Tampa Police: Raiderfan Drunk, Disorderly

December 31st, 2008

On Monday, Joe brought you the story, via Deadspin.com, of Raiderfan from New Jersey who claimed he did nothing wrong and was run from the CITS. So Raiderfan starts an e-mail campaign to clean his name. Problem was, he wouldn’t release his name.

So Raiderfan is on the offensive and he was exposed by the Tampa police, again, per Deadspin.com. Raiderfan tried to get an explanation from the Tampa Sports Authority but it didn’t work so well.

We are sorry that you did not have the experience that you expected to have here at Raymond James Stadium during the Raiders game. We seek to offer each fan a positive experience.

Your inquiry, however, cannot be addressed by our staff due to your ejection by the Tampa Police Department. The TPD records indicate that you were intoxicated and caused a disturbance by cussing and instigating fights, thus your questions must be directed to them, now. Please call *** at ********* and he will respond to your concerns”.

This reply didn’t please Raiderfan.

Like i said before though, I wasn’t drunk. I did have a couple beers outside of the stadium, but I wasn’t drinking inside the stadium. I was not breathalyzed or given a field sobriety test by the officers, so I’m not sure how they made that determination.

I’ll admit I probably cursed at some point in the first quarter and a half of the game. I wasn’t directing it at any fans, but I’m sure a “F*uck yeah!” as the Raiders forced another punt popped out at some point. I would have felt it was totally reasonable for someone from the Tampa Bay staff to pull me out my seat, and ask me to adjust my language.

BUSTED!

Joe was highly skeptical that a Raiderfan — from New Jersey no less! — would be the model of good manners where there was beer involved. Joe knows how that “couple of beers outside the stadium” works all too well. Joe’s had “a couple of beers” (more like eight) before a game and then sobered up during the game while he sweated out the alcohol in the searing Florida sun.

Besides, if $8 beers won’t sober you up, Joe isn’t sure what will. Joe has nothing personal against the Glazer Boys but $8 a beer… well, even Joe has standards.

Deadspin also posted a photo of Raiderfan in question. He may not have any taste in NFL teams or beer (Natty Light, really???) but it appears he has good taste in women. Joe is impressed.

Backwards Hat Looks Forward

December 31st, 2008

It pains Backwards Hat, also known as Rick Brown of the Lakeland Ledger, to call his video report this week a “final report.” Alas, it is.

Final for the season.

So Backwards Hat — who isn’t wearing a hat or cap of any sort this week — takes a look at changes the Bucs may make and areas of the team that need to be addressed.

Monte Kiffin Feted

December 31st, 2008

The good people of Buccaneers.com have a really neat tribute to departing defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin. Roger Goodell isn’t being such a good person by being greedy and not providing embed codes.

The Kiffin feature is really something to see. Nice work. Also, Buccaneers.com not only has Kiffin’s farewell press conference in its entirety, but also Chucky’s end of the season meeting with the pen and mic club.

Additionally, Scott Smith of Buccaneers Report has a dismal recap of the Bucs final game of the season Sunday.

Which Winless Team Was Worse?

December 30th, 2008
One of the few good things about the 1976 Bucs was future Hall of Fame defensive end Lee Roy Selmon. He also has a pretty good restaurant too.

One of the few good things about the 1976 Bucs was future Hall of Fame defensive end Lee Roy Selmon. He fires up some tasty ribs, too.

When the Detroit Lions lost to the Packers Sunday, it cemented the team as the worst in NFL history, in Joe’s eyes, surpassing forever the winless 1976 Bucs (0-14).

But USA Today is not quite as sure. It is running a poll asking what team was the worst in NFL history, And the story compares the ’76 Bucs and the ’08 Lions, the first team to lose 16 games in a season.

The story graphic compares the worst loss of the teams’ season, family connections on the clubs and “brushes with victory.”

Joe is still of the mind the Lions were worse, not because they lost 16 games but because the 1976 Bucs were an expansion team in the days before free agency. Back then, an expansion team had only its drafted players from the prior spring and other teams’ castoffs.

The Lions had several former first- and second-round picks on the team, alongside hand-picked free agents.

Surprising Monte Kiffin Quote In Tennessee Paper

December 30th, 2008
Why would Monte say a lot of people want him on the first bus to Tennessee?

Why did Monte Kiffin say a lot of people want him on the first bus to Tennessee?

