"Hey, De. I just can't stop thinking about that lap dance we got last night. I think the brunette really liked me. I hear you, hatchetman. She was looking for more than tickets."

Joe is so annoyed by the asinine lockout, it can’t be put into words. And that’s why Joe rarely writes about it. It’s big-time annoying and boring, and Joe has to believe most of his readers feel the same way.

But since Joe’s inbox is full today with readers telling Joe the owners approved a new labor agreement that now sits in the hands of the in-no-hurry players — some writing as if Joe didn’t know — Joe will give his brief two cents.

As much as Joe wants training camp to start, Joe sincerely hopes the players take their time scrutinizing the new CBA and peppering their team representatives with questions about it before they vote to approve it. It should take them at least a three or four days.

This ain’t Washington D.C., where it’s expected that elected officials will vote on life-changing legislation wihout bothering to read what’s in it.

Joe’s heard many a fan call players idiots for making bad investment decisions, using sweeping generalizations about guys who flushed money down the toilet and went broke because they didn’t take the time to figure out what they were getting into.

Joe suspects the players’ leadership won’t let that happen. And fans shouldn’t rip the players for being thorough, and good role models for Congress.

The fortunate few at BSPN are not chasing suits on the streets of Atlanta in recent days — is there anything more boring than TV shots of suits walking down a sidewalk? Well, not quite as boring as poker on TV, but close. Poor Albert Breer.

The fortunate few at BSPN have put their heads together to come up with the future most dominant team in the NFL. No. 1 is the Packers. You may be surprised which team is No. 2.

The Bucs.

There were several panelists who voted on this and former NFL quarterback Tim Hasselbeck, who has a hot yet annoying wife, believes the Bucs will be the dominant NFL team in a short time.

Tim Hasselbeck, ESPN NFL analyst: The Packers were dominant in the postseason this past year and most people believe that they can be dominant for the next three years. But if we are looking at 2014-2016, then we need to find the next Green Bay Packers. The Tampa Bay Bucs look like they could be that team. They have an absolute stud at QB, great talent at the skill positions and they have invested high picks on the defensive line in hopes to be dominant on that side of the ball. Sounds a little bit like how the Packers were built.
THE PICK: Tampa Bay Bucs

Joe is inclined to believe this, but the NFL is about to be a whole new league. With this new CBA in place, it changes quite a bit on the NFL landscape. It will be very interesting to see how the NFL, and the Bucs, shake out.

Transitioning from the field to the front office as a talent evaluator ain’t that easy. Even the great Derrick Brooks had his share of challenges in that area when he took over the Tampa Bay Storm this year.

Joe found that claim to be an interesting nugget, as Brooks explained on The Dan Sileo Show on WDAE-AM 620 Monday. Brooks painted a picture of himself in a foreign role despite years of experience watching film.

“When I first started [evaluating players on tape], I was studying as if I was in a player’s perspective,” Brooks said. “It’s a different style of watching type. I had to call on trusted guns of mine in the past. I had to ask for some more expertise from the likes of Bruce Allen, Coach Dungy, Lovie Smith, Jon Gruden, even Rich Bisaccia. He’s been a big help to me as far as how do I set that up and what is my evaluation system as I move forward. I get better at that every day.”

Bruce Allen? Joe sure hopes Bruce Almighty was helping No. 55 in the system aspect of evaluation, rather than anything to do with the action on the field.

One reason Joe found Brooks’ comments particularly interesting is because of the disagreement and fury surrounding the evaluation of Barrett Ruud’s value. How Mark Dominik and Raheem Morris perceive and assess Ruud’s value is likely to be very different from players’ and fans’ takes.

The Bucs were a horribly blown call away from the playoffs last year, losing out to the eventual Super Bowl champions on a tiebreakers.

While he doesn’t compare his team to the Packers, Josh Freeman is fond of pointing out the Bucs were tied with the champs at the end of the regular season.

Despite the blown call, others could point to two losses that shouldn’t have been to the Dixie Chicks last season. Per Eliot Harrison of NFL.com, the Dixie Chicks had better watch out this season.

Bucs fans have had to live all offseason with the memory of two very-hard-to-swallow home losses: Week 13 against the Falcons and Week 15 against the Lions. Both games should have belonged to Tampa Bay. This team could have finished 12-4, or at least 11-5, and bounced the Packers out of playoff contention. Much of the success was due to the Tampa triplets — second-year quarterback Josh Freeman (25 touchdowns, six interceptions), rookie running back LeGarrette Blount (1,007 yards, 5.0 yards per carry) and rookie wideout Mike Williams (964 yards, 11 touchdowns).

