You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

March 14th, 2019

Here’s a little guard history with a new twist, courtesy of your Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Joe will get the party started in 2014, when somebody at One Buc Palace decided to attack the offseason by banking on guards Oneil Cousins, a Browns import, Jamon Meredith and MRSA-wounded Carl Nicks. That blew up in a hurry and the Bucs made an 11th-hour trade for Logan Mankins, who needed a full year to get over the shock of being dealt to Tampa from the Belicheats.

The Bucs’ offensive line was a hot mess that season en route to winning the Chase For Jameis with a 2-14 record.

After a great 2015 season at the position, Mankins retired and the Bucs made guard J.R. Sweezy their biggest-money free agent signing in 2016. A never-detailed back injury cost Sweezy the entire season, while Dirk Koetter played Kevin Pamphile at left guard as Ali Marpet settled in to his injury-shortened sophomore season at right guard.

That was a little messy as the Bucs’ running game crumbled and 2017 arrived with the revelation that Marpet was a center (he wasn’t), Sweezy could somehow be the first guard to ever return from back surgery and play a full season (he didn’t) and Pamphile was better off splitting reps with Evan Smith (he wasn’t).

Enter 2018, and tackle Caleb Benenoch starts every game at right guard and was awful while Sweezy become a Pro Bowl alternate in Seattle for the NFL’s best running game. Bucs rookie Alex Cappa and Smith rotated in to give Benenoch breaks but they still couldn’t win the job. Ali Marpet moved back to left guard. He was good but not great, and now the Bucs are staring at another hole at guard and depth concerns.

Joe laid this out now because Sweezy just signed an inexpensive free agent deal in Arizona, and four-time Pro Bowl guard Mike Iupati, a guy who played multiple seasons for Bucco Bruce Arians, replaced Sweezy in Seattle with a new contract today.

You simply cannot make this stuff up.

Joe will wager a few bucks now (just a few) that next year Ali Marpet will be playing center as Ryan Jensen moves on and the Bucs will be in the free agent guard market in a big way.

59 Responses to “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up”

  1. ChanEpic Says:

    Does Licht even GM bro?

  2. AKickInTheBucNuts Says:

    All part of Dunce Cap Licht master plan.

  3. donuts Says:

    Now that the Browns have rejuvenated their team back to relevancy we can now crown the BUCS as the worst NFL franchise.

  4. DB55 Says:

    Pats oline consistent of guys drafted no higher than the 3rd round. 3,4,5 and UDFA. Not sure why licht can’t find a guard in the later rounds. He did come from the pats org right? And he was an oline himself right? Then what’s the problem?

    And Trent Brown was a 7th round pick.

  5. firethecannons Says:

    lets just get kevin pamphile back and call it done

  6. Adrnagy Says:

    Next year when Jensen moves on , we can bring back joe Hawley he will be what like 32 and coming off a fresh year. Boom !

  7. firethecannons Says:

    when we win only 3 games next season lets please organize and occupy One Buc place until Jason Licht is fired

  8. Season Is Over Says:

    Do you think we should try Marpet at RT?

  9. AlteredEgo Says:

    Word is the Glazers have been working closely with MIT and CalTech and will soon be the first team in the NFL replacing the GM position with AI….a huge sigh of relief

  10. EvolvingBucsfan Says:

    Tennessee just signed Pamphile to a one year deal… mans trash… know the rest.

  11. Anonymous Says:

    just who are you a fan of

  12. Buc1966 Says:

    Yeah, agreed. Also by end of next year: Arians will be medically retired from not doing well in the Florida heat a la Tedford-style, Winston will be on IR from getting pummeled thanks to a notso-great O line, or he will cut outright for not performing or doing something stupid again. Licht will be gone as the lightbulb finally goes off with the ownership (three years late), and Todd Bowles will take over at HC with all of $16M to do a full rebuild. The focus will advertise they are returning to a great D of the past SB Bucs. GMC will still be around. JPP will be saying he’s outta here. Ryan Smith will be starting at CB. David will be traded for 4th rounder. The Bucs will be 3-13. And the Bucs will announce no season ticket price increases, meaning it will still cost just $250-$2200 for a family of four to go sit in the Sun and watch the Bucs. This team got a lot worse yesterday from where it was Monday, and I don’t see anything at all pointed up. Not a single thing.

  13. ben Says:

    a losing team and Light has been gm for years!!… no top 10 player except receiver and no national face on a lousy team…and NO CASH … You can’t make this stuff up !!

  14. Buc1966 Says:

    I have just one question. How much did Lovie Smith and Dirk Koetter bet Jason Licht that there was no way he could put a team together that was worse than what they had. Licht is going to cash in big. Still a month before the draft and he’s already managed to destroy much of what was left.