Joe isn’t quite sure what to make of a quote by recently departed Bucs defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin.

Kiffin talked to many media outlets following Sunday’s horrific loss to the Raiders, the culmination of the Bucs’ four-week defensive collapse. In what was either a self-deprecating moment, a cocky statement about how much University of Tennessee fans want him, or a revelation of some hidden turmoil between Monte and Jon Gruden and/or others, Kiffin told the Knoxville News Sentinel he is certain that a lot of people want to see him leave Tampa immediately.

“The hardest thing right now is you can’t come back with these players,” Kiffin said. “We’ve always fixed it. I just want to go back and start again – these last four weeks. But you can’t do that.

“You have to move on. That’s life. All I can say is I’ll always love the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I’m sure there’s a lot of people that are wishing that Kiff takes the first bus to Tennessee.”

Without knowing Monte’s personality, it’s hard to speculate why he would say people want him to take the first bus out of town. It’s a little bizarre. Perhaps there’s more to Monte leaving than what appears.

Vacation Man Cites Obvious

December 30th, 2008

Apparently, Vacation Man, of BSPN fame, thinks he is speaking to people who walk around with white canes. In a recent “Blogger’s Blitz” on BSPNews, he is asked what happened to the Bucs. His reply?

“Their defense collapsed.”

You don’t say?

Vacation Man begins talking Bucs at about the 2:30 mark.

Do The Bucs Need An Overhaul?

December 30th, 2008

The fingers are still being pointed from all corners at the Bucs. Chucky, Bruce Almighty, the Glazer Boys, the defensive line, you name it.

Count Joe Henderson of the Tampa Tribune among the many (including your favorite Joe). Henderson seems to be of the opinion that the entire team — with few exceptions — from Bruce Almighty all the way down to running backs need to get the heave-ho.

Maybe fans are just tired of the double-talk. Gruden was still at it Monday morning. He said he wants Jeff Garcia back next season. He wants Michael Clayton back. He sort of wants Joey Galloway to return. My goodness, man. Gruden can’t really be saying that, can he?

You don’t bring Garcia back. You don’t bring Clayton back. You don’t bring Galloway back. Galloway wasn’t even here when he was here. Use your eyes and see this team for what it is, because that’s what fans are doing. There are maybe a couple of areas on this team that don’t need a total makeover.

The offensive line and defensive secondary look fine. The kicker, punter and return man are fine, too. But do you trust the quarterback? Running backs? Receivers?

Joe will have much more on what he thinks the Bucs will do and where the Bucs need to upgrade in the coming days and weeks. But it’s pretty obvious the two areas where the Bucs need help are the defensive tackle positions and quite possibly an entire housecleaning of the offense save for the line and Antonio Bryant; not unlike what Chucky did when he took over for Father Dungy.

Galloway Fired Up For 2009

December 30th, 2008
Joey Galloway said he plans on much more end zone flexing in the future

Joey Galloway said he plans on much more end zone flexing in the future

The White Tiger is 37 but says he still has plenty of kitten left in him.

Speaking Monday night on The Joey Galloway Show, on 620 AM, The Sports Animal, Galloway told co-host Steve Duemig he is eager to play several more years in the NFL.

Galloway said this offseason will be unique for him as he will enter it 100 percent healthy. Known for his rigorous training regimen, Galloway said he will work at his usual pace and can’t wait for the start of training camp with the Bucs or possibly another team.

The Bucs have Galloway under contract for 2009, and Joe is certain the Bucs will hold onto him, or possibly trade him in August if a good deal arises.

First, Bruce Almighty and Chucky are thin at receiver and they won’t want Galloway to catch on with a conference rival. Also, Chucky is very likely to fall in love again with a healthy Galloway in the spring and try to pretend Galloway’s time in the doghouse this season is ancient history.

You can almost hear Gruden after a 2009 minicamp session, “I love Joey Galloway. He’s a big part of what we do here.”

Bucs Flunk

December 29th, 2008
Your Bucs flunked Chucky.

Your Bucs flunked Chucky.

Bucs fans aren’t the only ones who think the Pewter Pirates stunk up the joint royally this weekend. So too does Ross Tucker of SI.com. Tucker, a former NFL player, now has a regular column for SI.com. And he gives the Bucs a great big fat “F” for their performance Sunday.

