Don’t Go 5-8, Dirk.

May 31st, 2017

Officially lurking

As much as Joe loves Dirk Koetter, godfather of the burgeoning Stick Carrier movement and the greatest first-year Buccaneers head coach since Chucky walked through the door and won the Super Bowl, Joe must stay true to the cold reality of NFL business.

The icy relationship between Chucky and Team Glazer appears to have thawed fully now that the coach fired after back-to-back 9-7 seasons (2007 & 2008) will be inducted into the Buccaneers Ring Of Honor in December.

The announcement came yesterday.

Chucky had moaned publicly in various ways about getting fired by Team Glazer. He was left emotionally crushed. The Fired Football Coaches Association he literally established felt a lot like something a fifth-grader would launch after getting impeached from a student council gig.

Chucky personified “butthurt” before the saying became popular.

Remember Ocala, when Chucky — in 2013! — publicly wagged a finger at Joel Glazer for giving him a game ball in November 2008 (after becoming the winningest coach in franchise history) and then firing him two months later.

But this year, in will come Chucky to Monday Night Football in Tampa on Dec. 18 to accept his huge Bucs honor. It’s Week 15 against the Falcons, and Chucky, with his youngest child nearly out of the house and his ESPN employer hemorrhaging red ink, might be looking to return to coaching.

That’s a very ugly and dangerous combination for Dirk Koetter, if Koetter and the Bucs only have, say, a 5-8 record.

That’s just the straight truth. Anyone can do the math.

Joe adores Koetter and is not lobbying for Chucky. But everything about this Bucs offseason — from the owners to the head coach — screams impatience. It’s win now — with the dynamic franchise QB, coaching continuity and a pile of talent.

In the event the Bucs are a dreaded 5-8 entering that Monday night game against the Falcons, Joe can imagine the furious uproar from fans. And Joe can almost hear a drooling Chucky on the ESPN broadcast dropping backhanded lines about how talented the Bucs are, how Jason Licht has assembled an amazing roster, and how it’s a shame that America’s Quarterback, Jameis Winston, has stalled in the offense.

Just win, Dirk. Spare Bucs fans — and yourself — this noise.

23 Responses to “Don’t Go 5-8, Dirk.”

  1. Defense Rules Says:

    No pressure Dirk. Joe really likes you but is lining up your replacements at the door … just in case.
    Hardly. –Joe

  2. Pickgrin Says:

    “Don’t screw up this year coach Koetter – post a losing record and the Glazers will fire you in a second – and rehire Jon Gruden when he rolls into town week 14. The wheels are already set in motion…”

    LOL – That’s some active imagination Joe’s got. To be fair – I guess it is that time of year where there’s nothing to really write about….

  3. RayJameisStadium Says:


  4. RayJameisStadium Says:

    These are not the old Bucs folks!!!

  5. Brian Says:

    Utterly ridiculous piece here. Jeez.

  6. Buccaneer Bonzai Says:

    I love Dirk, and even if the bottom falls out this year (anything is possible), I think it would be a huge mistake letting him go.

  7. Buccaneer Bonzai Says:

    The only reasons Dirk could have a losing season this year is if Winston goes down for the year or if Dirk goes down himself with health issues (which I don’t see happening).

  8. Buccaneer Bonzai Says:

    And either one of those should get him a pass on being fired.

  9. Tnew Says:

    Let me start by saying without several key injuries, I don’t see the Bucs at 5 dash 8. If they are a healthy 5 dash 8 with this current roster, he maybe should get fired.

  10. Mick Says:

    Stop stirring your dirty stick in the clean pure water that is the offseason. Koetter isn’t on the hot seat Joe find something else to use as filler for offseason stories.
    Of course Koetter isn’t on a hot seat. That wasn’t written here. –Joe

  11. Buccfan37 Says:

    That’s a typo right? You meant 8-5 at that point. I hope.

  12. mjb Says:

    “Let’s speculate on random bullspit we no nothing about” – JoeBuc
    LOL. Or let’s just live in fairy land and be naive.–Joe

  13. Lamarcus Says:

    Guys. No where near Joe has said koetter is out the door. But true reality he needs to win now. Or the door. I understand joe logic here but maybe yall need to wake up and re read the post.

  14. Stpetebucsfan Says:


    I certainly accept your fundamental point which is true. It’s also been uttered by Koetter himself…all anybody in the NFL cares about are the W’s.

    So if Koetter goes 5-8 Chucky will be only one of his worries. 5-8 is not going to cut it with this team.

    But this team could change dramatically in week one of #3 goes down for any length of time….a combo of the wrong three injuries could also wreak havoc.

    Dirk is a solid coach. If he goes 5-8 still three games left to get to .500…he at minimum get that chance. If he has a losing record there better be an acceptable reason as in injuries at the end of the year.

    It will depend if the Bucs look like they’re getting better or worse…can’t afford to backslide.

  15. Brian Says:

    Koetter on the hot seat isnt the ridiculous part of this post.. Its Gruden ever possibly coaching this team again and that him being at that game and put on ring has any bearing on such a thing if the team is struggling at that point.

  16. bucs_365 Says:

    I don’t really get the point of this post.

  17. Keir Says:

    The possibility of Chuck coming back to coach here are about the same as Rachel Watson walking into Joe’s office with a keg of beer and wearing only a thong and some pasties!!!

  18. Pit Says:

    Joe is actually right on point and good job joe for actually thinking and seeing in the future. That is a very good point and it might as well happen. We have seen stranger things happening in Tampa.

  19. Atlbuc28 Says:

    Joe.. This is an awesome idea !…. Chucky and coach K become BFF’s hanging out at Hooters in Tampa…. espn cans Gruden… and bam we have a new OC .. winning combo takes next 5 super bowls!…. 😉

  20. M It Smythe Says:

    Joe, have you forgotten the mess your beloved Chucky created the last time he was here. Yes he won the only Super Bowl in franchise history but…. he could not pick a good player in the draft if the guy begged him to pick him(Aaron Rodgers). He was always trying to show what a genius he was by picking some scab that wouldn’t make the roster of any other top 15 team in the league. And don’t forget how he alienated the veterans on the team with his lies. No thanks. He set this franchise back by running off a really good scouting department and showing just how great he was at picking talent… that was sarcasm by the way.

  21. Joe Says:


    So you’d give back that Lombardi Trophy?

  22. Fsuking Says:

    LOL. Or let’s just live in fairy land and be naive. –Joe

    I feel like Doug Martin and Dirk Koetter have uttered the same sentiments about Joe on numerous occasions this offseason!

  23. M It Smythe Says:

    Joe, I didn’t say I would give back the Lombardi Trophy what I said was it wasn’t always peaches and cream when Jon was here. By the time the Glazers made him walk the plank free agents didn’t want to play for the Bucs. For all the great things he did here he had way way way too much say over the personnel. If he ever comes back to coaching he needs to be a coach and a coach only. When he dabbled in personnel it was an utter failure. Draft and free agency. Things were not headed in the right direction when he was let go. That’s what I’m saying.