Welcome to your Morning Cup of Joe, an eye-opener to help Joe’s readers ease into their busy workday with a few football links, wacky news and a pleasant distraction.

Distraction of the Day

Steelers vs. Slimy Saints in Paris. Yeah, there is a slimy Saints-snails joke here Joe better lay off. [PFT]

Describing every AFC team’s biggest improvement. [CBS]

What did the Browns get for trading Amari Cooper? [Yahoo!]

Chiefs-Broncos at Arrowhead Week 1 of Monday Night Football. [NFL]

Barney Rubble was a mooch. [TikTok]

Tom Moore, 87, couldn’t stay retired. His alma mater Iowa hired him as a senior consultant and adviser. [The Athletic]

Seems like NFL chieftain Roger Goodell’s math may be off. [Awful Announcing]

NFLPA torches owners who ripped up their astroturf for the puppy Euro kickball people. It is shameful! Owners force their players to play on that crap but are only to happy to get on their knees for some foreign third world sport. #Merica [Front Office Sports]

Sunday Ticket losing value? Nonsense! You get every game played on Sunday. Every game. You pick what you want to watch. How is that not value? Without Sunday Ticket, folks have to leave their house, get to the bar an hour before kickoff for a decent seat, between food and drinks you’re not getting out of there under $30 and the Uber to get you there and back will likely be $40 minimum. And if you are driving and Officer Friendly pulls you over, watch the expenses of that Sunday not-so-fun day skyrocket. Like that’s better value? Joe still maintains Sunday Ticket is man’s greatest invention since the remote control. [SI]

Guess this week is “Shat on Ole Miss Week.” [Outkick]

Bear in the bathroom. [Instagram]

Don’t think it was a swift move by Vince Neil to get on stage and sing with Carrie Underwood. Doesn’t he have something less embarrassing to do, like get into a fistfight with Nicholas Cage at the poker table in Aria over a girl? [X]

Now that’s a sandwich! [TikTok]

"Don't talk to me about steamy videos because I've been in them!" – @stoolpresidente

"Fair enough! The man said it and the man backed it up, I give him credit for that." – @BFW https://t.co/yGjUh9zjlZ pic.twitter.com/aS2Tyd6RZo

— Wake Up Barstool (@wakeupbarstool) May 11, 2026

“Marino couldn't draw a defense on the board. If you went up and said to him ‘draw cover two on the board’ he'd have NO idea…”

“But when he got on the field, he saw EVERYTHING…”@GregCosell shares a fascinating story from Ron Jaworski about Hall of Fame Dolphins QB Dan… pic.twitter.com/iwL1R9ocI2

— Ross Tucker Podcast (@RossTuckerPod) May 8, 2026