Some Comedy To Start Your Day

July 25th, 2018

Punching bag.

It is midnight Wednesday morning as this post is published. And Joe thought he would bring laughter to help you through hump day.

And the source of Joe’s snickering is the PFF tribe. You know, the modern day Vince Lombardis, where they have everything on a football field figured out yet somehow can’t get jobs in the NFL running a team. Odd, isn’t it?

The PFF tribe is fairly predictable. They label certain players skunks before they are drafted and no matter how well they may play or how well their own coaches and/or front office staffs grade them out, the PFF tribe will continue to tar and feather them.

Speaking of predictable, there are four things predictable each season from Bucs fans (and to a degree all NFL fans): They will pick one player to loathe and try to run out of town, they will complain about playcalling, they will kvetch about the offensive line and they will holler about Chris Conte.

Yes, it is just a matter of days before ConteHate flares up again. But this time, the PFF tribe beat Bucs fans to the punch.

The PFF tribe has the Bucs’ secondary ranked second-worst in the NFL (even with Brent Grimes!). Why is that? The tribe is of the mind Conte is an evildoer and will single-handedly drag down the defense.

Starting cornerback: Brent Grimes, 82.0 grade
Safety: Chris Conte, 74.6
Safety: Justin Evans, 69.8
Starting cornerback: Vernon Hargreaves III, 72.9
Nickel cornerback: Carlton Davis, 82.0* (2017 college grade)

This ranking reflects not only the uncertainty at corner in Tampa Bay, but also the ineptitude at safety. Conte will once again be starting despite never having earned a grade of 75.0 or higher for his entire career. Last year’s second-round pick Evans will likely start as well, but his missed-tackle problem from college carried over to the pros where he was 61st out of 72 starting safeties last year in tackling efficiency.

Folks, let Joe tell you: If the Bucs have a rookie starting at corner opposite of Grimes, that is a way bigger problem than Conte.

Look, second-round pick Carlton Davis, who appears to be the odds-on favorite at this date to win the starting corner gig opposite of Grimes, is going to be expected to play like a seasoned pro immediately facing in succession to start the season Drew Brees, Carson Wentz and Ben Roethlisberger.

And if Davis isn’t starting, then it very well could be Ryan Smith. That’s no better.

Joe is sure glad someone or some people at One Buc Palace have a ton of confidence and faith in Davis or Smith.

40 Responses to “Some Comedy To Start Your Day”

  1. Tampaspicer Says:

    Good d line makes the secondary’s play easier. I’m hoping that’s the case for this season.

  2. Jeffbuc Says:

    Just read a great article breaking down what plays we called the most and what are tendencies were offensively. Only using quarters 1-3 so the score wouldn’t slant the numbers to much if we were losing or laugh cough winning. We ran the ball more than any other team on first down in the nfl last year. And had the worst first down running yards per carry. How can a columnist break this down and figure it out in a day. But koetter can’t change. I always thought we ran it up the middle a lot on first down. But I thought it was just me being an over critical fan. But no we really did. He said the top ten offenses in the league were pretty much the exact opposite of our play calls. By being so horrible on first down it set us up for failure on 2nd and 3rd. When most teams had second and short we were always second and long therefore the defense could dictate there coverage to a pass. And we would be set up for failure even more. While the pats where the best at first down they could dictate 2nd down with a pass or run. Pretty interesting nugget that i hope koetter doesn’t have to read to realize his failures on first down. But I can pretty much guarantee the first two offensive play calls in New Orleans week One will be running plays. Then forced to pass on 3rd and 7 and punt.

  3. Joe Says:


    Got a better question for you that Joe has been asking for months.

    Why did Koetter hand the ball off to Martin so much the past two years when it was clear the guy was done? Also throw in the fact that Jameis had a higher percentage of first down completions than anyone in the NFL (yes, the most), it makes it even more baffling.

    Joe’s not anti-Koetter. Still, for the life of Joe, he does not and did not understand his infatuation with Martin.

