The Kiss Of Death

September 7th, 2020

Bucs are doomed.

Joe can just see it now.

There is some kind of dinner for NFL big shots during the week of the Super Bowl at the Cuban Club in Ybor City. Both Peter King and Bruce Arians are mingling, cocktails in hand, as the band plays.

Arians, still stinging from a season that ended too short, spies King, then meanders through the crowd to greet him, hug him, grab him by the back of the neck and say, “I knew it was you, Peter. You broke my heart.

And then, Arians plants the kiss of death on King.

Because, basically, King, the hot-dog-eating-contest-protestingmock-draft-scowlingL.L. Bean-wearingSecond Amendment abolitionistMike-Florio-arguingparrot-insensitivechewing-with-his-mouth-opensoup-gulpingCalifornia-train-romancinganti-football proliferationouthouse-admiringairline-nappingsteerage-flyingYogi Berra-worshipingurinal-picture-takingvideo-game-playingTaylor-Swift-listeningpickpocket-thwartingBucs-uniform-frowningAllie-LaForce-smittenBig-Ten-Network-hatingpedestrian-bumpingolive oil-lappingpopcorn-munchingcoffee-slurpingfried-chicken-eatingoatmeal-lovingcircle-jerking, craft-beer-chugging, cricket-watchingscone-loathingcollege football-naïvebaseball-box-score-readingNPR-honkfilthy-hotel-stayingfight-instigatingbarista-trainingBudweiser-tolerantbaseball scorecard-keeping, pasta-feasting, vomit-dodging scrooge, Kay-Adams-following, social activist and NFL insider of NBC Sports, did just that this morning.

King picks the Bucs to beat the Crows in the Super Bowl at the Den of Depression.

Yes folks, that is the kiss of death for the Bucs.

Still, King comes up with a good argument. He is certain park-violating, home-invading, NFLPA-ignoring Bucs quarterback Tom Brady is not too old. And believes Brady will simply rip apart opposing defenses with all his new weapons.

Now King doesn’t have the Bucs winning the NFC South. He has the Bucs as a wild card and the Bucs beating the slimy Saints in the Superdome in the NFC title game in New Orleans.

And one reason King is a believer in the Bucs? YouKnowWho is not on the roster.

Jameis Winston threw 30 interceptions in 16 games last year. Brady has thrown 30 interceptions in his last 64 games. You can be pretty sure the Bucs’ turnover numbers—an astounding 41 giveaways—will be cut in half, or close to that, this year. A telling note about the 41 giveaways: The last team to have that many in a season was Cleveland, in 2017. The Browns went 0-16 that year. The Bucs won seven games while turning it over 2.6 times a game. So to put the ball in the hands of a caretaker who still is playing well should pay dividends. (Pro Football Focus metrics counter the common wisdom that Brady had a poor year in 2019, and point out his Patriot receiver group collectively had the worst season of any receiver in the 14 years PFF has been grading every snap of NFL games). His third tight end in Tampa, Cameron Brate, would have been a top-end starter in New England last year. Other than Julian Edelman, the Bucs have five weapons this year (Rob Gronkowski, O.J. Howard, Mike Evans, Chris Godwin and someone you will hear more about this year, smurfy and speedy Scotty Miller) better than any the Pats had in the passing game. The run game, with Ronald Jones and Leonard Fournette, will be at least as good as the one New England had last year. Plus, Brady has heard and filed away everything in the public view about him. Too old, washed up, can’t win without Belichick. “Everybody’s got an opinion about a lot of different things,” Brady told me in camp, and you could tell what he thinks about those opinions. “My opinion is the only one that matters to me. In the end, you can prove them wrong or prove them right.”

Joe is totally freaked out by this development. King is rarely accurate when it comes to his Super Bowl predictions. Maybe the law of averages catch up with King this year?

We can only hope.

Meanwhile, forget about King. Who’s ready for the season opener and who is ready to hit Big Storm Brewing to watch the game?

Football is almost here folks! Joe can taste it.

18 Responses to “The Kiss Of Death”

  1. Roy T. Buford Says:

    I think the Bucs can win the NFC South, and I think they have as good a chance to get to the SB as anyone.

    I do believe it MAY be a rocky start in NO this coming weekend with this loaded roster never having taken a snap as a team. 1+1+1+1 can sometimes equal 3. This compared to NO is largely a group that has. So Game 1 on the road will be the toughest game of the year.

    I also think the Chiefs will be repeats to go the SB. The Bucs play them here in Tampa in Week 12 in what could be a SB preview. Wouldn’t that be the perfect time for fans to return to football stadiums?

