Getting Dirty With It

August 22nd, 2017

Tree sex?

If practice-hating defensive tackle Chris Baker doesn’t make one tackle in his Bucs days, he will be remembered for having one of the strangest fetishes Joe has ever heard of.

There are some weird cats out there who like to do lurid things with objects but Baker may have taken the cake (or the bark) as seen on “Hard Knocks” tonight.

In short, Baker got dirty with a tree.

In a scene where Bucs stud defensive tackle Gerald McCoy sprung for food trucks for lunch while the Bucs were practicing against the Jags in Jacksonville, “Swaggy” Baker suddenly found himself in the mood.

First he danced with a tree then he used the tree as a stripper pole (you know, like the kind former Bucs receiver Mike Williams allegedly owned?), then Baker began hugging the tree, then he began tonguing the tree and at that point, well, Joe’s mind went blank.

It was just weird.

Joe just hopes Baker is a helluva player. Right now, Baker is only known for sitting out practice, not practicing three plays in a row, dancing on BSPN while the four-letter is trying to interview America’s Quarterback, Pro Bowler Jameis Winston, heckling kickers on his own team, and now grinding on a tree.

15 Responses to “Getting Dirty With It”

  1. Lamarcus Says:

    He to me seems more a character than a football player. So we have 2 playful dts. I wish to see some nastiness of someone outta that dline maybe it’s archive idk.

    On to next, can mcDonald satisfy my craving for a nasty old Scholls dline? Spence , anyone? Where is ayers? I might sound crazy but I’m old school. This show has are dline looking personality challenged. Lol

    Thats my only rant so far. Show is good. Winston is God send. My goodness.

  2. Howard Cosell Says:

    Is this in reference to practice-hating, photo-bombing, kicker-heckling, tree-sexing Chris Baker?

  3. Rod Munch Says:

    Uh oh, Baker is showing too much personality and isn’t a boring guy who just says boring things, people are going to hate that.

    Also Joe how dare you judge someone for being attracted to palm trees? Amazing in 2017 people are still being judged like this. #SayNoToPalmTreeLoveHaters

  4. Birdman Says:

    The Joes and Ira just flat out don’t like Swaggy.. The team seems to love him, he was a sack leader in Washington last year, let him play some regular season games before you bury him.

  5. CautiousOptimism Says:

    Would love to hear what Licht and Koeter think of Fatty Baker thus far. Something tells me this will be another moment when Licht fans will get to praise him once again for not holding on to a mistake. These praises are becoming all too frequent.

  6. Blake_bucsfan Says:

    Shades of Superstar for sure.

    And @Birdman you’re absolutely right. You can’t blame them, they are in fact a bunch of crotchety old geezers.

  7. InJameisWeTrust Says:

    You guys do not like Baker at all……

  8. Rod Munch Says:

    Baker telling the Jags fans they might win 3 games was great. I love trash talking. Football is entertainment, like a movie or anything else, you need good guys, you need bad guys, you need guys who talk trash, etc. The 2002 Bucs talked more trash than I’ve ever seen, and yes that includes the Miami Hurricanes with Sapp and The Rock (although I never heard The Rock talk smack with Miami). I LOVE trash talking and more people need to talk, this boring act like you’ve been there before, lets have all good guys on the team, the Bucs tried that and guess what it got them, 28,000 at a home game versus Carolina. I have no idea if Baker will be good or not but he brings energy and isn’t a dullard, and for that I thank our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

  9. Buc4Lyfe79 Says:

    The content of this particular story just made Bill Cosby & Clinton look good.

  10. Capt.Tim Says:

    Baker is a character, every team Ive ever been on had one.
    As a matter of fact- every band I was ever in had one
    Keep the guys loose in a high pressure situation!
    Hes been pretty funny so far, andvthe team seems to love him.
    And Ive watched his tape from last year- and he can play!

    Although You only want one Character . .

  11. bucs_365 Says:

    He can be funny all he wants, but that’s not what they’re paying him for.

  12. dm4bucs Says:

    How about we let Baker play one regular season game before we kill the guy? I thought he was pretty entertaining and the exact opposite of what you said Kwon is off the field.

  13. Nole on Sat- Bucc on Sun Says:

    Swaggy is a beast,if you can’t see this man ain’t wit giving up his body for practice you slow. Swaggy about GAMEDAY. The Bucs knew this when they signed him. Not one coach has did anything about his practice effort lack there of. Her is going to be a mountain in the middle. This season.

  14. kh Says:

    Baker is the asshole to McCoy’s nice guy demeanor. We need some trash talking assholes on this team, especially in the d-line. I thought this scene was one of the funniest parts of the show, crotchety old men like Ira and the Joes need to lighten the F up.

    PS – anyone that’s still upset about the kicker heckling clearly never played football.

  15. Keir Says:

    I am with you Ira and Joes…I hope this guy lights it up come the regular season because his antics are wearing me thin. He just looks like a lazy clown and we have not had enough greatness on the D-line outside of McCoy to afford that…IMHO