Harrison goes on to dare any NFL fan to name three better young triples on any team than Freeman, Williams and Blount.

Joe sure can’t come up with any.

Flying solo on the popular Ron and Ian Show on WDAE-AM 620 yesterday, former Bucs guard Ian Beckles did his best to tell every listener from Tallahassee to Orlando and down to Charlotte County that Barrett Ruud is softer than soft.

The three-hour show felt at times like a Ruud special.

In a classic interchange with a caller who started saying Ruud is no Ray Lewis or Brian Urlacher in his physicality, Beckles immediately cut off the caller to implore him to “start from the bottom,” not from the top with the superstar linebackers when making comparisons to Ruud.

Beckles called Ruud “the least physical linebacker in the league.” He went on to say Ruud is actually a step below the least physical linebackers at his position, and Beckles longed not for legendary linebackers of Bucs past, but simply for a guy like his former teammate Ervin Randle, who had an nondescript career with the Bucs from 1985-1990.

“I just want an aggressive middle linebacker. It’s not rocket science,” Beckles barked. “You can’t jump around a block. … Stick your head in the hole. …Stop running backwards.”

Beckles continued to beg anyone to sit down and watch film with him to show him why Ruud is a good middle linebacker. And Beckles repeated that none of the people connected to the Bucs he has spoken to privately has ever disagreed with him about Ruud.

As Joe has written before, we’re all going to find out real soon what Mark Dominik and his colleagues around the NFL think about No. 51.

"Prove yourself, old man."

Bucs beat writer Rick Stroud’s crystal ball may need new batteries following his bold Aqib Talib prognostications, however, Stroud didn’t hesitate to gaze into it and channel its energy today.

During a TampaBay.com live chat, Stroud obliged a commenter that asked him to go on the record with a prediction.

Comment From JerryJerry:  Hello Rick- Can you predict our starting O-Line?

Rick Stroud: Hey Jerry,
Right now I think it’s going to be very similar to last season: LT Penn, LG Zuttah, C Faine, RG Joseph, RT Lee.

Interesting. Joe would be surprised to see Jeremy Zuttah start over Ted Larsen at left guard. However, Joe would hope Zuttah would be given a fair shake to beat out Jeff Faine at center. If so, Joe believes Zuttah will earn the nod.

The early odds at right tackle sure seem to be a toss-up, if Jeremy Trueblood returns.

The massive competition along the O-line can only be good. Joe can’t wait to see who lines up there to open the first preseason game. The Bucs are already ahead of last year without Keydrick Vincent.

Who knew Barrett Ruud was a run-stuffer?

Well, that’s what sound analyst and former NFL head coach Brian Billick wants fans to believe. Billick penned rankings and breakdowns of his top linebackers available in free agency for FoxSports.com and Ruud checked in at No. 7. Quincy Black didn’t make the list.

7. Barrett Ruud: ILB, Tampa Bay

Ruud is best as a traditional 4-3 middle linebacker and is most effective against the run. He has led the Buccaneers in tackles the past four seasons, with 511 during that span.

Potential landing spots: New York Giants, Tampa Bay

Tampa Bay passed up the opportunity to sign Ruud to a long–term deal last offseason, opting instead to re-sign offensive lineman Donald Penn. Ruud responded by totaling 118 tackles, two sacks and one interception. Even with his steady play, some question his ability in coverage and that may minimize his importance in the Buccaneers’ Tampa 2 defense. That leaves the door open for the New York Giants to add Ruud to an already good defense. The Giants were the seventh-best defense in the entire league and led the NFL in regards to stopping/gaining explosive plays.

Now there’s a twist: Ruud’s stronger against the run than in coverage. Joe’s never seen such varying assessments of a player with so much time logged in the NFL.

It seems in a matter of hours, Bucs fans will find out what Mark Dominik thinks of Mr. Ruud. Regardless, there will be outrage among many Bucs fans.

In a chat with Donald Penn for TBO.com, esteemed NFL writer eye-RAH! Kaufman coaxed a bold prediction from the big fella: The Bucs are headed for the Super Bowl.

Soon.

Buoyed by last year’s 10-6 record, Penn said he’s anxious to get back with his teammates and compete for Tampa Bay’s first playoff berth since the 2007 season.

“My message for our fans is to hold on, we’re going to put on a show,” said Penn. “Josh Freeman will be leading us to a Super Bowl soon. He’s a beast.”