Losing four in a row was bad enough, but the manner in which they lost is especially troubling. A prideful defensive unit built on veterans like Ronde Barber and Derrick Brooks came unglued over the last month of the season. Teams seemed to run at will against a Bucs squad that never recovered from a Monday Night drubbing at the hands of the Carolina Panthers. Even after that debacle, the thought of the Bucs losing three in a row, including the last two at home to San Diego and Oakland, was hard to fathom.

Joe’s only problem with Tucker’s analysis is he later plays lazy journalist and tries to blame Monte Kiffin’s departure as the reason for the tank job.

Come on Tucker, you get paid big bucks working for SI.com. Take five minutes of your time and do a little research, will ya?

‘Secret Weapon’ To Afterthought In Five Days

December 29th, 2008
Last week, Chucky called rookie QB Josh Johnson the team's secret weapon. Today he forgot to mention him when asked about developing young quarterbacks.

Last week, Chucky told the Oakland media rookie QB Josh Johnson is the Bucs’ secret weapon. Today he didn’t mention him when asked about developing young quarterbacks.

Chucky seems to have forgotten about the young guy being molded in his quarterback laboratory.

At his Monday news conference, Coach Gruden was hit with a question about his love for veteran quarterbacks and his apparent inability to develop a quality young quarterback.

Chucky said he never really had a rookie quarterback who was a blue-chip prospect. He explained that in Oakland veteran Rich Gannon was given to him, and how Brad Johnson was waiting for him Tampa. Also, he went on to say that he did some good things developing Chris Simms (a third-round pick).

Oddly, during Chucky’s entire response, he never once mentioned Josh Johnson, the Bucs’ fourth-string quarterback (a 2008 fifth-round pick).

But just five days ago, Chucky told the Oakland media how great Johnson can be.

“He’s our secret weapon. He’s in our laboratory and I don’t know if they’re going to give me enough time to develop him, but I’ve got a lot of confidence in what this guy can be. He is a very good athlete. A great kid. Football-smart, man. Players love him. I just think a year from now, he goes to training camp, he’ll show you and a lot of people that he belongs in the league and he can become an NFL quarterback.

Joe finds it very fishy that Chucky failed to mention Johnson today. How could he fail to mention the “secret weapon” in the “laboratory.”

THE PESSIMIST: Crybaby Clayton All But Seals Exit

December 29th, 2008
THE PESSIMIST has found a rare photo of Michael Clayton in possession of the football. This image happens slightly more often than an appearance of the Comet Kohoutek.

THE PESSIMIST has found a rare photo of Michael Clayton in possession of the football. This image happens slightly more often than an appearance of the Comet Kohoutek.

Much was made of wide receiver Michael Clayton’s first touchdown reception of 2008 yesterday — first of the season… in the last game of the season. But THE PESSIMIST was beyond shocked to learn, thanks to Stephen Holder of the St. Petersburg Times, the touchdown was only Clayton’s second touchdown in four seasons.

For catching one touchdown pass this season, Hands of Stone Clayton pocketed a cool figure of $2,055,280 if the USA Today NFL player salary datebase is to be trusted.

Of course, Clayton continued his whining that he began last week about not being utilized properly.

“I’ve never doubted my ability to get in the end zone. I’ve always been a guy to play my hardest, and I try to take advantage of that opportunity. Today, I was given that opportunity.”

Hey Mike, how was that “opportunity” you had to convert a critical fourth down play from the Raiders-33 midway through the fourth quarter? You know, the one where you had both hands on the ball? Oh, that’s right, you dropped it! I guess it’s a good thing you have selective amnesia, huh?

THE PESSIMIST agrees with Joe: One can find all sorts of bouncers and truck drivers who can block and run good routes. But a wide receiver also has to be able catch the ball once in a blue moon.

THE PESSIMIST has noticed that Ike Hilliard doesn’t get a whole lot of opportunities yet he’s able to haul the damned ball in. Antonio Bryant missed a year of football and started the season as a reserve yet he was able to catch the damned ball.

THE PESSIMIST was a big supporter of Clayton when he was drafted by the Bucs when 99 percent of Bucs fans were screaming bloody murder. Sadly, his detractors were quickly proven to be correct.

Don’t let the door at One Buc Palace hit you in the rear end on your way out, Clayton. Unless, of course, you play for the league minimum. Guys who average two touchdowns every four years shouldn’t be pulling in seven figures a year.

Players who pull millions to catch two touchdowns in four years generally move on to pulling money away from senile senior citizens in aluminum siding telemarketing scams.

