Chucky Coaching Ohio State Is Laughable

May 30th, 2011

"Jimminy Christmas, can't someone find me a red vest so I can look like Jim Tressel? If I don't get one I'll punch somebody like Woody Hayes."

With the Japan-like earthquake that erupted this morning in Columbus with the resignation of Buckeyes coach Jim Tressel, there is already talk of former Bucs Super Bowl-winning coach Chucky taking his place.

Joe’s hurting and it’s not from the multiple adult beverages he had last night, it’s from laughing so hard.

Joe may have written this before, so let’s be clear: Chucky would be a horrific college football coach.

In college football, the coach has to be half-salesman, half-coach, unless you are JoePa where your name is big enough so you don’t have to recruit and can pull in millions of booster dollars without having to make small talk to a bunch of rubes.

During his time in Tampa Bay, Chucky possessed none of the traits necessary to succeed in college. Chucky despised the pen and mic club — unless they were going to give him a handsome check. Chucky was less than honest virtually all the time. Chucky hardly made himself an ambassador with the general public.

Oh, sure, Chucky could turn on the charm when he wanted to. But after a while, people began to see right through it.

A college coach has to be able to recruit. Given Chucky’s ability to judge talent in the draft, imagine what he’d be like with 18-year old kids?

Also, as he often admitted, Chucky’s not a patient guy. He loathed working with young players as an NFL coach. Just how would anyone expect him to work with players who aren’t even old enough to legally buy a bottle of beer?

Then there is Chucky’s offense, perhaps the most complex in the NFL. It is believed that it often would take a young quarterback four years to fully grasp Chucky’s offense. Bill Callahan tried this at Nebraska. How’d that work out?

Joe just can’t imagine Chucky going from house to house during recruiting season, begging an 18-year old to play for him. Jake Plummer, yeah, but not a high school kid.

Then throw in the Ohio State crazies who ran Kirk Herbstreit out of the state and chased him off Twitter.

No, Chucky would be an unmitigated disaster in Columbus. Joe doesn’t hate Ohio State that badly. (Though Joe would love to see Chucky in Ann Arbor.)

23 Responses to “Chucky Coaching Ohio State Is Laughable”

  1. McBuc Says:

    Ann Arbor is a whore!

  2. TJ Says:

    I live in Columbus it is not going to happen. Gruden could not control Keyshawn what makes you think he can control NCAA students. Besides Before they hired Tressel OSU reached out to Gruden and he declined. Gruden will coach the dead skins next year , goiong back to school would be talking a step back for the man that had over 8 QB s and no playoff wins since 2002. GO BUCS and Buckeyes

  3. Macabee Says:


  4. TJ Says:

    Urban Myer I would love that but he said he has health issues We don t need a caoch for 3 years then quit . I really beleive as matter of fact I will put money on it Bo Pelinai from Neberska former OSU captin , safety and from youngstown Ohio

  5. Thomas 2.2 Says:

    Gruden would do a great job if there is he wanted the job, he doesn’t. Many of us buc fans thought that naming raheem morris as the HC of the team and going 3-13 was laughable.

  6. MichiganBucsFan Says:

    jeez Joe, what’s with the hate on the winningest college football program in history? Jealous much??

  7. Hawaiian Buc Says:


    Just because Joe says he would be a terrible college coach, that doesn’t mean he’s not a good coach. Coaching college is 100% different from coaching in the pros, and I agree that Gruden would not be a good college coach (for all the reasons Joe stated). I do think he will come back to the NFL and do a very good job somewhere, but I think there is very little chance he would succeed in college. If you disagree, then give some reasons why. You can’t just say “Gruden would do a great job”, then proceed to bash Morris (who has absolutely zero to do with this article, but then again, when has that ever stopped you). Since you are a lawyer, you should know better than that, shouldn’t you?

  8. Espo Says:

    I agree he’d make a terrible college coach and was a bad drafter while in the NFL. Who is to say he can’t change? Learn? The man isn’t old by coaching standards.

  9. Thomas 2.2 Says:

    Here is a list of the needs for gruden success at osu:
    1) big name for recruiting. Check
    2) access to top/level assistant coaches and recruiters. Check
    3) huge football operations budget. Check
    4) high football acumen. Check
    5) nfl style offense – attractive for recruitd. Check
    6) big ten schedule. Check
    7) the city not be located in columbus, oh. Oops

    6 of 7 means its a no go, and the lack of #7 isnt Gruden’s fault. Apparently you guys have very little exp with how college recruiting works, the great bulk of the work is done by assistant coaches who identify players and establish relationships, the head coaches just help with a few players early on but just conduct a few personal visits during summer and pre-signing, with the exception of attending camps where top players congregate.