    However, Joe cannot say the offense was a failure. It was one of the best in the NFL. Only one team better than the Bucs missed the playoffs. Problem was scoring points.

  4. Duthsty Rhothdes Says:

    jeffbuc, im wondering if that is because of koetters lack of confidence in jameis based on where the bucs are on the field….also im pretty sure koetter gives jameis a few plays to audible in to so maybe some of it is jameis making bad adjustments, love to hear a coaching tape w points on it

  5. passthebuc Says:

    And why is this comedy

  6. Joe Says:

    And why is this comedy

    Because the PFF tribe gives Joe a pain in his ribs he laughs so much at much of their caca.

  7. Joe Says:

    Duthsty Rhothdes:

    Koetter is way confident with Jameis, except for running the ball. We all know why.

    FYI, Koetter has been fairly open about this: Jameis is so confident in his abilities that whatever Koetter calls, Jameis thinks that play will work. Koetter has even said he has called a play and then saw the defense break huddle and thought to himself, “Oh, no!” because the defense broke out into a formation that is perfect to defend what Koetter called.

    Still, Jameis runs with the play (because he thinks he can make any play work) and sometimes does makes it work. Koetter has said he longs for the day Jameis comes back to him after freelancing/audibling and telling Koetter, “You dumbass, that was the worst playcall you could make.”

  8. Back2bucball Says:

    Hi Joe, good late night or early morning to you. My question is if Jameis is so confident with coach and his play calls, and the play to Godwin to end the season was jameis changing the play, do you think K coach wants to see more of that on an in game basis if it’s needed or do you think he will get frustrated with jameis if it’s gets to be more than once or twice? I live in Ohio now and I really miss all the local coverage and training camp fun. Your site brings out the best buc fan in me and even tho it’s your job, can we all just truly enjoy this coming season.. Life is too short not 2

  9. Bobby M. Says:

    D-line was terrible, secondary was worse…..Not much can mask that but ball control/clock management.

  10. Knoxville Buc Fan Says:

    Joe, don’t quit your day job. It’s enough to read all off season how you guys just butcher the dog s*** out of this team. Granted most of our starting secondary would be playing candy crush on the bench while riding the pine. With that said we all know it starts up front. If You ain’t getting nothing from that dline then your db’s are gonna have a hell of a time playing catch up. Unless of course your an exceptional player as Grimes is… quoting my all time favorite comedian not named Joe. Eddie Murphy in the movie Trading Places~ “HAHA VERY FUNNY FUTHERMUCKER

  11. Dooshlarue Says:

    Hilarious article Joe.
    Your insistence on using the word “kvetch” always kills me.

  12. Bird Says:

    If they are not seeing some of the safeties step up after a few weeks of camp……

    Well there are 2 or 3 starting safeties just sitting at home waiting for a call and have played in nfl long enough to pick up a system rather quickly . And I am not a conte hater at all? Nope . Just making the point that you should always upgrade the talent of your team at any position when given the opportunity and for whatever reason the safety position is not valued these days
    (It used to be running back to a certain extent until the Rams just gave their stud 15 mil /year)

  13. Bucsfanman Says:

    Competent, pressuring d-line play will help the secondary. Conte is NOT the problem. Is he perfect? No. But, name a SAFETY that can cover other teams’ #1 or #2 WR when they’re flying by our DBs. Here’s a hint: There isn’t one.
    I’m hoping last year’s abomination was an aberration. If our defense plays that poorly again, we’re looking at the same or worse record. In short, everybody gets fired!
    I’m cautiously optimistic that the improvements in talent will translate on the field of play.
    Go Bucs!

  14. HFXBUC Says:

    “They will pick one player to loathe and try to run out of town, they will complain about playcalling, they will kvetch about the offensive line and they will holler about Chris Conte.”

    — so what you’re saying is that PFF are members of the Stick Carriers

  15. Defense Rules Says:

    @Jeffbuc … “By being so horrible on first down it set us up for failure on 2nd and 3rd. When most teams had second and short we were always second and long therefore the defense could dictate there coverage to a pass.”

