"Hey, we can do this one more time, man. We need each other. Your work's not done here, and neither is mine."

Those of you dreaming of a new Bucs starting quarterback next season need to step into reality. The odds of it happening are slim.

Bruce Allen and Jon Gruden want Jeff Garcia back because, in their minds, Garcia’s return assures them of a winning 2009 season. Not a successful season, but a winning season with a prayer of getting lucky in the playoffs.

Of course, that assumes Garcia stays healthy, and Bruce Almighty and Chucky can fulfill their their fantasies, including adding a top flight running back, resigning key free agents, like Jermaine Phillips, and improving defensively under Raheem Morris.  

Expect Bruce Almighty to gush over Garcia at today’s news conference at One Buc Place. He’ll be courting the free-agent-to-be with kind, loving praise. Allen plays head spinmaster with the media this morning during a state-of-the team address. 

As for the Bucs sticking with Garcia, it’s Chucky’s way. He prefers veteran quarterbacks. The Bucs have no salary cap issues, which means Gruden will be starting a veteran in 2009.

The odds of Chucky riding his job on the back of a young QB are about the same as him sharing a smoothie with Joey Galloway next week. It ain’t happening.

The odds of Chucky riding his job on the back of a young QB are about the same as him sharing a smoothie with Joey Galloway next week. It ain't happening.

As for Chucky going with a different veteran quarterback, the pickings are very slim.

Brett Favre likely could be had but may have no interest in playing here. And he isn’t coming off a strong season like in 2007. Kurt Warner’s a free agent, but Arizona will surely resign him. Daunte Culpepper, who Gruden brought in for a look before, might be available from the Lions, but he’s surely not better than Garcia. Donovan McNabb? He’s not a free agent, and Philly wouldn’t let him walk. Jake Plummer might be the only one out there – way out there.

As for Garcia, he’s a realist of very strong character, and a man who isn’t interested in embracing major change in his life. He turns 39 in a few weeks, and he’s got an infant daughter at home alongside a pregnant Playboy Playmate of the Year wife expecting their second child in the Spring.

After multiple conversations with Garcia this season, Joe believes Garcia has no interest in starting over with a new team. And he has no interest in being a backup quarterback.

So what options are left for him other than a return to Tampa Bay? Even if Garcia wanted to try and be the No. 1 quarterback for a new club, who would want him at 39 years old? A contender won’t need him, and a rebuilding team won’t let a guy that age be its top QB. And surely he’s unlikely to go to one of the many teams with a new coach in 2009.

Maybe – a big maybe – Mike Singletary makes a run at Garcia thinking he can get the 49ers quickly into contention with a veteran quarterback in a crappy division. San Francisco is Garcia’s hometown club, but it’s still a remote chance that SIngletary would want to hang his coaching future on a 39-year-old.

Keeping pregnant Carmella and their daughter happy is important to Jeff Garcia. And that might mean staying in Tampa.

The pickings are as slim for Garcia as they are for stubborn, veteran-loving Chucky.

Garcia and Chucky are a perfect match in 2009. They need each other.

They’re both on razor thin ice clinging to jobs they desperately want to keep.