Gruden: “We Want Jeff Back”

December 29th, 2008
If Jon Gruden returns as Bucs coach, expect Jeff Garcia to sign a new two-year contract with the Bucs

If Jon Gruden returns as Bucs coach, expect Jeff (and Carmella) Garcia to sign a new two-year contract with the Bucs

As expected, Chucky was peppered at his Monday morning press conference with questions about Jeff Garcia’s future in Tampa Bay. Amazingly, Gruden was hit with more questions about Garcia’s ’09 plans than his own.

Gruden’s response was quick and confident, “We want Jeff back,” Gruden said. “Jeff’ll have an opportunity to come back, I’m sure.”

Subsequently, Chucky was asked  – in a roundabout way – whether Garcia would be his starting quarterback for next season, and Gruden dodged the questions by talking about Garcia’s greatness and said he would be looking for the best available players for the Bucs. (Translation: Garcia is his QB, until another savvy veteran hits the market, if at all.)

Following Sunday’s Raiders-Bucs game, Garcia told the Buccaneers Radio Network that he wanted to return to Tampa Bay. Now, Gruden is saying, “We want Jeff back.”

Joe believes Garcia definitely will sign another contract with the Bucs, if Gruden remains at head coach.

Garcia is smart enough to know his next contract is his final payday. And, frankly, his options to become a starting quarterback on a new team are very few, if any. He’ll be 39 years old in February, and he’s no Brett Favre.

Whitley: Time For Chucky To Go

December 29th, 2008
David Whitley of the Orlando Sentinel makes a strong case for Chucky to be collecting a paycheck elsewhere next season.

David Whitley of the Orlando Sentinel makes a strong case for Chucky to be collecting a paycheck elsewhere next season.

To this day, Joe mourns the fact David Whitley left the Tampa Tribune for the Orlando Sentinel. Whitley is an absolute dynamite writer but Joe still can’t understand what Orlando has over Tampa other than nightmarish traffic.

There’s no NFL, no MLB, no NHL. Yeah, there’s the NBA, which begs the question: What was Whitley smoking?

Anyway, thanks to Al Gore’s invention, one with a modem living in virtually any corner of the globe can read anyone’s copy.

Whitley absolutely takes apart Chucky and makes the strongest case (yet) Joe has read for showing Chucky the exit door.

As owners, the Glazers have to be questioning if this Chucky thing deserves another sequel. The Bucs have gone 7-9, 5-11, 11-5, 4-12, 9-7 and 9-7 since winning the Super Bowl.

And this year’s 9-7 feels more like 9-70 after Sunday. Every year it’s a patchwork offense and Kiffin’s defense.

Now Kiffin is gone, though the way the defense played recently that might not be a bad thing. Gruden will again be holding mass auditions at quarterback. Who knows if it’ll be Donovan McNabb or Kurt Warner or Brett Favre’s tractor mechanic taking snaps in ’09?

With Gruden’s offense, the only consistent thing has been a lack of consistency. Even if they think the bailing wire will work next season, the Glazers must consider how the Bucs have always staggered home.

It will be interesting to see how the Glazer Boys handle this. But it’s starting to get to Joe that he’s starting to read (again from various reporters including Whitley’s recent piece) what an absolute football genius this Father Dungy was and… wwwwhhhaaaa! He was fired! Wwwwhhhhaaaa!

It’s becoming obvious that many MSMers still haven’t gotten over the fact Father Dungy was fired, some seven years after the fact.

Newsflash: Father Dungy failed to win the big ones here. At least Chucky was able to win a Super Bowl. Whether Chucky gets fired or not, the Bucs struggles lately under Chucky do not, nor should not, disguise the fact Father Dungy was a failure here and if he didn’t have a built-in Hall of Fame quarterback and receiver along with a highly intelligent offensive coordinator in Indianapolis, the lone piece of bling Father Dungy would still have on his hands would be his wedding ring.

Yes, Father Dungy was fired for lesser offenses than Chucky. But Father Dungy still hasn’t cured cancer.

Total Team Blame

December 29th, 2008

Justin Pawlowski, host of the highly intelligent “The Blitz” aired on Saturdays from noon-3 p.m. on WDAE 620-AM, has a new column up on his webpage where he pulls no punches.

Just like a high school football coach who grossly overuses the cliche “total team effort” (as if third string kids sitting on the bench who never step on the field made a significant play during a game), Pawlowski considers the Bucs historic franchise tank job a total team effort.