    As for the “oh no,” in that King is not often right on his SB predictions, I’ll just say perhaps the odds are in his favor to be right this time.

    But I’m worried about Week 1 for now.

  2. Buczilla Says:

    Cool article. Football!

  3. SufferingSince76 Says:

    Just to be thought of as relevant again has already made this football season very enjoyable. All the doomsdayers who prayed for no season have disappeared, I see, and that’s a good thing, too. This weekend we will finally have the best distraction from all the crap we’ve had to endure in 2020, natural and man-made.

  4. AlabamaBucsFan Says:

    Quote from post, “Jameis Winston threw 30 interceptions in 16 games last year. Brady has thrown 30 interceptions in his last 64 games. ”

    And to think Jameis felt he deserved $30 mil from the Bucs. Still can’t understand why some Bucs fan feel Winston was cheated when he was kicked to the curb. The dude was so inconsistent and never thought he was the problem why the Bucs missed the playoffs. QBs are supposed to win games not loses them. I bet Josh Rosen could have performed better last year as the Bucs starter.

  5. adam from ny Says:

    peter king with the gastro intestinal buccaneers vanilla milkshake

  6. Tampabaybucfan Says:

    Expecting to win is much better than worried about losing…….for a fan and especially for a player.

    We need to play a virtually mistake free game Sunday & we can win.

  7. TheBucsAnthem Says:

    King used to be a good writer in the 2000s before he blew up big

    Now he’s a pandering idiot to the mass media…

  8. AlabamaBucsFan Says:

    It going to be a tough schedule this year. If the Bucs go deep into the post season, they would have done it on a brutal schedule. According to USA Today, the 2020 NFL power ranking based on strength of schedule follows:

    #32 – Carolina Panthers
    #31 – Atlanta Falcons
    #28 – Tampa Bay Buccaneers
    #21 – New Orleans Saints

    Because Kansas City Chiefs plays all the teams in our division, they were ranked #27. San Fran was ranked #22 and at #1 is Indianapolis Colts

  9. AKicknTheBucNuts Says:

    Better a swing by King and miss than to read the usual…Bucs sucks story.

  10. Rico 210 Says:

    Yeah this first one’s gonna hurt. I got our Bucs going 12-4 though. Great article Joe! Man I’m pumped. Here in Dallas giving them them the business bout them Bucs.
    LET’S FU©KING GO!!!
    GO BUCS

  11. #1bucfan Says:

    LETS GOOO. so excited. The real question is do we all need to hone back our excitement ? You know every year I get so hyped for Bucs football just to have our season done before Xmas lol then I’m always so disappointed. This year feels a lot diff and I ain’t talking about COVID lol

  12. Rico 210 Says:

    No dialing back the excitement. No tempering expectations. No more gloom n doom.
    Let’s go!!
    Go Bucs

  13. Youngbucs Says:

    What’s crazy is I believe jameis had more turnovers alone. Than ever team in the nfl had as a whole think about that for a moment. It’s unbelievable I like Jameis but I will never make excuses for his decision making. Because that’s all they are excuses weak excuses. That have nothing to do with him open up gms with ints.

  14. Jmarkbuc Says:

    King Says we should have half the turnovers. His math is funky. We should have about 25% of them.

    Or Less….

  15. Erik Hesson - Fine Artist - City of St Pete Says:

    Lol, I definitely don’t think that’s the ‘The Kiss of Death’… (Knock on the wood)

    … It sounds like a very astute and wise prognostication from King, to me.

    Grow a pair, Joes.

    We have The Greatest Team Ever Assembled.

    We’re going 19-0 this season. Trust that.

  16. Erik Hesson - Fine Artist - City of St Pete Says:

    Typo….

    Anyway,

    19-0, here we come…

    Greatest Team Ever Assembled.

    And the Greatest Season Ever by an NFL team is upon us, ladies and gentlemen…

    Let’s enjoy the ride, Bucs fans. It’s obviously a Great time to be a Buc fan ☠

  17. HeyItsAdam Says:

    I finally got around to reading the hyperlink as to why Peter King hates the Second Amendment.

    “You can be for the Constitution and against ownership of murder machines. That is the issue here.“

    So funny how he can vomit his worthless opinions from the depths of his gelatinous, harpoon-scarred gut because of the 1st Amendment, but can toss the rest of the Constitution because he disagrees with it from his mansion with the high walls and private security. (PS: If this wasn’t open for comment, it shouldn’t have been included in the post)

  18. SB Says:

    Best Take I have ever heard by Peter King. Regardless of all the adjectives.