    Great discussion Jeffbuc, but I’m not sure about your conclusions. What I see is that the Bucs were in fact horrible running the ball on 1st down, but contrary to setting us “for failure on 2nd & 3rd down” we actually made the SECOND MOST 1ST DOWNS IN THE NFL in 2017 … a total of 352. We did that by: (1) Rushing … 76 times (#26 ranking); (2) Passing … 243 times (#1 ranking); and (3) Penalties … 33 times (#11 ranking).

    It looks to me like our percentage rushing on 1st down was roughly the same as our percentage rushing plays for the game (we pretty much suck running the ball BTW). For the last 3 yrs, here’s how the rushing % per game broke out in Koetter’s time here:

    o 2017: 37.7% rushing plays (#30 in NFL)
    o 2016: 42.5% rushing plays (#9 in NFL)
    o 2015: 44.7% rushing plays (#9 in NFL)

    We’ve sucked at rushing FOR 1st downs in 2 of the last 3 yrs. In 2017 Bucs were #30 (only 21.6% of our rushing attempts led to 1st downs). In 2016 Bucs were #29 (with 23.5% rushes leading to 1st downs), but in 2015 we were #14 (with 29.5% rushes leading to 1st downs).

    The only real conclusion IMO is that we have to improve our running game … period. Koetter obviously wants to run the ball (on 1st down AND throughout the game), but it hasn’t worked (at least in 2016 & 2017). Part of that I think was on Martin (and the other RBs), part of it was on the OLine, and part of that was on Koetter for his play-calling. Hopefully RoJo & Barber can improve upon the abysmal production we’ve been getting.

  16. The Buc Realist Says:

    You have to play rookies at some point!!!!!! Otherwise the team will play bad players like conte year after year seeing “rookies mistakes” year after year from that below average player with the team getting bad results!!!!!!!!!!

    This is the problem when joe and the sheep over evaluate the talent on the team!!!!!! They think the table is set and that this year is the ultimate test!!!!!!! the team has good coaches the talent is growing on the team is the truth of the matter!!!!!! Play the rookies and they will make as many mistakes as conte, then next year the Bucs will be better for it!!!!!!!!

  17. 813bucboi Says:

    However, Joe cannot say the offense was a failure. It was one of the best in the NFL. Only one team better than the Bucs missed the playoffs. Problem was scoring points.

    how was the offense one of the best if they had problems scoring?…..I thought the objective was to score….if you fail at scoring, how can you be considered one of the best?…..that’s like saying he’s a good tackler, but misses a ton of tackles…..


  18. 813bucboi Says:

    here’s rhealist with his talent excuse again……oh boy…..someone help him pull his skirt down!!!!!


  19. TX Bucs fan Says:

    Reports are that Earl Thomas is “done” in Seattle. I do like Djax, but we are loaded at WR. Why not make that trade? Seattle has a need at WR, but can we afford to pay Thomas?

  20. Lamarcus Says:

    Conte is boo boo

    Same secondary personal looking for different results.

  21. I’m a Tandyman Bucs Fan Says:

    Conte is a Coaches Favorite That’s why he plays. And I told you guys Evans couldn’t tackle Mam Maw. If they aren’t going to play my man Tandy, who in 2016 when the Bucs won, led the NFL in tackles and interceptions during that 6 game winning streak, they should have gone out and got a top tier Safety. Bucsfanman is right again the great receivers that get by our weak ass Corners (besides Grimes) leaves our Safety’s in vulnerable positions and when you got people like Conte and Evans and Weed Whacker Ward back there that can’t tackle the other team scores more points and they win, SIMPLE AS THAT!!!! Defensive Line with Quarterback pressure will certainly help but our Secondary has to really perform this season or I’m afraid we are in for more of what we have been getting!!! Plus Fitz has to be a beast until everyone’s Super Hero gets back from his 3 game suspension to save the day!!!! Dah dah dah!!!