Remember, Mike Williams guaranteed the playoffs for the 2011 season. But with all the inexperience along the defensive line, Joe can’t imagine the Bucs’ brass has 2011 circled as its Super Bowl year.

But why the hell not? Joe’s with Penn.

It seems many Bucs fans are in a lather for the flavor of the year.

Last year, Bucs fans were jumping up and down over malcontent wide receiver Brandon Marshall being signed as a free agent. Not only did Bucs rock star general manager Mark Dominik pass on Marshall, he also passed on a much better talent, Santonio Holmes, passed on him twice in fact.

Now, this offseason, it seems the same Bucs fans are banging the drum — loudly — for Oakland Raiders cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha who, from the way these same Bucs fans talk about him, is the second coming of Ronnie Lott and Deion Sanders all rolled into one.

Speaking on WHBO-AM 1040 yesterday afternoon with co-hosts Ronnie Lane and Tom Krasniqi, Bucs outside linebacker Geno Hayes not only shrugged his shoulders at the thought of the Bucs acquiring Asomugha, but Hayes stopped just short of saying it won’t happen.

After being asked by Krasniqi if Hayes has read Bucs fans Twittering over Asomaugha as if he is Kate Upton, Hayes admitted he did but was not moved.

“My opinion, the Bucs should do what they need to do. The Bucs are well-known for wanting what they want. You don’t need a guy like [Asomugha]. The Bucs are about building in-house.

“Mark Dominik and Rah, those guys are about building guys up. Right now we have a couple of young guys that I have very good confidence in.”

Hayes went on to say in the defense the Bucs play under Raheem Morris, a corner like Asomugha is more luxury than necessity.

Look, if the Bucs were just one dominant corner away from a Super Bowl berth, Joe would be all for this move. But the Bucs have much greater needs than to overpay players in an area of strength and depth.

Hayes himself isn’t exactly irreplaceable nor should Quincy Black be. Joe also would like to see another defensive tackle, as it’s pretty clear Brian Price won’t be playing this year and he may never play with screws in his pelvis. A few more big uglies on the offensive line wouldn’t hurt either.

Joe heard Shaun King yesterday on WQYK-AM 1010 mock his co-host and devout Asomugha proponent Toby David, saying the only reason David was in near tears over Asomugha is that David just wants to buy a jersey.

King, correctly, suggested Holmes, a proven clutch player and also a free agent, would have a much bigger impact on the Bucs than Asomugha.

Now Joe is no Jim Rome fan. Joe was intrigued when Rome first arrived on Tampa Bay airwaves in the 1990s on the old 1040 AM “The Score” back in ’95 or ’96, but his shtick got very old many years ago for Joe.

Regardless, Rome now hosts powerful national radio and television shows that surely have their pick of guests. So it was eye-opening to Joe that Rome returned from a long summer vacation yesterday and chose Josh Freeman to be a guest on his Rome Is Burning TV show on BSPN.

Freeman?

Maybe there’s more respect out there for the Bucs and Freeman than Joe thinks. Given the lockout, that’s not the Bucs PR staff booking Freeman and hounding show producers. That’s Rome and his team busting off a text or phone call to Freeman.

Freeman didn’t offer anything earth-shattering during the interview. He said he thinks the offense is sharp and hasn’t missed a beat without OTAs and a traditional minicamp, saying guys were very sharp on the playbook in Bradenton. 

Asked about the defense, Freeman praised Aqib Talib for working with receivers in the offseason in Tampa — hmm, Joe read somewhere that Talib left town — plus Gerald McCoy and Tyrone McKenzie’s training efforts. And Freeman liked what he saw overall.

“Our defense looked good, man. They were actually throwing some stuff in our minicamp as far as pressures, stuff we wouldn’t normally see. I’m like, ‘C’mon guys, this is just supposed to be laid back, supposed to be just kind of going through some of the base schemes and gettin’ a good feel and get out there and run around as a team.’

“They’re throwing corner blitzes and double-corner blitzes and just crazy stunts and stuff.”

Freeman’s clearly raring to go when the asinine lockout ends. Joe can only wonder how much more national media will come calling if the Bucs land Freeman another toy or two in free agency and he puts up video game numbers.

There was a silver lining to this asinine lockout that continues to drag on… and on… and on…

The longer this asinine lockout lasted, for every day it stretched, it was one day closer to the Aug. 1 deadline that would render the Bucs playing a “home” game in London moot.

