Welcome to your Morning Cup of Joe, an eye-opener to help Joe’s readers ease into their busy workday with a few football links, wacky news and a pleasant distraction.

Distraction of the Day

Drew Rosenhaus claims Cheetah Hill will be ready by next month to return to an NFL field. Doctors think this is a downright dumb idea. [PFT]

Quarterback power rankings. [CBS]

J.J. McCarthy is now the Vikings No. 3 quarterback. Who could have guessed? [Yahoo!]

Do Brock Bowers and Benjamin Morrison share the same doctor? Bowers is hurt (again) and had to have minor knee surgery. [NFL]

This ought to get Dave Portnoy’s attention. [TikTok]

Don’t ever let anyone from The Athletic get all haughty with you about ethics. The Athletic is now in bed with the NFL, providing content and copy for NFL.com. A big-shot for The Athletic said the NFL has no editorial control over the copy. Sure Jan. A multi-billion dollar company has no say in what gets placed on its own website. Rrriiiggghhhttt! [Front Office Sports]

Screamin’ Stephen A. Smith blasts SEC for saber-rattling about throwing LSU, Lane Kiffin out of the conference. [Outkick]

B1G tries to make amends for botching the ending of the Western Michigan-Michigan game. [Awful Announcing]

Former Lightning coach Barry Melrose died at 70. Parkinson’s got him. [Hollywood Reporter]

Wait till dad gets home! #Igits [TikTok]

“This was one of the strangest, dumbest things… the way nipple rings does things, I just don’t get it”
–@stoolpresidente doesn’t understand Ohio State having Senior Day Week 1 pic.twitter.com/dyHXrPNwuY

— Wake Up Barstool (@wakeupbarstool) September 7, 2026

In 1992, Ronnie James Dio quit Black Sabbath rather than open for Ozzy. “I’m not supporting a clown,” he told Iommi.

So Rob Halford stepped in on almost no notice. Here he is singing “N.I.B.” with Sabbath at Costa Mesa.

One of the rarest lineups in metal. pic.twitter.com/RvJdHiqejT

— Guitar Gods Unleashed (@gguworld) September 3, 2026

“He STINKS. I don’t think you can keep rolling this guy out.”@JohnMiddlekauff explains why Michigan should BENCH QB Bryce Underwood after his poor Week 1 performance vs. Western Michigan. pic.twitter.com/H5g531qOoh

— 3 & OUT with John Middlekauff (@3andout_pod) September 7, 2026