“What If I Shot Tom Brady?”

May 23rd, 2020

Will the people who have irritable bowel syndrome flare-up whenever Joe refers in the first reference to new Bucs quarterback Tom Brady as “park-violating, home-invading” also reach out to Disney and City of Tampa officials for no good reason?

Tampa mayor Jane Castor and BSPN teamed up with a funny spoof video of Brady’s capers since arriving in town.

Of course, one of Castor’s goons ran Brady out of a park (where he apparently was tossing a football with an unnamed accomplice). Days later, Brady waltzed into a complete stranger’s home unaware the house he invaded was not owned by Bucs offensive coordinator Byron Leftwich’s, his intended target.

The video begins with Castor making a mock official statement welcoming Brady to Tampa Bay. She then begins documenting Brady’s colorful yet very short history in the area.

Then the video really gets good as Paul Dial, Tampa’s director of parks and rec, explained in detail about Brady and his unknown companion getting run off from the park. The video flips back to Castor who described the incident as “trespassing.” Then she adds, “Tom continued with home invasion.”

A gentleman by the name of David Kramer joins the video. He is the owner of the house Brady strolled into unannounced and without even ringing the doorbell. Kramer describes in detail what happened. (“What are you doing in my friggin’ house?”)

By the time Kramer, Leftwich’s neighbor, recognized Brady was standing in the middle of his house, Brady bolted.

Of course, Kramer has the money quote that just about everybody overlooks.

“I started thinking about all the things that could have gone, like so wrong,” Kramer said. “What if I had a gun? What if I shot Tom Brady?”

The video then goes back to Castor, with what looks like a Corgi at her side (channeling Bill Belicheat?), offering to pardon Brady for his misdeeds so long as he doesn’t let the Vince Lombardi Trophy leave the city limits of Tampa in February.

Again, Joe is wondering if the same folks who are up in arms with Joe and his moniker will threaten legal action on Disney and Castor like they have with Joe in the comments?

Well?

And shooting Brady before he had one practice with the Bucs? Joe just cannot imagine the blowback from that. It would be talked about and rehashed forever.

33 Responses to ““What If I Shot Tom Brady?””

  1. Roy T. Buford Says:

    Having fun at other people’s expense, especially when the other people are celebrities and are not willing particpants–is never a good idea. I don’t personally think it’s funny or clever that Joe is using the moniker on GOAT Tom Brady, especially as guarded as he was about those verbally smacking Jameis Winston around. A little bit wierd, frankly, especially given how amazing Brady in life and his career. So on a more practical matter, Tom Brady gets what he wants, and if think’s Joe’s blog is low budget in how it refers to people, especially the biggest, most positive story to come out of the Bucs since they won the SB, Tom may not give Joe the time of day–may think Joe is not worth acknowledging. My bet is Brady cleared the video. Or is Jane Castor really that stupid?

  2. bucnjim Says:

    Roy T,

    You are talking about someone who wanted to implement a 9pm curfew to the entire Tampa area even though there was nowhere to go, nothing to do, and of course the numbers of cases and deaths were going down already. So yes I’d have to question some of the decision making.

  3. mark2001 Says:

    Holy Smokes Joe…that dog is a cute mutt. But not a corgi. Check out last years Corgi race, and see what they really look like….big dogs with stubby chicken quarters for legs.

  4. Roy T. Buford Says:

    Bucnjim….exactly what I was thinking.

    Glad cooler heads prevailed on the curfew. I’m thinking more head-scratchers from her will bubble up.

  5. Lord Cornelius Says:

    Lmao

  6. Knuckle Sandwich Delivery Service Says:

    Just add “super model spankin” to it and all will be fine.

  7. K2 Says:

    Tom Brady as “park-violating, home-invading” “park-violating, home-invading” is that the QB guy? Was he a good QB? Not sure, but he was “park-violating, home-invading” … no I think the guy won a few games. That’s not important! He was a “park-violating, home-invading”

  8. Buc1987 Says:

    Some posters have stopped posting over all this…

    Made threats. SMH

    Go Bucs…Go park-violating, home-invading Tom Brady!

  9. HoyaBuc Says:

    Joe,

    Who would you rather have as your starting QB this year? Park-violating, home-invading (GOAT) Brady or America’s Quarterback, Pro Bowler Jameis Winston (3rd stringer?)? I’m a fan of your site, but the respective monikers you selected for each QB are rather odd given the success they have each had in their respective careers. I would assume you would select Brady, but can forgive some that visit this site for questioning things. Of course, if someone is really offended, no reason to make threats, just stop reading and take their business elsewhere.