  22. BucNole Says:

    @JOE. . . any chance you can change up this here site to include more features such as – reply to comments and like comments??? It would be a welcome change for all of us Im sure. . . just a thought

  23. Godeep66 Says:

    My biggest fear is that our beloved box will go out and pick up a washed up has been defensive back that will only be here to pick up a game check. This does appear to be a track record for this organization. I would suggest that they play the young players that they drafted and give them a real opportunity to prove themselves. I would assume they were drafted to eventually play

  24. Godeep66 Says:

    Bucs not Box. Siri sucks

  25. D-Rome Says:

    Man, PFF really confuses me. Last year they rated Chris Conte in the top 5 of all NFL safeties when it comes to opposing quarterbacks passer rating. Every person that trashes Conte *never* explains themselves when they are called out on it. It’s as if this hivemind takes over where it’s en-vogue to pile on Conte but they are incapable of explaining why he is so bad.

  26. Reality_43 Says:

    Davis just might be a stud, a la Lattimore or Ramsey.
    You just never know.
    Wasn’t Grimes and Undrafted guy?

  27. Reality_43 Says:

    If we shed Jackson’s salary we can

  28. Pickgrin Says:

    Tandyman – Conte is a “Coaches Favorite”??? Evans sucks and “can’t tackle”.

    Evans as a rookie was the most talented safety on the Bucs roster last year. It was easy to see and the kid has a good ways to go before he hits his ceiling. Can’t tackle? Why because some prominent talking head stuck him with that label coming out of college? I didn’t see much evidence of Justin Evans whiffing tackles when he started 9 games last year. Did you? Got a link or multiple specific instances you can site? Didn’t think so….

    Conte is a current starter because he’s the best available player at SS and also has a good bit more game experience than Tandy.

    When Whitehead or some other young player shows more natural talent with potential for an upgrade and/or specifically more IMPACT on the field – then that young player will supplant Conte as the starter – but not until.

    Kieth Tandy has carved out a really nice NFL career for himself as a 6th rd draft pick, but the idea that he should be starting because he’s better than the other safeties on the Bucs roster is pretty exclusively yours.

    I’m not knocking Kieth at all – he’s a smart, solid and inexpensive backup swing safety that contributes on special teams. Every team needs a couple or few “glue” guys like this. He’s a great teammate – he helps the younger players learn and if a starter goes down – he can be counted on to look like he belongs on an NFL field and make a play or 2 that comes his way.

    But there are reasons Tandy was a 6th rd pick – Conte was a 3rd and Evans was a mid-2nd. Just like there are reasons that Conte has started 90 NFL games and Tandy only 15 in a similar time frame. Those reasons do NOT include someone being a “coaches favorite”.

    Just Sayin.

  29. I’m a Tandyman Bucs Fan Says:

    Pickering…. Some good points you have there. I do however stick with some of my points. I can count numerous games Evans missed many tackles. Go back and wTch the Atlanta games. Conte has started many more games than Tandy and look at the results. When Conte got hurt Keith stepped in and the Bucs excelled. Just sayin!!!

  30. I’m a Tandyman Bucs Fan Says:

    Pickgrin…..Also it doesn’t matter when your drafted!! Ever hear of a guy named Tom Brady??? I think he was drafted in the 6th Round!!! Now don’t misconstrue me saying Tandy is Brady quality because they were drafted in the same round. All I’m saying is that I know first hand #37 is a winner!!! He isn’t a chump that ended up in the NFL Out of West Virginia and has been resigned 3 times by the Buccaneers!!!! Just Sayin

  31. Pickgrin Says:

    My recollection is that the defense as a whole played great coming out of the bye week in 2016 – and that Conte looked really good too while that was going on. Didn’t Chris have a game winning INT the week before getting hurt?

    Tandy looked amazing for about a 4 game stretch there – no doubt. Plays were coming his way and he was making them – including 2 game winning INTs I believe.