    Your impression of Gruden is wrong and was shaped by the local medias disdain for gruden bc he refused to provide them access. Yes, he conflicted with some players but some LOVE him, ie Sapp, Brad Johnson, Tim Brown, Brooks, Barber, Ruud all have gone on record in strong support. The media hated Gruden and worked on the public and then the defense collapsed after monte quit and Gruden didnt want to implement Glazer changes and the rest is history: 13-19 and no playoffs.

  10. Big Buc Says:

    “Japan like earthquake”? A little too soon Joe?

  11. Architek Says:

    No one even talks about this guy anymore who in the hell cares. Go to Ohio State or Pakistan, it’s really not being discussed and will not be discussed.

  12. Patrick Says:

    I don’t want him to coach at Ohio State because I actually enjoy watching him on MNF. Plus I want to see him commentate on the Bucs vs Colts game on MNF in October at RJS. That’s gonna be exciting.

  13. RahWillBringBackRuud Says:


    Greeeaat article by ESPN. Title below.

    Bucs will regress in 2011
    After a honeymoon ride in 2010, Tampa Bay faces major obstacles in 2011

    ESPN insider. Great article.

  14. MTM Says:

    Man you can definitely tell there is a lock out. Chucky to Ohio State. Slow news cycle. Isn’t it about time for a good ole baseball steriod scandal that can take up the slow time. My moneys on Pujols.

  15. BennySaxon Says:


    My money is on Bautista!

  16. Fear The Glow Says:

    Am I the only one wishing for this to happen!?!?

    …can’t you guys imagine the (disastrous) entertainment that Gruden would bring coaching college kids?!?

    Imagine watching Gruden scream at an 18 year old QB that’s barely out of high school….

    Remember this?…


    Chris Simms does! ….it was one of his first reps under center in his first training camp in the NFL in his rookie year…

    Now magnify that quote by 100….and covered on every major sports network..

    That’s Gruden coaching college….

    It would be the most entertaining train wreck you have ever watched..

    All six months of that coverage before he gets fired would be awesome!

  17. Hawaiian Buc Says:


    That’s a little better, although I still disagree. First of all, there isn’t a much easier school to be successful in, so I do think he would have a fine team, as would a ton of coaches. However, I just don’t see him having the same success as someone like Tressel. Very few coaches are successful at the college level AND the pro level. The game is so different, as are the duties of the coach. There’s a lot more schmoozing that goes on as a college coach, and I just don’t see Gruden being much of a schmoozer.

    A big name clearly helps with recruiting, and Gruden is definitely a big name. However, fair or not, Gruden could be a tough sell to many players (and their parents) due to his reputation. And yes, in college, the head coaches are typically the “closers”, especially for the blue chippers. Again, I’m not saying he is a jerk (I never met him), but amongst many he certainly has that reputation. As for the NFL offense, yes and no. First of all, his offense (from all accounts) is like an NFL offense on steroids. It is very complex, and takes a very long time to get a grasp of it. In college, the amount of time practicing is limited by the NCAA (and you can bank on it OSU isn’t going to bend any more rules for a while), so he couldn’t really install “his” offense. It would just be a watered down version, and it is arguable how successful that would be. Not to mention the fact that it takes a while to recruit players to fit into your system, and they often don’t give that much time in a program like Ohio State.

    I’m sure you will take this as Gruden hate, but it is really not. I think he is a good PRO coach, but not college. I think there are very few coaches that can coach both levels. I, for one, hope he takes the job. I think it would be very interesting, and I would gladly eat my words if I am wrong.

  18. m.wesley Says:

    he will do great at the Buckeyes and will teach those young qbs and players like he always have

  19. Chris FWC :) Says:

    Gru as a HC of anything is laughable.

    He should keep doing what he’s doing. Jus a big bag of wind. Fake. Fraud. Charlatan.

  20. Chris FWC :) Says:

    @m.wesley “and will teach those young qbs and players like he always have (has).”

    Are you kidding me? They will learn more in their Basket Weaving classes.

  21. flmike Says:

    You keep Chucky away from my Wolverines, send his butt to Columbus to destroy the Suckeyes.

  22. m.wesley Says:

    Chris FWC, yeah man he is the guru

  23. Chris FWC :) Says:

    LOL the Guru of what? Playbooks? Who cares when you cant relate to players nor draft them. He should stick to OC.