If Chucky Were Here…

April 12th, 2010
Hey Dominik, you had a chance to get Santonio Holmes for a f@#$%^&* fifth round pick and you passed? Jiminy Christmas!

"Hey Dominik, you had a chance to get Santonio Holmes for a f@#$%^&* fifth round pick and you passed? Jimminy Christmas! That mother $#@#$% would be living with me for a fifth round pick."

Joe’s good friend Justin Pawlowski said this to Joe this morning, and Joe later read commenter “Eric” write the same thing:

If Chucky were still here, it’s very likely the Bucs would have had Donovan McNabb at quarterback and it’s not unrealistic to believe Chucky would have twisted the arm of Bruce Almighty to swing a deal to Pittsburgh for Santonio Holmes, especially if it only took a fifth round pick.

How’s that for a pitch-and-catch combo, McNabb to Holmes?

Joe is reading from various sources on Twitter, including Mike Florio, the creator, curator and overall guru of ProFootballTalk.com (via Ed Bouchette of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette), that the Steelers were about to release Holmes because they couldn’t find a trade partner and a fifth round pick was the best they could do.

Color Joe skeptical. Sure, Joe knows Holmes is one flying glass in a bar away from being suspended for a year for being dumb. But a fifth round pick???

In any year, a fifth round pick, a team just hopes the guy makes the final cut and if he is on the field at all his first year, it’s a bonus.

Holmes is an elite wide receiver whose greatest sin Joe can tell is he cannot put down the bong.

[A fifth round pick? Joe buries his face in his hands while shaking his head in disbelief.]

24 Responses to “If Chucky Were Here…”

  1. bucfanjeff Says:

    Elite? Hardly. Very good, yet very inconsistent? Yes. Worth a 5th round pick with one mark against him for substance abuse and potentially another mark against him for his latest legal issue? Sure, I’ll bite, depending on contract money remaining.
    Elite? I’m just not seeing it – elite WR’s show up every game. Marshall you slide the safety over for help. Holmes, not so much.

  2. Chucky Says:

    Lots of things would’ve been different – including a winning season last year.

    Can you believe how stupid Dominik is letting Holmes get away for a 5th round pick?

  3. Louie Says:

    Every day that goes by makes Gruden/Allen look like complete genius’ compared to the effing boobs running the show at One Buc.

  4. Eric Says:

    Damn right if we had Chucky, McNabb, AB, Holmes we would be ready for battle in the NFC South!

    And im not talking about being happy as hell with 6-10 and hoping for a rebuilding project to kick in for 2012! Im referring to actually winning the Division now!

    Plus Bates would have never been here at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Sighhhhhhhhhhh (thanks for the reference Joe, that was nice of you)

  5. jvato24 Says:

    31 other teams passed on Holmes .. Yet the Bucs are the monkey of the NFL .. RIGHT ,, And Joe I really dont know what to make of your back on forth on issues … So Talib you basiclally make out like a Slum Hooligan because of temper issues and slapping a cabbie …

    But welcome the guy who was arrested for allegedly choking, throwing to the ground, and slamming into a door the mother of one of his children.

    And then throw in 2 or 3 more arrests in FLA none the less.. He had one year left on his deal .. What would be the point of bringing him in for a 10th rd pick … Do you see Dominik giving him a Fat contract after 2010 with issues??

    Maybe he really is a good guy ,, I mean doesnt every NFL WR tell fans to go kill themselves .. I am so bummed I cant cheer for this winner

  6. jvato24 Says:

    I do agree with Joe the Bucs needs wr’s BADLY .. But the draft is not here yet and if Mike Clayton once had over 1000 yds as a rookie I am willing to bet there is someone else in this draft that can too

  7. Joe Says:


    Joe doesn’t like guys with baggage. That written, we’re talking about a fifth round pick. Repeat that: fifth round pick.

    Also, feel free to rattle off the litany of NFL teams that have not just worse receivers than the Bucs have, but how many times have the Bucs stated they need weapons for their prized young quarterback?

    Factoid boy:

    How has Marshall done againt the Ravens? I need that information. Please explain. Additionally, how has Marshall done in the various playoff games he competed in with the Broncos, including their Super Bowl. Oh, wait…

    How many clutch receptions did Marshall have in the final week of the season last year when the Broncos need a win? Uh, nevermind.

    Yeah, Marshall’s worth a second round pick but Holmes isn’t worth a fifth round pick.

