucFan.com draft guru Sean Sullivan, general manager of Bill Currie Ford and host of the Best In Class podcast. Sean will help you personally in any way he can. Just ask!!!

18 Responses to “32 Buccaneers Holiday Gifts”

  1. Statistically Insignificant Reader Says:

    Glazers: Fresh roll of toilet paper to wipe their ass clean of the Bowles Leftwich circle jerk shet show.

  2. Razor Ramone Says:

    That’s a good wish list Ira. Hope you, the Joe’s and everyone that follows JBF has a great Christmas! ! Go Bucs!

  3. bucsince79 aka bumanner Says:

    Thank you IRA for being IRA!!! Happy Holidays

  4. Hodad Says:

    Hopeing some on your list do better next year is really wishing. Like D. Smith getting back in form. Aging players get worse, they don’t return to form. If David wants another ring, he’ll have to find another team. His play this year isn’t worth what he wants to be paid. Winfield, Dean, just can’t stay healthy, don’t pay Dean. Hicks doesn’t need the mirror to look in Ira LIcht does. It was Licht who thought he was upgrading by signing Hicks, instead of Suh. Licht really needs that big mirror. You know what I’m wishing for? A fresh start, even if it means losing at first. This house needs to scraped from the foundation, and built anew.

  5. Smashsquatch Says:

    Ira: A new ink cartridge for his favorite pen. Keep bringing it Ira!

  6. Tampabaybucfan Says:

    #33 A Gronk return to join Brady in 23…..

  7. BigMacAttack Says:

    I wholeheartedly agree with Gene Deckerhoff in the Ring of Honor. It’s long overdue. Not only Ronde in the HOF, but how bout Simeon Rice too. All is long overdue. We know you’re trying, Ira. Don’t give up, keep fighting for what’s right.

  8. FortMyersDave Says:

    Good one Ira but belief starts when the coaching staff is fired. Bowels and Leftwich lost it a long time ago. Leftwich at Pittsburgh and Bowels in that idiotic loss to Cleveland. Fire them yesterday.

  9. FortMyersDave Says:

    BigMac. Yes on Deckerhoff, the dude deserves

  10. FortMyersDave Says:

    full accolades given what he had to call outside of 1997 to 2002 and 2020/2021. Plus he was ****ing awesone as the voice of the Noles.

  11. Richard Dickson Says:

    But if Bowles gets his gift, we probably get him back next year, and I’m not sure that’s a gift *I* want.

  12. D-Rok Says:

    When this team finds an identity, this fan will believe.

  13. Jeff Says:

    Yucs fans just want a competent coaching staff.

  14. Redeemer Says:

    Brother D-Rok, they do have an identity. Underachieving frontrunners. When the going gets tough, the bucs get waxed. I can’t think of a team with as much hype to start the year, that played so poorly. Maybe they just aren’t that good. I think most everyone here vastly overrated the talent. Including myself at times. You are what your record says. The time to pull things together has come and gone.

  15. HC Grover Says:

    Panters not losing.

  16. unbelievable Says:

    Cheers Ira! That’s a good list.

    Merry Christmas / Happy Hanukkah / Happy Holidays to Ira, the Joes, and all my fellow Bucs fans and JBFers. Even the dumb ones.

  17. Goatfarmer Says:

    For Buc fans, Bowels must also find a new address. No team with this much talent plays this flat with no juice. None.

    Adios, Toad.

  18. Stormy Says:

    Bucs Fans – a new coaching staff with a clue.