  10. El Buco Realisto Says:

    Is there anything worse than Joe, having to explain the joke to the sheep??????

    go bucs

  11. WillieG Says:

    I can’t speak for others, but I find it annoying when you (or anyone else for that matter), write something that’s almost funny once, but then you keep writing it over and over again like it’s hilarious. It’s annoying when you have all the adjectives and descriptors for Peter King too, but at least they’re links in red so I can skip over them. If you have something good to write (as you often do) why clutter it up with un-funny, repetitive garbage?

  12. fernando diaz Says:

    an idiot speaking is not news worthy

  13. Mike Johnson Says:

    Heavy..Medal Jacket..baby! My man pictured here played the hell out of that role.

  14. Jeff Says:

    Terrible headline. Just terrible.

  15. Barack's Crack Pipe Says:

    “And shooting Brady before he had one practice with the Bucs?”
    .
    .

    Hopefully, he aims low. Brady’s legs aren’t worth a darn, anyway. We good. =D

  16. gotbbucs Says:

    Why then didn’t Winston ever get “crotch grabbing” or “heavy petting” added to his illustrious moniker?

  17. Barack's Crack Pipe Says:

    “Having fun at other people’s expense, especially when the other people are celebrities…”
    .
    .

    OMG! God forbid anyone offends a celebrity! Nooooo

  18. Barack's Crack Pipe Says:

    Knuckle Sandwich Delivery Service Says:
    “Just add “super model spankin” to it and all will be fine.”
    .
    .

    Damn, this is a great idea for a fund-raiser! Beats the heck out of a boring kissin’ booth. Just gotta get Gisele on board.

  19. Knuckle Sandwich Delivery Service Says:

    At this point Joe is just trolling y’all and winning.

  20. Mr. Reality Says:

    The video is funny, clearly Brady is good with it. Pretty dumb of Joe to take face shots at him on every mention though.. Just immature,, unprofessional. No class. This is the winston loving Joe apparently. Yup terrible title. Looks like Joe is trying to troll for attention from the GOAT. Like a fool being a moron at an office party. Anything to be noticed.. Smh.

  21. Joe Says:

    Looks like Joe is trying to troll for attention from the GOAT.

    Nope.

  22. Roy T. Buford Says:

    @ Crack Pipe…the point is not about offending celebrities; it is that typically they have deep pockets and are more capable to make someone who is poking fun at them pay for it…

  23. unbelievable Says:

    LOL @ all you grown “men” getting your panties in a bunch of over some dumb moniker that the J0es use.

    I mean eh o cares? He’s been doing it for years with dozens of different people. It’s truly amazing how many people are such sensitive little snowflakes.

  24. unbelievable Says:

    *who cares? ^

  25. Show me the TDs Says:

    I don’t give a crap what Joe thinks of anyone, even though I find it childish. It’s the repetition over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over……………………………….

  26. Mr. Reality Says:

    Oh, yup. You could actually make gains and capture a real niche in sports media. But you choose to be a lowlife. That’s up to you. Ira must have this a out his employer.

  27. Mr. Reality Says:

    corr…must hate this about his employer. He sure took a step back.

  28. Joe Says:

    But you choose to be a lowlife.

    Sure, Joe can be a “highlife” and be begging for donations like a panhandler at an I-275 exit ramp so the other treasured media places so keep their lights on. Sorry, Joe has no desire to work his tail off and lose money.

  29. Buczilla Says:

    I don’t care what you call him.

  30. adam from ny Says:

    joe don’t give anyone any ideas…crazy headline…

    as i mentioned in a previous post…

    99% of people are decent…but there’s always the 1%…

    remember that move from the mid 70’s “two minute warning” with charlton heston…about a sniper at a football game planning to do deadly acts…

    we don’t need or want any of this crap joeski…

    we just wanna win games & coddle the new homie, “tom gravy”…

    get on board joeski…it’s time to ride the “gravy train”

  31. Pryda...sec147 Says:

    Idk Jane castor I just don’t like her face

  32. Nal Says:

    “Will the people who have irritable bowel syndrome flare-up whenever Joe refers in the first reference to new Bucs quarterback Tom Brady as “park-violating, home-invading” also reach out to Disney and City of Tampa officials for no good reason?” People are not annoyed by the moniker just the fact that you over use it constantly. It is just tired and lazy writing.

  33. DavidBigBucsFan99 Says:

    Before he came to the Bucs he was a cheater now he’s such a great person. People get over yerselves! He’s just another human who will always be given a pass on things he does wrong because people view him as special. He’s The GOAT who’s also a cheater but he’s our QB now. Here’s hoping he helps us go 19-0 with a Championship trophy and ring to boot! Also hoping he takes away the foul taste left in the mouths of many fans left by our former qb. So what Joe pokes fun at him you bunch of Nancies!!!

 

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