Pawlowski points a finger at just about everyone from the Glazer Boys all the way down to the players. And he suggests if the Glazer Boys can Chucky, then there needs to be a complete house-cleaning.

As for Gruden, if you do fire him, I think it might be time for everyone to follow him. Just start from scratch. When you start, get a head coach who will be a head coach. This bullsh** that the head coach can’t touch the defense is stupid. He’s the F***ing head coach!!! He is responsible for the ENTIRE team. If you fire Gruden, you MUST bring in a leader who will be a head coach and not a glorified coordinator with added responsibilities. He can then bring in his own coordinators and assistants.

Joe doesn’t disagree with Justin. There isn’t one person to blame, but a whole lot of blame to go around. It takes more than one or two players for a team to choke its last four games resulting in missing the playoffs.

THE PESSIMIST: Stop The Kiffin Blame Game!

December 29th, 2008
The Pessimist has had it with people blaming Monte Kiffin for the Bucs December tank job.

THE PESSIMIST has had it with people blaming Monte Kiffin for the Bucs December tank job.

THE PESSIMIST has had his morning coffee. Combined with Chucky’s month-long tank job, THE PESSIMIST is ready to rock.

Fasten your seatbelts.

The next time THE PESSIMIST hears some parrot walk up to him squawking about how the defense quit because the defensive coordinator (Kiffin) quit, THE PESSIMIST is going to take a baseball bat to him.

Or lock him in a closet and force him to listen to a non-stop loop of those overaged, unemployed yenta chicken wing waitresses that pollute the local airwaves. Shame on Les Moonves!

To those who regurgitate this nonsense about how the defense laid down because Monte Kiffin left for Tennessee need to clam up because each time they open their mouths they prove their ignorance of football, or are too lazy to do the simplest research that even a moron like the former self-admitted steroid abuser could do.

If this premise is to be believed, that Kiffin is the root cause of the defense falling apart in December, then someone, anyone, feel free to explain to THE PESSIMIST why the defense coughed up 384 yards to the putrid Chiefs the first week of November? The Chiefs!

Or explain how about the vaunted Bucs defense spotted the NFL record-setting, historic worst team, the Lions, 10 points in the first quarter? The Lions of all teams! Detroit’s rookie running back Kevin Smith had 86 yards rushing in a game where the Kittens had to pass to catch up in the second half.

Sound familiar?

What, did Lions offensive coordinator Jim Colletto suddenly go from abject moron to Bill Walsh? Colletto is such a miserable offensive mind — keyword: offensive — that he had one of the worst offenses in recent Big Ten history when he coached Purdue. Can you imagine?

Yet so many empty heads throughout the country much less locally are jumping up and down that Kiffin has Pearl Harbored the Bucs.

Indeed!

So the Bucs losing their starting defensive tackles against Carolina, replaced by a couple of Chiefs castoffs (repeat that phrase a couple of times for it to sink in) had nothing to do with the defensive collapse? So Derrick Brooks playing with more injuries than THE PESSIMIST can count on one hand had nothing to do with the defensive collapse? So starting safety Jermaine Phillips being lost for the season with a broken arm had nothing to do with the defensive collapse? So (over the hill?) Ronde Barber getting burned more than microwave popcorn wasn’t a problem?

Please!

So then explain to THE PESSIMIST, anyone, how the Bucs defense had solid outings after Joe reported in mid-October Kiffin was sniffing around for a possible college job? Anyone? Bueller?

The next time someone tells THE PESSIMIST to his face that Kiffin is the reason the Bucs aren’t in the playoffs, you may read about THE PESSIMIST in tomorrow morning’s 19th-Century version of news delivery.

Then again, maybe the fishwraps are no longer in the business of reporting (alleged) assaults?

Bucs 2009 Opponents

December 29th, 2008

Sure, Joe is digusted with Sunday’s loss. Absolutely disgusted. But that doesn’t mean Joe isn’t looking ahead to next season, even though Joe doesn’t know who the quarterback or even the head coach will be.

So, courtesy of TBO.com, here are the Bucs opponents for the 2009 season.

Road games- Atlanta, Carolina, New Orleans, Philadelphia, Washington, Buffalo, Miami and Seattle. Home games – Atlanta, Carolina, New Orleans, Dallass, New York Giants, New York Jets, New England (in London), Green Bay.