  15. SCBucsFan Says:

    Who’s hate is bigger, Tmax with McCoy or Joe with Benenoch? Joe doesn’t hate Benenoch. It’s not his fault the Bucs kept throwing him out there at a position he wasn’t suited for. He showed promise at right tackle back in 2017.–Joe

  16. Adrnagy Says:

    Bryan Witzmann, Earl Watford, Jonathan Cooper ?

  17. pick6 Says:

    you’ve gotta hope that George Warhop was dragging the entire OL down. The above timespan was all Warhop I think….if coaching wasn’t at fault, the team has a 3+ year rebuild of the OL ahead of it. By the time Donovan Smith’s contract expires you’ll need replacements for Dotson (retirement), Jensen (overpaid), and the RG (nobody home)

    if Warhop was the problem, guys like Cappa and Benenoch might be ready to step in. Otherwise….ugh

  18. Duthsty Rhothdes Says:

    Good thing licht had many opportunities to solidify both the d front and the OL through teh draft and blew it. The biggest when he could have signed laremy tunsil but chose vernon hargreaves instead then backed that up with a kicker…guy shoudl be gone on that alobe

  19. JoeInWisco Says:

    After reading this I can’t believe that this is real life. Just for once give me something that I can brag to my friends about. Give me something that I can look forward to in the fall. Jason Licht is not the GM that will take us to the Super Bowl. He has to really be blaming the Koetter regime for the lack of production with the lack of moves being made. We need to burn out the Licht and start over.

  20. Javier SP Says:

    Add guard to the positions Licht and his staff are clueless. So far the list goes: CB, S, RB, K and G.

    Remember Licht said since day one that Marpet was a center….

    Lord help us.

  21. StoutGospel Says:

    Just as Florio does all the time on potential stories to uncover from the NFL league office, it would seem within the realm of the “allowed” for you (via your press pass) to put in a “request for comment” to Licht’s representative today on the possibility of any contractual matters that appear likely to be addressed prior to tomorrow’s deadline. Kinda suggest, create leading questions, see what is fired back at ya.
    Just lead with Brate’s contract, find a few others you choose, put in the request, and see what response you receive
    That’s reasonable, and would make for good additional content on here. Frankly, that’s not how any of this works. If Joe wants to reach the GM, Joe would text or call him. And as anyone in the media for any team can attest, those answers are rarely straight answers, and rarely shareable in a public forum.–Joe
    Go Bucs! Land Quinnen!

  22. Lord Cornelius Says:

    Just take an instant RG starter in R2 and let it pay immediate dividends. Let Cappa and everyone else fight / develop as depth for RG/RT. If no one pans out there to replace Dot you finish the line with a RT selection 2020.

    Then every other draft pick / resource can go to defense / RB for 2019-2020 with O-line/skill players/QB locked up

  23. SCBucsFan Says:

    Thanks for answering my question Joe. Have an excellent day.

  24. JimmyJack Says:

    Licht fixed the Line problems in one season.

    In 2015 we were a top 5 rushing team. Then Dirk took the same players and had them do new thing. He stopped doing what was working and overhauled the run game coordination. He had our Line doing thing they were not very good at. The result was a bottom 5 rush game.

    To add insult to injury he changed nothing the next season and asked the same exact players to do the same exact things…………no excuse since he was the OC when we were good…….it’s not like he didn’t see them play to full potential.

    Bite me Dirk. You did the same thing the third year. And we were done by Halloween again. Worst HC in franchise history.

  25. RODNEY J ALLEN Says:

    Didnt Kevin Pamphile just get a contract with somebody or an extension? I thought I read that somewhere

  26. Troy Says:

    How can a team that is so bad be so short on cap space? Somebody’s doing it wrong.

  27. StoutGospel Says:


    Well guess that explains why @Joe…is just @Joe. Joe enjoys being Joe. Is Joe supposed to want to be someone else?–Joe

    Cause “frankly”, that’s how Mike Florio does it almost every day, gets a request for comment back, mentions his procedure on the air on PFT Live, on his blog….and forces the issue. Joe is actually a friend of Florio. You can even ask Florio and your interpretation is not relevant to this website. –Joe

    So “frankly” you’re not Mike. And that’s how … works. And why he was purchased by NBC Sports after many years of hard work, doing it….THAT WAY. In case you haven’t noticed, Joe does not have a national site and has no interest in one. Again, Joe runs the site here the same way since 2008 and is very happy with it. For the record, Joe has passed on multiple purchase offers over the years. –Joe

    So keep up the attitude of “frankly, that’s not how any of this works” stuff. It’s clearly paid off, for you. And I’m sure the advertisers love the 6-8 hour lulls in content creation… to create page clicks, lack of activity. Why take such malicious shots at Joe’s record? And ascribe motives to how Joe runs the website? Joe has published 38,000 pieces of content since 2008. Combine ALL the other major Bucs media against that number in the same time period and you might not hit it. –Joe

    Keep it up @Joe’s, the attitude sure is… working. In fairness to the many commenters who try to discredit Joe on these pages and have subsequently been removed, Joe is doing the same to you. Feel free to head over to one of the other Buccaneers sites to trash Joe. You’ll find like-minded folks — and a much smaller audience. –Joe

    Go Bucs! Land Quinnen!