It’s T-minus 13 days to hit the deadline. But the NFL doesn’t believe that will happen.

Per creator, curator and overall guru of ProFootballTalk.com, Mike Florio, he received word that the NFL’s office in London is telling all the soccer hooligans (Joe has never been to London. Shoot, he’s never been to Europe, for that matter Joe has never had a passport — hell, he’s never even been to New York. Yet Sunday while trying to enjoy a cold adult beverage while watching the Pirates-Astros, Joe felt as if he was in some foreign land with people watching kickball instead. In America no less! The last time Joe felt this out of place, he was at Innisbrook.)  they can instead watch real football.

(Clarification: Joe is not a soccer hater. Hardly. Joe just finds it demoralizing anyone would watch soccer over a good baseball game.)

In short, that means the Bucs and a handful of fans better pack their bags for London this October.

“Negotiating teams from the NFL owners and players will resume talks aimed at getting a new Collective Bargaining Agreement agreed, which would end the four-month labour dispute and guarantee a fifth consecutive International Series game at Wembley Stadium… ”

Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher, despite knowing the Bucs would have a home field advantage playing at The CITS in October, has already moaned about playing in London.

Instead of the Bears sweating it out in October, they will have close to Bear weather in London.

So much for the home field advantage.

It’s a level playing field across the NFL when it comes to young players missing out on critical offseason development time.

The challenge/problem f0r the Bucs is the they have more young players than most, if not all teams. Bucs icon Derrick Brooks is concerned about the young Bucs, including Josh Freeman, so he explained on The Dan Sileo Show yesterday on WDAE-AM 620.

“Now that he’s a marked man, teams are going to wire in on him,” Brooks said of Freeman. “He’s the focal point of the offense. He was not coached from that second year to that third year. He missed out on that. How will he respond? He’s doing a great job, and I talk to Josh quite a bit, you know, from a leadership standpoint to make sure that he’s doing those things. But when it comes to those Xs and Os, you can not replace coaching.”

Who is Joe to argue with Brooks. And it is a sad truth many Bucs fans want to ignore: The young club, especially one relying on impact play from rookies and second-year guys on the defensive line, has lost a lot valuable coaching time.

However, Joe’s keeping a positive mindset. The Bucs open with the Lions who are extraordinarily young, as well. And Joe’s optimistic Raheem Morris will find a way to make up for lost time.

Bucs fans love Cadillac Williams, and for good reasons. Lesser men may have already been out of football after having one knee surgically rebuilt, much less two.

But Caddy has fought back from ugly injuries and sort of remade himself as a running back, certainly good enough to make an NFL roster.

But the beginning of last year showed Cadillac is no longer a go-to running back. The Bucs’ running attack was simply anemic until LeGarrette Blount burst upon the scene.

Settling into a third down/change-of-pace running back, Caddy excelled. It is for this reason that Caddy, now a free agent, is not “a top priority,” so says Super Bowl winning coach Brian Billick on FoxSports.com.

With the emergence of LeGarrette Blount, who was able to rush for a 5.0-yard average this season, the Buccaneers would be completely content with losing Williams via free agency. That’s not to say they wouldn’t like to have him back, but he definitely will not be a top priority once the signing period begins. The Rams need to add depth behind steady producer, Steven Jackson, and Williams will not demand a high price tag, which could make for the perfect storm in St. Louis.

In fact, teams in the NFL think so little of Caddy, that Billick believes there are only two teams interested in Caddy, the Bucs and the Rams.

If Caddy can be signed for the right price, Joe firmly believes Bucs rock star general manager Mark Dominik will re-sign him. But if Caddy’s agent tries to play Dominik in order to gain a payday from the Rams, well, let’s just say don’t be shocked if Caddy has already carried the ball for the last time with the Bucs.

Joe’s not on the Nnamdi Asomugha bandwagon like many other Bucs fans. Heck, a poll on this here site two weeks ago saw about 27 percent of readers claim Asomugha should be the Bucs’ No. 1 priority in free agency.

Keeping it simple, Joe believes the Bucs don’t need a cornerback, and they surely don’t need one at Asomugha’s projected $19 million price tag.

Former Bucs QB Shaun King offered a take yesterday on The King David Show on 1010 AM explaining, in part, why he has no interest in Asomugha for the Bucs.

“Worst thing you can do is pay a cornerback big money and he comes in and plays a Tampa 2,” King said.

