Inside Dirk Koetter’s Welcome Speech

April 16th, 2018

BY IRA KAUFMAN

Dirk Koetter has been thinking about this moment for the past 15 weeks.

He’s had almost four months to prepare appropriate remarks for his players as they return to One Buc Place. And although the games don’t count until September, the right message delivered powerfully in the spring could resonate throughout the 2018 season.

When the Bucs packed their belongings Jan. 1, they didn’t have much to celebrate. O.J. Howard, Chris Godwin, Kendell Beckwith and Justin Evans had reason to feel good about their rookie seasons, but as a team, Tampa Bay woefully underachieved.

Since that 5-11 travesty concluded, Koetter and his coaching staff have tried to sift through the wreckage. They tried to figure out what they could have done better while Jason Licht beat himself up over personnel mistakes.

The Hard Knocks cameras won’t be around this summer and hopefully hurricane season won’t rob the Bucs of their bye week again. Last year was last year, so Koetter is eager to address a new roster with an old objective — end this absurd playoff drought.

Buc fans watched teams like the Rams and Jaguars turn around their fortunes last fall, begging the question: what about us?

Koetter says expectations inside the building are high, so he has no intentions of marking the 2018 season on a curve. As he addresses the team from the front of the meeting room, here’s a preview of what might go down from the head coach this week.

“Greetings to the guys who were on our 2017 roster and a warm welcome to our new players. Teams change every year and we’re no different. What doesn’t change are our goals, and we fell well short last season.

“We are looking forward to a healthy Jameis Winston, our hardest worker and a young player we feel is on the cusp of greatness. It’s my job to utilize the weapons around Jameis and make us a more efficient offensive team.

“The addition of Ryan Jensen will help the interior of our offensive line and I am confident we will be a better running team. We have to be, because that’s the only way our play-action will work.

“I’d like to ask Chandler Catanzaro to stand up. We signed Chandler to give us stability at the kicking position. We were 3-7 in one-score games, so a better kicking game will be critical to our success.

DeSean Jackson committment

“Is DeSean Jackson here? DeSean, I’d like to apologize to you for not getting the football to you often enough. That’s on me. We brought you here to be a difference-maker, a guy who would make defenses pay for trying to constrict the field. But you didn’t catch a single pass of at least 50 yards all year, and that’s inexcusable. I know you and Jameis have been working on your timing and I’m looking forward to a different chemistry.

“As you know, we have added four new defensive linemen to beef up our ass rush and make us tougher to run against. Glad to have Brent Grimes back. Say hello to Miko, Brent. This is a big year for Vernon Hargreaves and he knows it. We still believe in you, Vernon, and we’re counting on tighter coverage. No more 10-yard cushions, right?

“In closing, I want all of you to know that our fans are sticking with us. Let the national media write us off, but we have a group who call themselves the Stick Carriers and we owe it to them to make this season fun and exciting. You’ll see them at training camp and believe me, you’ll hear them as well. Let’s give them something to shout about.

“Every person in this building is fighting for their job. Nothing is guaranteed in this game and we have to be a tougher team to play against.

“That’s about all I have to say. Ready? One, two, three … BADASS.”


Ira Kaufman is the most revered sports personality and writer in town. He has hung his hat at JoeBucsFan.com world headquarters since July 2016. Tampa Bay’s only Pro Football Hall of Fame voter, Ira busts out columns here every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and his award winning podcasts fire Tuesdays and Thursdays. You can also hear Ira on SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio Wednesdays during football season, and see him now on Mondays at 10:30 p.m. on Spectrum Sports 360 (aka BayNews 9). Ira also is part of the FOX-13 Tailgate Sunday and enjoys beet salads, Riesling, Chiefs victories and needling Joe.

42 Responses to “Inside Dirk Koetter’s Welcome Speech”

  1. StPeteBucsFan Says:

    Well said Ira. Let’s hope the guys pay attention to Koetter when he says it.

    I believe they will. 7 one score games give us hope for optimism. NO 813 it doesn’t change our horrible record from last year and so we’re not claiming an excuse to make 2017 look better.

    OTOH we would like to give the team an unemotional analysis. They are not that far away from either side of the abyss. They could fall back in and nobody would be surprised…they could win 10-11 and make the playoffs and nobody SHOULD be surprised there either.

    I think we are right on the edge…it can go either way.

  2. BucFanFromOH Says:

    Well said and here’s to the 2018 season!

  3. Dave Says:

    Zero margin for error helps to evoke tremendous focus on the mission. It’s not just this job…who else will hire you if you ran the Bucs franchise into the ground? ‘No excuses; only results will satisfy’ is likely to be Dirk’s message to the team.