  28. Shane247 Says:

    This actually, shows that light is picking and bringing in talent. Unfortunately, the previous coaching staff was terrible, as was the staff before that and before that. I’m hopeful we finally have a coaching staff that knows how to evaluate talent as well as develop and coach them properly. It’s painful to look at all of the talent that has left this team only to succeed elsewhere. Soon, people will understand, that all the talent on the world will only take you as far as the coaching, scheme and usage.

  29. Shane247 Says:

    Licht….. stupid auto correct!

  30. Cobraboy Says:


    Folks couldn’t wait to run those two out of town.

  31. Cobraboy Says:

    Oops..^^^Wrong Thread.”^^^ Mea Culpa.

  32. tmaxcon Says:

    donuts Says:
    March 14th, 2019 at 1:01 pm
    Now that the Browns have rejuvenated their team back to relevancy we can now crown the BUCS as the worst NFL franchise.

    Bucs own the worst winning percentage in NFL history its been well established for decades that the small market minor league bucs are worst franchise in NFL history

  33. JimmyJack Says:

    Shane. There is a lot of evidence to support what you have said.

    Bruce Arians himself seems to believe what you are saying. Let’s remember the Bucs never chose him. He chose the Bucs.

    He got back into coaching for one reason. He picked a roster he thinks he can do it with.

    He could be wrong just like you or I. But Bruce has the goddam pedigree. Dumb Tampa Fans maybe should consider giving him the respect he deserves & earned. Or they may listen to the media goons who get kneejerk over free agent frenzy.

    Training Camp should be fun. Personally I’d love nothing more then for Bruce to call them and out for not even being Tampa Bay guys and respond with some Greg Schiano treatment.

  34. passthebuc Says:


  35. JimmyJack Says:

    Bruce’s family wouldn’t let him do that though. Our media will resort to public humiliation. Maybe they buy out 7-11 and defacate our next coach every 3 blocks on the entire Gulf Coast.

  36. Loyaltotheend Says:

    If Marpet moves back to Center Licht should be fired immediately

    What a clown show

  37. Doctor_berto Says:

    If only they didn’t win that game against the Saints and drafted Quentin Nelson…

  38. catcard202 Says:

    C & RT have to be targeted in this draft, so those picks can develop a yr before taking over starting roles in 2020.

    With D.Smith & A.Marpet’s contract extensions…Bucs need to get C/RG/RT on rookie contract #’s to balance positional spending. Light will need the $12M+ (hard) cap space to get DEF on track & help keep JW3.

  39. Doctor_berto Says:

    Or Drafted Laremy Tunsil instead of the small, short cornerback Vernon Hargreaves. Thought it was a huge mistake then and know it was now.

  40. Doctor_berto Says:

    Licht gonna blow another first round pick this season

  41. Bucsfanman Says:

    There goes “Mr. Shtick”, a.k.a. StoutGospel!
    Some of your posts are actually good reads. It’s too bad you’re such a pr!**!
    I enjoy the site and content, even a few of the posters.
    Sorry to hijack a thread. Just had to be said.

  42. zzbuc Says:

    Joe doesn’t hate Benenoch. It’s not his fault the Bucs kept throwing him out there at a position he wasn’t suited for. He showed promise at right tackle back in 2017.–Joe

    To be seen!!!!

  43. Rod Munch Says:

    The angry ginger is going to be very angry with you Joe for speculating he might not be worth the largest contract ever given to a center…

    …because he’s no longer the highest paid center in the history of the game! That’s right now it’s Mitch Morse, whoever he is…

  44. Defense Rules Says:

    tmaxcon … Sorry Tmax, but the NFL is a ‘what have you done for me lately’ league. Starting in 2000 forward (19 years), the Bucs record is 131 wins & 173 losses (43.1%). The Browns record starting with 2000 forward is 93 wins & 210 losses plus 1 tie (30.6%). For 2019 Bucs record is 0-0. Browns record is also 0-0. Might be a tad premature to crown the Bucs as the ‘worst franchise in NFL history’. Heck we’re not even the worst of this century yet. But we seem to be giving it a jolly good go, don’t we.

