THE PESSIMIST: Crybaby Clayton All But Seals Exit

December 29th, 2008
THE PESSIMIST has found a rare photo of Michael Clayton in possession of the football. This image happens slightly more often than an appearance of the Comet Kohoutek.

THE PESSIMIST has found a rare photo of Michael Clayton in possession of the football. This image happens slightly more often than an appearance of the Comet Kohoutek.

Much was made of wide receiver Michael Clayton’s first touchdown reception of 2008 yesterday — first of the season… in the last game of the season. But THE PESSIMIST was beyond shocked to learn, thanks to Stephen Holder of the St. Petersburg Times, the touchdown was only Clayton’s second touchdown in four seasons.

For catching one touchdown pass this season, Hands of Stone Clayton pocketed a cool figure of $2,055,280 if the USA Today NFL player salary datebase is to be trusted.

Of course, Clayton continued his whining that he began last week about not being utilized properly.

“I’ve never doubted my ability to get in the end zone. I’ve always been a guy to play my hardest, and I try to take advantage of that opportunity. Today, I was given that opportunity.”

Hey Mike, how was that “opportunity” you had to convert a critical fourth down play from the Raiders-33 midway through the fourth quarter? You know, the one where you had both hands on the ball? Oh, that’s right, you dropped it! I guess it’s a good thing you have selective amnesia, huh?

THE PESSIMIST agrees with Joe: One can find all sorts of bouncers and truck drivers who can block and run good routes. But a wide receiver also has to be able catch the ball once in a blue moon.

THE PESSIMIST has noticed that Ike Hilliard doesn’t get a whole lot of opportunities yet he’s able to haul the damned ball in. Antonio Bryant missed a year of football and started the season as a reserve yet he was able to catch the damned ball.

THE PESSIMIST was a big supporter of Clayton when he was drafted by the Bucs when 99 percent of Bucs fans were screaming bloody murder. Sadly, his detractors were quickly proven to be correct.

Don’t let the door at One Buc Palace hit you in the rear end on your way out, Clayton. Unless, of course, you play for the league minimum. Guys who average two touchdowns every four years shouldn’t be pulling in seven figures a year.

Players who pull millions to catch two touchdowns in four years generally move on to pulling money away from senile senior citizens in aluminum siding telemarketing scams.

 
 

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