    The pass rush for that 5 game stretch leading up to the Dallas and Saints losses – was better than any I have seen from a Buccaneers DLine in the last 10 years. This to me is the best explanation of why Tandy (and Conte before he got hurt) looked like an All Pro suddenly 5 years into his/their career(s) and not since.

    Its also what gives me great hope that this year’s team – with all the DL improvements – can play really good defense and win a bunch of games!

    Go Bucs!

  32. I’m a Tandyman Bucs Fan Says:

    Pickgrin….I’m with you brother!!! I think with all the things that happened off season we should be in the hunt for a lot of wins this season!!! If not I’m putting it on the Coaching Staff. It will hurt us the first 3 games but after that I feel we should be in every game!!! Pretty excited about this year. Still think Tandy should start ahead of Conte!!!! LOL GO BUCS!!!!!!

  33. stpetebucsfan Says:

    I agree with Bucsfanman

    “Competent, pressuring d-line play will help the secondary.”

    It absolutely should!!! If our DL steps it up as much as we hope…then it’s on our DB’s.

    We keep reading about Brees and Matty Ice and how will our DB’s hold up…whether it’s Conte or a rookie CB like Davis against this competition. Again football is a team game…if we get no pressure on the QB ala 2017 then I feel pretty sure our DB’s are going to reek. If our DL and LB’s play well I think our DB’s come out looking a lot better.

  34. Bucsfanman Says:

    Tandyman, my man! I knew you’d have some commentary on this one.
    I think for once, we have some real deal depth at certain positions. When you have that kind of depth, you get some real interesting position battles. There’s definitely room on this roster for multiple safeties and I think Tandy will get some playing time. Can he beat out Conte? Well, we’ll find out soon enough, won’t we! 🙂
    With improved d-line play, the secondary stands to benefit.

  35. Joe Says:

    “Competent, pressuring d-line play will help the secondary.”

    It absolutely should!!! If our DL steps it up as much as we hope…then it’s on our DB’s.

    It is hardly an absolute. A good coordinator can always find a way to buy an extra second or so for a quarterback to throw. In the NFL, there is no way to hide a bad corner.

  36. I’m a Tandyman Bucs Fan Says:

    Bucsfanman my man!!! You know I gotta give my man his props. Yeah he’s going to play, has all 6 years there. Just hoping for more reps. Having coached him in H.S. I know how he’s wired!! Bonna Fide W I N N N E R! Yeah should be some real battles this Trsining Camp with all the talent because there will be 53 people that think they should start. Bet there’s probably going to be some flat out fights on the practice field at One Buc Place this summer! Wish I was 26 again so I could kick some Rookies ass and show him a little Sumin Sumin!!! LOL! Man I’m juiced for this year! Keep spitting them words of wisdom BFMMM. Your my man!!! GO BUCS!!!!

  37. stpetebucsfan Says:


    Well we get to disagree about this one. There are two coordinators. A skilled OC MAY be able to find the weak link at CB with lots of quick slants…but an equally skilled DC can compensate and hide that weakness. Assuming that DL play is excellent there won’t be time for deep passes which really shortens the field for all DB’s.

    Brees and Matty Ice are similar in that they continually step up in the pocket and largely let the outside pressure flow behind them. If Vea is what we hope he is and can simply move that center of the line back then Brees and Matty Ice will not be able to step up.

    If JPP has an average year and Spence returns healthy we should be able to get some outside pressure. I remember the game when Jack Smith blew up in NO
    and the rest of the DL played well. Brees was running around like a chicken with his head cut off. I could have played CB that game. OK that’s hyperbole but you get my drift.

  38. Bucsfanman Says:

    stpete and Joe- Good points. A good DC should be able to adjust to opposing offenses. My only issue with my own statement is that we are relying on the very same DC who led the league WORST defense to make these adjustments. Smitty better have his ‘A’ game!

  39. Bucsfanman Says:

    Tandyman- I’m psyched too bro! I’ll be rooting for your boy! Shoot, now I am fired up!!!

  40. Trench War Says:

    I got it! We play 3 CB’s and 1 strong safety. Double the weak corner.