The Tease Of Underwear Football

June 3rd, 2016

teaseUnderwear football is such a tease. Like the blonde at the beach bar that keeps gazing at you with alluring eyes, only wanting to sponge icy cocktails off you.

Fans hear “football” for OTAs, and the lust for football takes over. Joe gets all sorts of technical questions about formations and linebacker play, blocking and tackling, but alas, it is underwear football. Shorts, shirts, a helmet. Nothing more.

It gets far more physical in trendy south Tampa hot spots with thumping music and scantily-clad lasses than it does on the practices fields at One Buc Palace for OTAs.

About the only thing Joe legitimately can cobble together from underwear football is when receivers go against corners in 1-on-1 drills. That’s about. And, yes, coaches sometimes get frustrated because they would like to see how players do in real football combat. That’s not allowed until training camp.

When asked about rookie defensive end Noah Spence, Koetter said everything from Spence looks fine but nobody will really know until the pads are on.

“He’s looked really good,” Koetter said of Spence. “I love his attitude, definitely has pass rush ability, love how our defensive coaches are bringing him along, but especially I just like his attitude and the way he’s approaching it every day.

“You’re seeing his pass-rush stuff, but when we’re going no pads like this it’s a little bit tough to tell if he would’ve actually won every time. He tells me he wins every time [Koetter then chuckled], but I think if you ask the O-linemen they’d say he didn’t win every time, so we’ll see. That’ll all play itself out.”

Nobody can see, and no one knows, how Spence’s moves translate to angry offensive linemen in pads trying to pancake him.

Though the Bucs have not released a full training camp schedule or start date, Joe’s looking at July 27, as a tentative first day. On Day 3 of camp, that’s when the NFL allows contact in practice. And that’s when we’ll know a lot more about Spence.

14 Responses to “The Tease Of Underwear Football”

  1. The Buc Realist Says:

    Joe’s right!!! Throw in the heat yesterday and it sounds awful to be out there!!! I would rather be a designated driver for Jfro-6pak on a bender, or what he calls a week night (allegedly)

  2. StPeteBucsFan Says:

    OK Joe, if I may stick with your metaphor because I think it works. I just come to a different conclusion.

    Are you telling me that if you were at a St. Pete Beach Tiki Bar watching the sun set and Rachel Watson strolled up in a thong and “sponged” a couple of drinks from you before heading on her way that would not be a terrific afternoon?

    Yes we want more out of life..we’re ready for some football…but we’ll just have to settle for the foreplay of OTA’s. I gotta be honest. I’ve always enjoyed foreplay a lot and I enjoy the OTA’s and training camp.

  3. BoJim Says:

    Nowadays I find that the lovely young chick is not gazing at you but through you. As if you were a window.

  4. Joe Says:

    LOL St. Pete

  5. tmaxcon Says:


    Any significance to the “Yellow” bikini day with the first 2 pics.

  6. BigHogHaynes Says:

    Same stupid, moronic, rhetorical BS, get a life for REALIST!

  7. Cobraboy Says:

    Interesting to note that Rick Stroud is reporting that ASJ’s “unspecified” shoulder injury last season usually ends up with surgery and IR, and it was the doctors that kept him off the field, not Lovie or ASJ himself.

    Dotson was the designated IR-but-can-return guy last season before ASJ got hurt. That may be the reason ASJ was not IR’d: the team at 6-6, there was hope he could return for the final push. But in retrospect, maybe he should have been IR’d to heal properly.

    In 2015, he caught 7 passes for 139 yds and 2 TD’s before getting hurt. The last 4 games he caught 14 passes for almost 200yds and 2 TDs. Still hurt.

    So 6 games, 20 passes caught, 339yds and 4 TDs. When he plays he impacts. That’s why he’s on this team. He just needs to stay healthy.

    Oh, and Jameis LOVES him. And like Joe says, “What Jameis wants, Jameis gets…”

  8. Warren Says:

    If that blonde keeps giving you the eyes you BUY them drinks son!

  9. Nole on Sat.-Bucc on Sun. Says:

    Now that was some insight cobra,it is my hope that those who seem to be in a rush to move on from this young man can muster enough inteligence to see he can beastly in this league when available for play.

  10. tickrdr Says:

    Cobraboy Says: (and seconded by NOS-BOS)
    June 3rd, 2016 at 8:48 am

    So 6 games, 20 passes caught, 339yds and 4 TDs. When he plays he impacts. That’s why he’s on this team. He just needs to stay healthy.

    Another thing I learned enroute to looking up other things.
    I am a stats nerd, but sometimes they don’t tell the whole story.

    Four TDs in six games sounds pretty good……… but
    1st TD against Tennessee down 21 to nothing.
    2nd TD against Tennessee down 42 to 7, ended by the victory dance to the end zone.
    3rd TD against Chicago on a Hail Mary pass with one second left in the fourth quarter, and down by 12 points.
    4th TD against St. Louis with 2:24 left in the fourth quarter, when down by 15 points.
    Some wags might say those would count as “garbage time” scores for ASJ, and by extension for JW3 as well, but not me.


  11. Nole on Sat.-Bucc on Sun. Says:

    tickr we can use that term if we so choose,at the end of the day stat reveal a play was made. Years from now when re-check the anals the only thing that will be shown is the stat. Won’t say anything about garbage bro.

  12. Cobraboy Says:

    tickrdr, most of those losses were the result of incredibly bad defense.

    When your number is called you’re supposed to make plays, right?

    ASJ made his share of them. I just hope he stays injury free; that’s his #1 problem…

    Why folks are pulling against him is beyond me…

  13. tickrdr Says:

    You are both certainly correct that a play is a play, and they all count, at least during the regular season. However, the headline of this blog post is “The tease of underwear football”. Why doesn’t Joe report a touchdown when a running back crosses the goal line however he does for the receivers to catch a pass? While I cheer every touchdown for the Bucs, I also understand that the effort by the opposing defense late in the game with a commanding lead may be somewhat less than when the game is on the line. So, ASJ’s and JW3’s production late in hopeless games is noted and certainly applauded. I just hope to see more of it when the outcome has not been already decided.


  14. Cobraboy Says:

    tickrdr, that’s the role of the defense.

    It’s interesting that in 2015 it was the offense that kept the team in the games, and the defense that lost games.

    Quite the turnaround from prior years.

    My gut tells me that 2016 will see a significant improvement in balance between the O & D.