  4. Pickgrin Says:

    “beef up our ass rush”

    LOL – sometimes autocorrect really DOES know best…

  5. NFLNut Says:

    ^ HAHAHAHAHAHHA

  6. Bucsfanman Says:

    I hope that’s not the best Ira can do!
    I was envisioning something like:
    “Welcome Buccaneers! This is the beginning of a new era in Buc football. We are going to erase the history books of our spectre of losing. When the final whistle blows, we will know, the other team will know that they were in a battle. We will be the neighborhood bada$$ that will hit you in the mouth over and over. When you get up, we’ll hit you in the mouth again!”
    “DeSean, Jameis? I want to see highlight reels that last for decades! Jensen, where you at? You’re so ugly there shouldn’t be any question of why YOU are here! Vernon, you and Brent will be roommates. You will shadow him in press coverage night and day. You will become him! Life is short in the NFL, don’t forget it”
    “Where’s our new kicker? Dude, I’m telling you up front. You have ONE job! Do it!”
    “We are done embarrassing ourselves and disappointing our fans. There is no next year. There is only today. Now, go knock somebody’s head off!!!”

  7. 813bucboi Says:

    cj Anderson released…..he would be a great fit IF dirk decides to pound the rock…..gives us more flexibility in the draft to go all or mostly defense……

    #NOEXCUSESIN2018!!!!!….GO BUCS!!!!!

  8. Steve in Mad Beach Says:

    I can see the benefit of a beefed up ass rush. As long as we’re not on the receiving end!

  9. Bucsfanman Says:

    ^^LMAO!

    813- CJ would be a nice addition and take some pressure off of their draft decisions.

  10. BucNole Says:

    I just hope Koetter has more balls in his opening remarks to the team than that crap. . . that was pitiful
    Here is all I want to hear ” Welcome to Tampa Bay Buccaneers Football. We will be a tough, detail oriented football team. Our offense will score points – our defense will kick some ass.
    We have one goal – A Super Bowl Ring
    Report to your area rooms for more info.
    Kick Ass! Dismissed

  11. Jmarkbuc Says:

    Agreed BucNole

    If it goes anything like that, it will be another candy ass training camp.

  12. Horse Liver Says:

    I hope Koetter shows up enraged over the travesty that was 2017 and breaks furniture, smashes trash cans, and bashes a wall in the an axe.

  13. AtlBucs Says:

    That is what we are this year Ira: “The Badass Bucs!”

  14. Mikadeemas Says:

    CL-ASS-IC!!

  15. Dooshlarue Says:

    Ira, you forgot:
    “ Gerald, please put your phone down and pay attention …….. you don’t need to buy any more Batman dolls on Ebay, you’re here to work remember”?

  16. Joseph Mamma Says:

    God I hope we have a head coach that wouldn’t feel the need to apologize to a wide receiver because his stats were down. Give me a freakin break.

  17. Jjones Says:

    “We still believe in you, Vernon, and we’re counting on tighter coverage. No more 10-yard cushions, right?”

    Talk about getting called out, LOL! Glad Dirk showed some balls there tbh. This is your year VH3, don’t let it slip into the 5th realm of hell.

  18. Jmarkbuc Says:

    Amen

    Jo Mamma

  19. 813bucboi Says:

    the main thing I want dirk to say is that he wont be running another soft TC and he’s going to commit to the run game…..I hope he tells them to be ready cause this TC will be physical with the tempo and urgency sky high with practices starting at 1pm…..no more babyin!!!!!

    #NOEXCUSESIN2018!!!!….GO BUCS!!!!!

  20. Jolly Bucs Fan Says:

    “beef up our ass rush”

    Koetter keeping his priorities straight I see

  21. Jolly Bucs Fan Says:

    Serious note:

    “No more 10-yard cushions, right?” damn, straight up calling out VHIII. Love it.

    “We have a group who call themselves the Stick Carriers and we owe it to them to make this season fun and exciting. You’ll see them at training camp and believe me, you’ll hear them as well. Let’s give them something to shout about.”

    Gotta love the love Koetter showing the fans here.

    “That’s about all I have to say. Ready? One, two, three … BADASS.”

    Hell yes. Great motto/theme for the year.

  22. BringBucsBack Says:

    Why do we keep blaming Hargraves for being so far off of the ball? I see the other corners just as far off. It’s the crappy scheme isn’t it? No, maybe Hargraves is not a great corner but, who would be under those circumstances?

    Not Getting the ball to Jackson enough was not Koetter’s fault but, J-miss’.

  23. Jolly Bucs Fan Says:

    oh damn – I misread this as actual quotes not a preview of what might be said, well if it does go like that, id sure be pleased.

  24. Jmarkbuc Says:

    Just for the record,

    IMHO, this stick carriers thing is way played out…. I mean DK makes one locker room comment and Buc fans turned it into some misguided mantra, one that the Bucs made no attempt to uphold.