It’s a brutal schedule, but one that will make the Glazers happy because of its high profile home games. With non-division home games against four extremely popular teams – Dallas, both New York clubs and Green Bay – that represents at least four sellouts regardless of the Bucs’ record.

Questions Surround Signing Bryant In Offseason

December 29th, 2008
Joe knows first-hand how hard Antonio Bryant takes a loss. The Bucs might have to use their franchise tag for Bryant to ensure his return in 2009.

Joe knows first-hand how hard Antonio Bryant takes a loss. The Bucs might have to use their franchise tag for Bryant to ensure his return in 2009.

He was the engine of the Bucs offense, the sixth-leading receiver in the NFC, and now Antonio Bryant is ready to cash in his winning Lotto ticket.

Sitting on a 2008 season that saw him catch 83 balls for 1,248 yards, Bryant is a 27-year-old free agent who proved durable, reliable, dangerous and trouble-free, after sitting home unwanted in 2007.

Joe spent a lot of time after Sunday’s miserable loss trying to figure out why Bryant would want to return to Tampa Bay next season. Joe couldn’t come up with many compelling reasons.

First, Bryant is going to want to know who his quarterback will be, as well as his head coach. And the latter will be especially important to Bryant considering the troubles he’s had with coaches at his previous stops in Dallas, San Francisco and Cleveland.

Bryant told Joe he likes Jeff Garcia. If Garcia, also a free agent, parts with the Bucs, will that be a factor for Bryant? If the Glazers replace Gruden, will that turn off Bryant?

Second, Bryant will tell you, “I’m a very sore loser.” After the Bucs loss to the Chargers, he was the last player in the Bucs locker room to take off his uniform. After Sunday’s loss to the Raiders, Bryant sat alone at midfield. The guy wants to win. And Joe questions whether he would want to play for a Bucs team that was rebuilding its offense to compete with the offensive monsters in the NFC South, or jump to a true contender.

The Bucs might have to slap their franchise player tag on Bryant to keep him in Pewter and Red. Given the Bucs’ many other needs to address in the draft and the free agent market – running back and defensive linemen at the top of the list – the expensive option of making Bryant a franchise player could be the wise move, and the only way to keep him in Tampa.

CBSSports.com Looks At Bucs Loss To Raiders

December 29th, 2008

If one has a strong stomach, then this video is for you. Kevin Harlan and Rich Gannon of CBSSports.com look back at the Bucs horrid loss to the Raiders.


Watch CBS Videos Online

Gruden’s 2009 Sales Pitch To The Glazers

December 29th, 2008
"Don't worry Jeff. I'm telling the Glazers I want you back. Anything else will make me look to flaky, like I'm not confident in what we've done on offense these past two years."

"Don't worry Jeff. I'm telling the Glazers I want you back. Anything else will make me look flaky, like I'm not confident in what we've done on offense these past two years."

Jon Gruden wants to return as Bucs coach more than you’d like see to a Bucs pass rush and Carmella Garcia  naked at your front door demanding a sponge bath.

And know this about Chucky, he is a slick, skillful salesperson, a spin king who will masterfully accentuate the greatness of his work, gloss over the struggles, humbly blame himself and many factors beyond his control, and focus the Glazer family on why he can lead the Bucs to the division title in 2009.

Here’s how Chucky will lay out his spin for the Glazers, in hopes of one more dance in 2009:

1) Major Injuries/issues in the running game. Chucky will lean hard on this one.

“You got run the football consistently, man. That’s December football, where we struggled. Our Pro Bowl fullback B.J. Askew went down for weeks to start the season, then we lost Storer and had to sign Jameel Cook off the street and ask our No. 1 tailback Earnest Graham to fill in. Then we lose Graham, and Warrick Dunn never really recovered from his midseason back/neck injury, and Cadillac Williams needed a month to get ready after his miracle comeback. You saw how strong he was getting against the Raiders heading to the playoffs, but got hurt after his second touchdown run. Plus, we had to cut Michael Bennett after that whole IHOP incident that we kept pretty quiet.” 

2) Major injuries/quarterback. Chucky will point to his division rivals and others in the NFC. He LOVES to take a look around the league to garner sympathy.

