Schiano Limits Hot Meals, Manages Movie Titles

October 29th, 2012

“Look, Mark, fumbles aside, Preston Parker was seen watching Scarface and eating hot fudge on his frozen yogurt.”

Much has been made of Greg Schiano’s obsession with room temperature, and of his alleged pasta noodle fixations. But there are more details, and perhaps more pressing details, to be micromanaged under the New Schiano Order.

Buccaneers Radio Network color analyst Dave Moore, a 16-year NFL veteran, enlightened Bucs fans this morning during the Ron and Ian Show on WDAE-AM 620.

“He’s very conscious of when these guys are going to eat. He doesn’t want hot meals at certain times, cold meals, room temperature, hallway temperature, plane temperature, half the plane was under blankets last week,” Moore said. “But that’s just how he manages the team. He’s a guy that is attention to the detail, and his details are everything from meal to room temperature to what you’re watching on the plane. You know, certain movies. He’s all about getting the fair advantage, and he’s taking it to another level.”

Carl Nicks: Hey Coach, you mind if I melt the cheese and toast the bun on this turkey sandwich.
Greg Schiano: C’mon, Carl. You know nothing hits the gums over 65 degrees between between 10 and noon on Wednesdays.

Joe would love to learn more about Schiano’s hot-food-cold-food philosophies. Perhaps Joe could apply those tactics to enhance his performance on these here pages? (Sorry, warm beer is not happening.)

Of course, the Nicks-Schiano exchange above is a joke, but the Dave Moore quote is completely serious.

And none of this should be surprising. 

One could have a lot of fun speculating on the movie restrictions. Gerald McCoy’s favorite movie is no doubt off-limits. 

Joe can only imagine how much more behavioral legislation is in place.

17 Responses to “Schiano Limits Hot Meals, Manages Movie Titles”

  1. SensibleBuc Says:

    “Greg Schiano: C’mon, Carl. You know nothing hits the gums over 65 degrees between between 10 and noon on Wednesdays.”

    I’M DYING OVER HERE!!!! Bahahahahahaha!!!!

  2. lightningbuc Says:

    Oh brother. Miguel will have a field day with this!

  3. Buc Fan #237 Says:

    As long as he keeps winning… not even the players will care.

    Jon Gruden was fun when he won.

  4. teacherman777 Says:


    U guys clearly dont understand Coach.

    He said it earlier, its about perfecting and systemizing things.

    Hes an innovator! Hes different!

    Thats whats great about America!

    Be yourself! Love ya Coach! I dont like how Joe called you maniacal. Not cool!

    1-2-3 Family! I feel that! RIP John Wooden. (one of Gregs heroes)

    One Love! Go Bucs!

  5. FLBoyInDallas Says:

    Great, now we’ll be hearing from Miguelito not only about the “torture tests” but also the concentration camp conditions (cold meals & cold temps) for months to come. I am sooooo looking forward to that.

  6. Jessup Says:

    As long as the guys can eat and watch what they want when they are off, I don’t see a problem. They need to realize that when they are at work it is going to be a very regimented environment with everything controlled to a tee. Great football teams have great execution and great execution is all about the details…so it seems appropriate to me.

    I wouldn’t put up with that controlling military style environment at my job, but I’m a carefree hippy carpenter. These guys get to play a game for a living and make large amounts of money for it. The head coach is in charge of a large group of young men much like a military brigade. Seems like the right way to be successful is to run it the same way.

    As long as he isn’t trying to control too much of their life away from “work” there should be no problems. Even then, as celebrity athletes they are technically always at work and still have to follow rules when it comes to drinking, tweeting, ect.

  7. Bobby Says:

    The Preston Parker caption was hilarious!

  8. passenger27 Says:

    Maybe coach should spend more time making sure his guys lay off the adderall then what movie they watch! Smh

  9. raphael Says:

    much needed direction and discipline for the team….Great Job Coach Shiano ! wonder if porn is allowed ? lol

  10. Capt. Jean Lafitte Says:

    I wonder if Schiano served in the military, or maybe his father. He’s very organized and regimented like a career military drill sargeant. They usually live their retired civilian life the same way. He definitely eliminates all the distractions and unnecessary thinking decisions and replaces them with concentrating on football.

  11. CanadianBucsFan Says:

    Hardest i’ve ever laughed at anything on this website before.. thanks for making my day Joe.

  12. Miguel El Magnifico Says:

    Actually, I was on a macro-biotic diet for a while where I only ate raw food. Nuts, berries, vegetables and fruit. Very healthy, but the linemen would not be able to keep their weight on. The enzymes that are needed for your optimum health are destroyed at 180 degrees fahrenheit.

    I doubt the Little General is that smart, he’s probably just going off on some control freak tangent.

    If he wanted to improve this team through diet, I would suggest shipping in live, pure spring water and get rid of all the fluoridated and sports drinks. Serve organic food only and pure natural meats like buffalo or fish.

    You can’t control the players when they are at home so why bother.

    I’m lost at the movie reference. I’ve read his lips on the sideline, so he’s no Christian like Dungy.

  13. dan Says:

    props to miguel for the health kick.

  14. dan Says:

    which were subsequently lost by judging someones faith based upon language.

  15. Andrew Says:

    I dont understand how watching a certain movie is going to help you win or lose a football game. thats definitely taking it to the extreme. I could see how some players might have a problem with that. I know I would. But i guess whatever works.

  16. bucsnbeer Says:

    Well I see he is coordinating team management haircuts, that should help on gameday.

  17. Jim Walker Says:

    This guy is mentally ill.