    As a fan, saying you are a stick carrier just makes you an accomplice, not to mention that saying “I’m a stick carrier! I’m a stick carrier!” Is directly contradictory to the phrase that started it in the first place….

    Buc fans should be demanding the Bucs to WALK THE WALK. Enough talking already.

    P.S. And also, I don’t care if we manage to acquire all of the top five first round picks this year, the first JBFer to say we ” won the offseason” should be suspended for four games……

  25. Frank Pillow Says:

    The message should be much more clear:

    NO MORE EXCUSES. EVERYONE’S REPUTATION IS AT STAKE. EVERYONE’S JOB IS ON THE LINE. MENTAL & PHYSICAL TOUGHNESS IS PARAMOUNT. GO HARD. GO FAST. IT’S OUR TIME TO WIN!

  26. Bird Says:

    Yah.

    That s not what was said. Ira was joking on what might be said. People are upset over something that actually never happened except in ira’s head

    Best fans in the world?

  27. Jjones Says:

    Jolly, I misread that also. I thought that’s what Koetter said as well.

  28. I'm a Tandyman Bucs Fan Says:

    Give 110 daily!!! No passes to anyone on this squad , I mean NO ONE. Get the job done or your ass will be on the pine. My ass is on the line and I plan on being back in 2019.!!!!!! So perform and earn your spot or you will be departing One Bucs Place with me……I’m FREAKIN TIRED OF LOSING!!!! Go Bucs!!!! Now Lets Get It!!!!

  29. BucswinBucswin Says:

    Dumb

  30. Kobe Faker Says:

    Klueless is a coordinator….

    Apologise to a entitiled selfish half a$$ route runner reciever???

    These are not words of a Head Coach

    “Leader of men? Klueless, you are not”

    Kobe Faker

  31. Phil Says:

    Hopefully he will run a much tougher training camp than he did last year. The team was unprepared for the regular season. Mental mistakes were killer.

  32. Mike Johnson Says:

    Koetters comments leads one to beleive we are going Defensive backs, a RB and an O lineman in this draft. He thinks he has enough pass rush but he is..wrong. We do need yet another pass rusher. We..shall see. Its poop or get off the pot time for him and his sidekick Smitty. Let da games began Baby!!!!!!!!!!!

  33. Not there yet Says:

    It didn’t come from koetter and I don’t expect it to be anything like that so that was a wasted read

  34. StPeteBucsFan Says:

    Man is this an unhappy crowd or what. I don’t think IRA meant Koetter was actually going to say that.

    I took IRA”s piece as a metaphor and a way to critique and review 2007.

    So a significant group here hate some of our players…notably our two biggest stars…#3 and GMC…they hate our coaches…..what the eff are you rooting for in 2018…to be embarrassed by your hyperbole when the Bucs play well or in the hopes that they stumble again so your hatred gets some validation.

  35. Bucsfanman Says:

    To lighten things back up, here’s a Fanman “flashback”:

    Bucsfanman Says:
    April 16th, 2018 at 10:42 am

    I hope that’s not the best Ira can do!
    I was envisioning something like:
    “Welcome Buccaneers! This is the beginning of a new era in Buc football. We are going to erase the history books of our spectre of losing. When the final whistle blows, we will know, the other team will know that they were in a battle. We will be the neighborhood bada$$ that will hit you in the mouth over and over. When you get up, we’ll hit you in the mouth again!”
    “DeSean, Jameis? I want to see highlight reels that last for decades! Jensen, where you at? You’re so ugly there shouldn’t be any question of why YOU are here! Vernon, you and Brent will be roommates. You will shadow him in press coverage night and day. You will become him! Life is short in the NFL, don’t forget it”
    “Where’s our new kicker? Dude, I’m telling you up front. You have ONE job! Do it!”
    “We are done embarrassing ourselves and disappointing our fans. There is no next year. There is only today. Now, go knock somebody’s head off!!!”

    The hypothetical speech!

  36. BucFanFromOH Says:

    @Bucsfanman

    Did you seriously copy your own comment from the SAME post into the SAME comment section? Seriously?

  37. 813bucboi Says:

    FRANK

    I AGREE!!!!!!!

    #NOEXCUSESIN2018!!!!!!….GO BUCS!!!!!!!

  38. Bucsfanman Says:

    Ohio- Um, yes, yes I did! LOL!
    I was trying to out-Realist the Realist!!!!!

  39. Bucsfanman Says:

    Too soon?!

  40. BucFanFromOH Says:

    @Bucsfanman

    Well anything to out-Realist the Realist! That gals posts make me miss tmax. Carry on!

  41. unbelievable Says:

    well sh!t, I skipped right to the quote and got all excited for a couple seconds…

  42. unbelievable Says:

    Also, I like Bucsfanman’s speech WAYYYYYYYYYY BETTER!

    Thats what I really want to hear from DK this season! Go Bucs!