Ryan Jensen Describes Tom Brady’s Hangup With His Sweaty Rear End

February 10th, 2023

It’s all in the powder.

Cool story about how Bucs center Ryan Jensen learned to turn his sweaty arse dry thanks to the attention-to-detail ways of former Bucs quarterback Tom Brady.

The following gives you an idea how nothing gets past Brady. Quite literally nothing.

One reason Brady came to the Bucs was he studied their film, learned the players and the division, and his research told him he could win with Tampa Bay.

While researching the team, Brady picked up on Jensen having a sweaty arse. And that simply wouldn’t do.

So shortly after Brady signed, within hours, Brady got Jensen’s number from Bucs AC/DC-loving general manager Jason Licht. Jensen got a warning from Licht, early on a weekday morning in Jensen’s Colorado home that Brady would very likely be calling soon.

A few minutes later, Brady did.

Jensen, in a sitdown with Kyle Burger of WFTS-TV Channel 28, explained the first conversation between Brady and his new center.

Jensen said after about five minutes of “pleasantries,” Brady got right down to the heart — or the derriere — of the matter. Brady told him his sweaty arse is unacceptable.

However, Brady told Jensen he knew how to resolve it. In short, Brady showed Jensen how to douse a towel, or sometimes two, with baby powder and how to shove them quite literally up his arse, between his cheeks.

This, Brady told Jensen, would help keep the ball drier and help him throw passes better.

“For him, it was if the ball gets wet, it throws him off,” Jensen said. “It’s hard to throw a wet football.

“For him, it’s a small little technique he learned through his career to help keep that ball dry. It was a little awkward at first.”

Jensen recounted Brady advising him in that first FaceTime.

“‘I will teach you how to do it and you will do it every day,'” Brady told Jensen. “And I’m like, ‘Yes, sir.'”

A few months later, Brady and Jensen were Super Bowl champs.

Joe wonders if having two towels shoved up your arse might cause blisters in a game. That would be painful if not awkward.

Or is that too much information?

18 Responses to “Ryan Jensen Describes Tom Brady’s Hangup With His Sweaty Rear End”

  1. SB Says:

    Hate to break it to ya but Brady is not coming back.
    in the Famous words of RUSH.
    ………..”If you choose not to decide, You still have made a Choice”

    It is time to be Decisive!!!

  2. LONG JOHN Says:

    A lot of QB like to lick their fingers. LOL

  3. Goatfarmer Says:

    I’m sure glad Big Red is a Buc.

  4. sasquatch Says:

    Butt sweat mitigation. Great phrase.

  5. sasquatch Says:

    Butt sweat mitigation sounds like something I’d need to learn if I ever moved back to Tampa.

  6. Goatfarmer Says:

    Butt sweat mitigation is the name for Bowels’ Toad’s “gameplanning.”

    Losing is coming, people. Lots and lots of losing.

  7. Rod Munch Says:

    The baby powder is there to help stop chaffing, and keep the ball drier.

    I wonder if Hainsey is going to now have to tell his story about Brady teaching him how to show baby powder and towels up his rear.

  8. JimbobBucsFan Says:


  9. Brian Says:

    It’s 5:00 am and that made me laugh 😂

  10. SB~LV Says:

    So is that towel going to Canton when Tom gets into the HOF?

  11. Beej Says:

    Glad I’m eating my Waffle House breakfast right now

  12. Bosch Says:

    It will keep the ball drier? Which one? Left or right?

  13. Bosch Says:

    SB~LV makes a good point. It would be appropriate for the HOF to list Brady’s discovery of this locker room remedy for Swampa$$ among his numerous accomplishments.

    I seem to remember Terry Bradshaw mentioning Mike Webers butt in his HOF induction speech.

  14. Hodad Says:

    My question would be, is he going to keep doing it now that Tom is gone?

  15. SKBucsFan Says:

    I could think of worse things. Butt now the secret is out.

  16. BucsfanFred Says:


  17. NEfan Says:

    Hey wait, doesn’t baby powder cause cancer? BA killed the Bucs, Blows killed Brady, Brady killed Big Red!

  18. BucsBeBack (Artist formally known as: BringBucsBack) Says:

    I know this is less fun but, they did not shove the towel IN their bottoms in the video, as this seems excessive. They merely covered their bottoms with the towels which, seems sufficient.

    Shout out to SB for the RUSH quote. There is never a bad time for one of those. That quote always comes to mind when I read or hear about “low voter turnout”.