His comments came on the heels of explaining the Bucs play “60-70 percent” Cover 2 defense at this point and Asomugha is a man-to-man specialist who hasn’t been in the Bucs’ kind of system. King added: you don’t build a defense around a cornerback.

Fans can keep dreaming. But Joe would much rather see the Bucs spend the money in other areas. Cornerback has to be a low priority.

Joe reads the comments and hears the sports radio chatter. Inevitably, when talk of the Bucs Ring of Honor comes up, left tackle Paul Gruber’s name shows up on a lot of fans’ short lists.

But former Bucs guard Ian Beckles, Gruber’s teammate in the 1990s, says Gruber is not Ring-worthy and the conversation about him should start and stop with Pro Bowl honors, so Beckles said today on the Ron and Ian Show on WDAE-AM 620.

“Whose Ring of Honor has guys in it who never made a Pro Bowl?” Beckles asked, after referring to Gruber never grabbing that honor in his 12 seasons.

Beckles went on to say the Ring should not be a nice guy competition and, if Gruber gets in, Beckles said, then Tony Mayberry has to be a lock to join him. Mayberry (1990-1999) was a Pro Bowl center in his final three seasons.

Joe’s not sold on Gruber or Mayberry, both excellent players and career Buccaneers. Plus, after the Bucs induct all the guys definitely worthy, if they continue to go one inductee per year, there should be a whole new generation of Bucs in the debate for a spot. Of course, that assumes the Raheem Morris era doesn’t crash and burn.

Joe apologizes up front if his readers do not think this is Bucs news, but it is sort of Bucs related.

We have the first casualty of the 2011 NFL season thanks to the asinine lockout. It is the annual HBO series “Hard Knocks,” which documents life in training camp for a specific team.

In answering a question from SI.com’s Jimmy Traina on Twitter, the Watchdog himself, media columnist Neil Best of Newsday, announced to Twitterverse that Hard Knocks is “dead” for this season.

@JimmyTraina: Dumb question for media people: If NFL lockout ends this week will/can HBO do ‘Hard Knocks’ or is it dead this season?

@sportswatch: Dead.

The reason why this is partially Bucs news is that, after lobbying HBO to be part of Hard Knocks, the Bucs were invited by HBO to be the subject for this season but pulled out.

Of the many reasons given was the Bucs wanted to concentrate on football without distractions, as the team would have a lot of time to make up with such a young roster thanks to the asinine lockout.

After the Bucs politely declined the offer, several NFL teams also passed, for many of the same reasons.

Now Joe hasn’t had HBO since the moment The Sopranos went dark. So it’s no hair off Joe’s behind if the Bucs were not on Hard Knocks, or for that matter that Hard Knocks is “dead” for this season. But the bummer is that the NFL Network always rebroadcasts these series later in the year.

Not this year.

Players are locked out, yet NFL commisioner/hatchetman Roger Goodell has longed claimed he’ll hold players accountable to the league conduct policy during the lockout. That means he’s crack down on alleged offenders whenever the labor mess ends.

It’s the NFL version of dumping your girlfriend and then getting mad her because she was naked in a hot tub with some dude the following night.

Months ago, after Aqib Talib was arrested, Joe talked to a Florida employment lawyer to see if such a move by the NFL could be legal. The attorney gave Joe so many annoying hypothetical scenarios, it was too much to sift through to present simply here. But the overall take from the attorney was that the league didn’t have a stong leg to stand on.

Lawyer and NFL guru Mike Florio, creator ProFootballTalk.com, dives into this point today. Florio, a master at boiling down the boring legal mess of the lockout, isn’t seeing how the NFL and the allegedly disbanded players association can get away with punishing players that stepped out of line since early March.

But we’ll have trouble understanding any understanding that allows the NFL to punish players for arrests occurring during the lockout.  Indeed, a decision by the NFLPA* to expose players retroactively to responsibility for violations of the personal conduct policy could open the door for a fairly potent lawsuit alleging breach of the duty of fair representation, which could open a fairly significant can of worms given that the labor deal will have been negotiated at a time when, technically, the NFLPA* has the power to represent no one.

Common sense applies to Florio’s take. How could the players (non) association negotiate punishments for its members when they’re not being represented? Then there’s still the matter of Goodell playing dictator when he’s closed the door on the players, who are currently without benefits and other terms of their employment.

Joe suspects the legal issues here all but seal that Talib’s situation won’t be addressed by the league until it’s resolved fully by the courts. After that happens, Goodell or the Bucs can always find some sort of loophole to punish Talib, if he doesn’t walk away cleanly from the charges.

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