“Hey, you look Atlanta and Carolina, they both were blessed with health at quarterback all season long. Same goes for Philly and New York and Arizona. That’s five of six playoff teams, man. That’s how you build offensive consistency in this league. It’s no secret. Minnesota made changes at QB looking for a spark, but they’ve got Superman running the ball, which makes a big difference. We lost Garcia for five games, and he didn’t have his best stuff for the last two.”

3) Monte Kiffin blew it. Yes, Chucky will sell out Kiffin big time. Monte is a prime and easy target after the run defense completely collapsed and the pass rush stayed invisible during the final four games. And, of course, Chucky will point to a sound offensive performance in December, when Garcia was healthy.

“Hey, I’m the head coach. So I accept responsibility for this team running out of gas. But I have to throw some of that on Monte. His guys, for whatever reason, quit tackling and battling hard in December. Maybe Monte got a little soft on them in December. I don’t know, man. I wish I did. I maybe should have supervised Monte a bit more. But I had no reason not to trust him. They had their share of injuries, too. But I tell you, Raheem Morris, I hired that kid years ago, and he’s a real NFL star who is ready to shine. I like the way we work together.”

4) Remember 2007 and 2005. Chucky will focus the Glazers on his lightning-quick turnaround of the team from the Gradkowski-Simms debacle of 2006, to the division title in 2007. And he won’t let them forget about how a healthy running back (Cadillac Williams) put the team back in the playoffs in 2005. He’ll talk about why it will happen again in 2009, and it will be easier.

“For 2009, Bill Muir and I already groomed and built the league’s youngest and most promising offensive line. It’s the envy of the NFL, really. When we can put some healthy running backs behind them, like Earnest Graham and whatever stud we can get from free agency or the draft, we’re looking at another 1,000-yard rusher like Caddy in 2005. And we all know how a running game makes our quarterbacks and receivers shine.”

5) Here’s where Gruden goes to bat hard for Jeff Garcia. Yes, Jeff Garcia. Chucky needs to convince the Glazers that Garcia is a perfect fit in Tampa, and the two of them have had a spiritual and football breakthrough, as evidenced by the team’s offensive improvement in December. Chucky just can’t risk demanding a new quarterback. Chucky knows that would make him look too flaky and incompetent. …And in the same breath, Gruden will remind the Glazers how incredible rookie fourth-string QB Josh Johnson progressed this season. Remember, Gruden just last week, told the Oakland media how Johnson is a star in the making and how he just needs a little more time in Chucky’s laboratory to develop.

“We’re set at quarterback, as far as I’m concerned. Jeff Garcia is a winner, a Pro Bowler, and he’s got more left in the tank than a lot of guys five or six years younger than him. He’s found success in this system. And I see him in another Pro Bowl in 2009, when we put some more weapons around him. Hey, man, in a division with Drew Brees, Jake Delhomme and Matt Ryan, you need an all-star like Garcia to keep pace.”

6) Antonio Bryant. Gruden will take credit for securing the Glazers a true No. 1 receiver at a bargain price. The trumpets will sound loudly on this one, so the Glazers feel the potential pain of losing their bargain-hunter-in-chief.

“I’m very proud of Antonio and his evolution into a premier receiver in the NFL. I give him all the credit, but at the same time, I saw in him what many others didn’t. His second year in this offense is going to excite our fans.

7) Clifton Smith. The rookie, Pro Bowl return man will serve as another prime example for Gruden to talk about his player development ability and how he can find great value on the street when it comes to grabbing hidden gems. 

“I’m so pround of Clifton. We worked hard with him to get over his fumbling problems, showed him a lot of faith where other coaches might have sat him down. Smith turns around and makes us look pretty smart. He’s a star in the league now. And we expect him to contribute big things in the backfield for us next year as a situational back.”

8) Show extreme confidence in the Bucs offense. This is where Gruden talks about adding major pieces to the puzzle on defense, thereby taking more shots at Kiffin and praising new defensive coordinator Raheem Morris – his hire – at the same time. Gruden will tell the Glazers that the defensive line is the team’s weakness, maybe even urging them to sign Carolina free agent Julius Peppers to change the balance of power in the NFC South, and to go after a young run-stuffing monster for the D-Line. Gruden will stress that an improved D-line will change the entire team. Again, this all takes the focus off the Gruden’s offense, which he knows can’t handle the scrutiny.

9) More piling on Monte Kiffin. Key for Gruden is the last two games against the Chargers and Raiders. No doubt he’ll remind the Glazers how the offense led the team to fourth-quarter leads in both games. Chucky could be nominated for an Academy Award for expressing just how close this 2008 team was to a great season.

