“He’ll Remain Nameless”

March 25th, 2016
Dirk Koetter says the Bucs have a food issue

Dirk Koetter says the Bucs have a weight issue

Bring on the fat police!

Speaking at the NFC Coaches Breakfast this week, Dirk Koetter revealed that a Buccaneers player is overweight.

Keep in mind nobody asked Koetter if there’s a guy on the roster who is too fat.

“We only have on guy on our team right now, besides me, that probably needs to lose weight, and he’ll remain nameless,” Koetter said.

A reporter at the table pushed Koetter for a name, saying “public pressure” can be a good motivator for a player. Koetter laughed but wouldn’t cough up a name.

So who is this bulging Buccaneer? And damn, you know this guy must have ballooned up a bit when a coach is thinking about his weight — in March.

Whoever it is, Joe sincerely hopes the guy is loading up on fish and vegetables and laying off the Ring Dings (which are now sold local Walmart stores). It’s pretty clear that Koetter won’t be be tolerant.

40 Responses to ““He’ll Remain Nameless””

  1. Ray Rice Says:

    Where’s the ice cream man at?

  2. jay Says:

    I’m getting a ASJ vibe.. The injuries sidelined him and he was unable to play (stay in shape). Not mention his demotion on the depth chart is puzzling.

  3. Blake_BucsFan Says:

    Was thinking the same thing jay. The dude ways 2 freaking 60! And he’s not exactly cut up either. Thats fine and dandy for a rock solid Defensive end, or somebody that can actually block, also for someone that doesn’t get injured constantly. I thinks it’s pretty obvious that his frame can’t support that much weight. The question is, does he have the work ethic necessary to change.

  4. Tampabaybucfan Says:

    I’m thinking Donovan Smith……just a process of elimination….

  5. Rojas Says:

    My guess is either ASJ also or D Smith

  6. steviejanowski Says:

    I’m saying Jameis because of his comments after the ProBowl. He’s said he’s in “good shape” but I think he wants to get more sculpted.

  7. The Buc Realist Says:


    Joe just recently had an article of last year’s rookie’s going to Orl. https://www.joebucsfan.com/2016/03/ride-with-the-rookies/ if this is a recent picture I do not think D Smith looked over weight. In fact I thought those arms (pipe cleaners) could use some bulking up!!!!

  8. Tom S. Says:

    My first thought was Donovan Smith because of his weight issues in the past and the fact he is a gigantic human being. Though I can understand the line of thinking with ASJ.

  9. Pickgrin Says:

    The picture of Donovan Smith from when he went to the Magic game with Winston and Marpet recently showed that he has slimmed down – not beefed up.

    Is cheeseburger Bowers still on the roster?

  10. Pat Says:

    Hide those Devil Dogs & Twinkies! And just in case keep MG8 & nab Ronnie Stanley.

  11. The Buc Realist Says:

    I will say it was strange for Datson to be announced as a starter this early!!!! That is all I am saying!!!!!

  12. SOEbuc Says:

    I agree Realist. I was thinking D. Smith was looking skinny in those Orlando pics, but maybe that’s what the “weight issue” is. Not overweight, underweight

  13. Espo Says:

    It’s clearly Donald Penn.

  14. Buccfan37 Says:

    Lay off those Cuban sandwiches not named big guy.

  15. Ocala Says:

    Come on show some common sense
    It’s clearly not Jameis

    Why would someone even say that?

  16. Buc1987 Says:

    “laying off the Ring Dings (which are now sold local Walmart stores)”

    Joe they’re crap now. The new company did something to the chocolate. Too thick and too generic. My eyes lit up like a Christmas tree when I saw the box. Low on cash I bought them anyways. Man they effed them up. Go back to the OLD chocolate. Taste similar to a Little Debbie now…yuck.

    Sorry it’s not Bucs related but Ring Dings are pretty much my all time favorite snack. Not Ho-Ho’s or Ding Dongs but RING DINGS and they crushed me with the chocolate man.

    Man I used to love getting a Ring Ding in the aluminum foil wrapper in my lunch box as a kid. I just hate it when someone ef’s with my childhood, remakes of movies, changing food, or taking something completely off the market.

    Devil Dogs are back though….I’m sure they didn’t ef them up too bad!


  17. LifeOfABucFan Says:

    Oooh..I like Donovan Smith..he has Periscope up all the time with his fans..yesterday he was at grandma’s house with his sister and answering all our silly questions..he always asks the fans if they want to play COD or NFL madden with him..he’s just super cool! Don’t think it’s him..but I do have an idea who it is from “his” twitter account..

  18. Joseph Mamma Says:

    Maybe eventually he could be known as “the deflator”

  19. Q Says:

    Gerald McCoy

  20. Chromolly Says:

    Mike Diva Evans….

    Love this new damn coach ! That sry sack love dove was just like “what evs,what evs! The only nfl coach in history who wasent trying to score during a road game….smfh

  21. BuccaneerBonzai Says:

    It’s Doug Martin. He got his money.

  22. BuccaneerBonzai Says:


    I’m a Zingers man.

  23. BuccaneerBonzai Says:

    It’s not Winston. He’s been active nonstop. I’m proud of the kid.

  24. Chromolly Says:

    Lighting up on D Smith ,dudes a baller and works”his balls off ” ( caddilac williams brillent address to the preseason crowd )

  25. canadian bucsfan Says:

    My guess is that it could could Shaun King

  26. Buccfan37 Says:

    87.. that was funny about snarfing down little debbies belly crying for sweet fat. Don’t worry about the one that fell behind the headboard, like a secret cache. Don’t read the ingredients.

  27. R.O Says:

    It’s McCoy.. He’s always been soft and mushy. Both mentally and physically.

  28. canadian bucsfan Says:


  29. Buc1987 Says:

    Buccfan37….lol I’m not even a fat guy actually. 6 ft 175. Ring Dings are just nostalgic to me.

  30. Rr Says:


  31. BucTrooper Says:

    I’m not the first to say it, but ASJ. Remember the other day he wasn’t named 1st or 2nd TE ON THE DEPTH CHART.

  32. Kstoges Says:


  33. Pawel Says:

    Luke stocker?

  34. Strider ....Sec 147 Says:

    Evan pos smith!!!!!

  35. biff barker Says:

    Toss a bag of Cheetos in the locker room and trust the natural order. Nah, screw Cheetos, make it a perfectly toasted Cuban.

  36. Steve Says:

    Follow McCoy on snapchat…it’s not him

  37. LifeOfABucFan Says:

    My oldest son came home tonight and said McCoy came in again for dinner at his restaurant..He said he drives his Rolls in..and tips very well…

  38. BuccaneerBonzai Says:

    Long as it isn’t a WR, QG or RB, I don’t care who it is, lol.

  39. godzilla13 Says:

    Unbelievable that almost no one knows who this player is.. “we only have one guy who probably needs to lose weight.” Who is the only guy we constantly see working out? Jameis ..

  40. RealBucFan Says:

    People, who has been off the longest? It’s Kwon Alexander. Look at his tweets today. Hmmmm.