  45. GhostofSchiano Says:

    Conversation over heard at one Buc palace-

    BA: “Jason, what in the hell have you been doing here the last five years?”

    JL: ” uh, well, uh, kicking, uh not sure”

    BA: ” I swear I’m gonna have Todd beat some sense into you”

    JL: I signed a kicker

    BA: “Just shut the %#!& up”

  46. Loyaltotheend Says:


    The Bucs are the worst nfl franchise in history

    Lowest win percentage in league history

  47. Tackleblockwin Says:

    So maybe we should have open tryouts just for fun. Fans should be allowed to attend the tryouts too. If we are going to stink it up at certain positions might as well make it entertaining. 🙂

  48. Petty Officer Buc Says:

    I know the coaching was bad last year but Dirk Koetter has still been around the NFL for a while and isn’t completely incompetent.

    It has to be hubris to convince yourself that the new coaching staff is so great that you can do much more winning with much less talent.

  49. Rod Munch Says:

    Loyaltotheend – The Bucs are actually the worst professional sports franchise, period, in terms of win percentage, at .385.

    Next is the Minnesota Timberwolves at . 397.

    I think I did the math at one point, but if I remember correctly the Bucs would need to go like 11-5 for the next 7 years straight to pass the Timberwolves.

  50. Rod Munch Says:

    Some quotes on the Ginger singing last year…

    “Rod Munch Says:
    March 19th, 2018 at 6:01 pm
    Isn’t anyone else concerned that he’s a ginger? He’s going to have to wear gallons of sunblock to just make it through camp and other players are going to be slipping and falling all over the place around him as he sweats it off. This is a legit concern that I hope they address.

    “DB55 Says:
    March 19th, 2018 at 6:25 pm

    I’m glad you mentioned the ginger and not me. Lol. I’m yet to meet a ginger that can handle this sun but wtfdik?”

    “Chris@Apple Roof Cleaning Tampa Says:
    March 19th, 2018 at 7:43 pm
    Rod Munch has a good point, Jensen is a Ginger. When the last name Jensen is spelled Jensen, it tells you he is of Nordic decent. It’s that SEN thing.
    IOW, he is at least part Viking
    The concerns about handling the Florida Sun are real, in my experience
    I have had to let a few red haired/fair skinned employees go from my roof cleaning company over the years, because they just could not handle the Sun.”

    Back to 2019… I guess it’s a good thing we got that tent built.

    Anywho, as far as I know, no one slipped on the lotion that Jensen had sitting around – so I guess I’m fake news.

  51. GhostofSchiano Says:

    Tackleblockwin Says:
    So maybe we should have open tryouts just for fun. Fans should be allowed to attend the tryouts too. If we are going to stink it up at certain positions might as well make it entertaining.

    Hell, lets go one better, pay $5000.00, sign a hold harmless agreement, and you can suit up for a kick off. Run down the field and try to tackle the runner.

    For $10,000.00 kick a point after attempt, would have just a good a chance as Santos of making it.

  52. Howard Cosell Says:

    Carpet-bagging scheme glazer must be upset by the state of the Bucs


  53. BucEmUp Says:

    I’m glad to have had the privilege to learn from all of the expert commenters today that coaching is 100% irrelevant and that big name players and spending money is how you win games. It’s been working out for the Bucs right?

  54. tmaxcon Says:

    Defense Rules

    You are well trained Glazer fan cherry picking stats to justify pure failure. Anyway you slice it pal bucs own the worst winning percentage in nfl and the glazers have no intentions of improving it.

  55. joestang Says:

    Time to start scouting college players for 2020. We should have the #1 or 2 pic in draft. We do excel at losing. I see this trend continuing next year. 4-12 sounds about right and Licht will still be here. WOW

  56. Howard Cosell Says:

    Howard has given it some thought and he knows why Licht was retained:
    Ig scheme glazer fires Licht then there’s no insulation between them and their customers/team, they become uncomfortably exposed. Retaining Licht they maintain that buffer zone as well as not having to admit their abject failure in the NFL

  57. Howard Cosell Says:


  58. John B Says:

    I have to believe BA is calling every move – no way he came out of the booth to let JL do the shopping –

    Seems like they are using this year to truly gauge what they think they see on film and they can be 9-7 with this roster

    It’s only March, plenty of time to plug holes, especially after the draft when a large group of overpaid vets get cut for their younger replacements

    My hope is BA is in control – I think the draft will tell a lot about that

  59. Bucsfanman Says:

    Tip of the hat Joe! Thanks for cleaning it up.