10) Lastly, Chucky’s 2007 contract extension likely came with Chucky expressing his plan for the Bucs future. Now what did he say back then? That answer likely will be key for the Glazers decision on whether Chucky returns in 2009, Year 2 of his current contract. After last season, more than likely, Chucky told the Glazers he was positioning the Bucs to improve at all positions for the future, while still competing for the title in 2008. To Justify his ’08 performance, Chucky can point to Bryant, Smith (versus Dexter Jackson), Garcia, Johnson and the offensive line development, including drafting of Jeramy Zuttah. On defense, he’ll look at Jermaine Phillips’ evolution, and growth by Sabby Piscitelli and Aqib Talib, along with alleged progression by Gaines Adams, and most important, the grooming of soon-to-be defensive coordinator Raheem Morris, for which Gruden will take plenty of credit.

Joe wonders whether this is all enough for Chucky to convince the Glazers not to overhaul the team with a new head coach. Right now, Joe thinks Gruden returns for 2009. But that could change in a heartbeat if the Glazers think they have a good shot at Bill Cowher or their first and truest love, Bill Parcells, the guy who jilted them twice.

One Raiderfan Not Happy With Bucs Loss

December 29th, 2008

Seems as though one Raiderfan had a bad day at the Bucs loss to the Raiders at the CITS yesterday.

Consider the email sent to the good people of Deadspin.com from a Raiderfan, from New Jersey no less, who was tossed from the CITS.

I had a very negative experience at Raymond James Stadium while attempting to attend the Buccaneers/Raider NFL football game. My day started poorly as I was forced to go to three different entrance gates because I was “wearing the wrong colors” before I could obtain admittance with my ticket to the game.

The game went without incident up until the first score of the game by the Raiders. I stood in celebration, and before the extra point was even kicked, I was being led away by stadium personnel. Once out of the stands, I was placed in handcuffs, although I was not resisting the stadium personnel’s requests, or read my rights and placed under arrest. I was lead to a single person holding cell where my possessions were removed, and I was subjected to a full body frisking. After being detained for roughly 30 minutes, I was released outside of the stadium, and informed that I could not return to the stadium.

Joe finds it vvvveeeerrrryyyy difficult to believe a Raiderfan from Jersey would be the model of etiquette and sportsmanship, especially at a place which served alcohol.

Joe is of the mind that if you wear the opposing team’s gear to an away game, you better be quiet as a church mouse and as polite as a little old nun. Otherwise, you pretty much get what you deserve.

Sure, Joe has gone to stadiums where he wore gear of the visiting team. But Joe was smart enough to keep his mouth shut and not stand up and cheer (with the exception of wearing Cardinals gear to Wrigley Field which, if anyone has ever gone to a Cardinals-Cubs game in Chicago or St. Louis, knows that’s no big deal). To act otherwise, you are begging for trouble.

Especially if you are Raiderfan.

Not A Complete Loss Sunday

December 29th, 2008
The 1976 Bucs can no longer be considered the NFLs worst thanks to former Bucs defensive line coach Rod Marinelli and his 0-16 Detroit Lions.

The 1976 Bucs can no longer be considered the NFL's worst thanks to former Bucs defensive line coach Rod Marinelli and his 0-16 Detroit Lions.

Maybe lost in the dreadful Bucs choke job is the fact that the Bucs franchise can never again hold the tag as the NFL’s worst team. With the Lions losing to the Packers today, the Lions went winless, 0-16.

The first team go lose all 16 regular season games.

One former Bucs player who played for the 1976 Bucs, which went 0-14, is glad of it. In a story posted two days ago on NFL.com, former Bucs defensive end Pat Toomay is pleased to see a group other than him and his Bucs teammates be mocked for eternity.

“The luster wears off,” said Toomay, a defensive end on the expansion team that was shut out five times and outscored 412-125 in the franchise’s inaugural season.

“I would like the torch to be passed,” he added. “At the same time, you don’t want to wish that on anybody.”

One could argue the Bucs were worse than the Lions, but the Bucs that season were an expansion team in a time where there was no free agency and expansion teams only had the rookies they drafted or signed, and castoffs from other teams.

One can’t say that about the 2008 Lions, which was full of high draft picks and free agents.

In short, the Lions were absolutely dreadful. How Rod Marinelli is still employed is beyond Joe.