    Sorry. When Marshall’s team needed him the most, he wasn’t there.

    When Holmes’ team needs him the most, he responded — multiple times.

    Advantage: Holmes.

  8. Eric Says:

    According to news reports the 2006 criminal domestic violence charges were dropped, at the request of the alleged victim who came to court to speak on his behalf.

    The criminal disorderly conduct charge in FL was also dropped.

    Far as I can tell, he has one misdemeanor weed possession conviction.

    Hardly the record of a menace to society.

    Mere allegations, later dropped, amount to nothing in my book. But, perhaps its a great excuse for the Glazers not to want to pay out any money, which is still the recurring theme at one buc place.

  9. Gary Says:


    This is unrelated to the post, but I was thinking about how much I love your nicknames for people. It would be a great idea if from now on, we can start assigning nicknames to the scrub players on the bucs during the season. Lets see who we have so far: blocking icon clayton, cabbie loving talib, king of turds stevens, sabby the goat. I propose that when a player deserves such a nickname due to poor play/life decisions… you could think of a few possibilities and put it up to a vote. This way, when you refer to a player by his given name, its a sign of respect! And players can even earn the right to lose the nickname like bust in waiting freeman. What do you think? If you agree, then lets make a good one for trueblood, because dunderhead sounds like we are in kindergarten, gotta be something better.

  10. Joe Says:


    Joe will annoit various players with various titles when they are so earned. 🙂

  11. Mr. Glazer Says:

    Since you duderheads can’t figure it out I’ll just come out and say it:

    I informed Dominik NOT to hire Holmes because there will be no work stoppage in 2011.

    Think about this – I hire Holmes and he has a 1,000+ yard season (similar to AB in 2008). Now in 2011 he’ll want a big fat contract!

    I didn’t want to pay that to AB so why should I pay that to Holmes?

    Dominik informed me that he can assure me a 4th round WR that we can sign for only 50,000 bonus and then 150,000 a year. That’s a far cry from what Holmes will want in 2011.

    Then in 2011 when Holmes leaves you unhappy fans cry foul again!!!! So there be happy I just pack their bags and move to London.

  12. Joe Says:

    Mr. Glazer:

    Since you duderheads can’t figure it out I’ll just come out and say it:

    Joe appreciates your support and is humbled you read Joe, thank you.

    However Joe has to correct you on an apparent inaccuracy. To Joe’s best knowledge, Jeremy Trueblood does not frequent this site.

  13. LakeLand Bob Says:

    Nice caption under chucky photo.Sounds like Gruden.

    Wonder why Steelers unloaded Holmes?

    We sure as hell better pick up two recievers in draft

    or Dominick is losing one glass half full fan.

  14. JimBuc Says:

    Joe, I cannot even scroll down the first page quick enough to see all the Gruden love. Gruden was a great coach, but the “take McNabb and Holmes” mentality is why he and Allen were fired. Even if you are a fan of McNabb, where will he be in 2 years? Same for Holmes? Maybe Holmes turns it around, but fair to say the Bucs know more than all of us and they were not interested. Must be a reason (other than the “Buc are cheap” mantra)

  15. JimBuc Says:

    Eric — not sure I would discount the charges because the victim did not pursue. That certainly does not mean the perp was innocent. If the Steelers were cutting a good young player with no problems because he was expendable, hard to imagine the Bucs don’t pick him up. Besides, if the Bucs are so cheap — as you suggest — why did they pick up KW — who was in essentially the same contractual posiiton as Holmes and who also had character questions — and then make him the highest paid TE? Isn’t it more likely that the Bucs are simply making an informed decision not to take a player?

  16. Eric Says:


    In a domestic violence case, it is rare that the victim is allowed to drop charges. The laws have been designed to ensure that if a domestic violence call is made, somebody gets arrested and taken to jail. They are super careful to ensure that they pursue it because no State Attorney wants to drop such charges, then be blamed if someone ends up dead. So if they dropped it, it is likely due to their belief, based on evidence, that nothing really happened.

    Does an arrest then dropping a charge mean someone is innocent? No. But it is also the case that a mere arrest does not mean someone is guilty. A domestic violence arrest is a nondescretionary act by the police, and can be accomplished by either spouse with a phone call. So, it should not be used against a person that an arrest was made.

    Additionally, that was five years ago.

    Do I think Holmes is a Saint? No. But I think he should be treated fairly and unproven accusations should not be relied upon.

  17. Jonny Says:

    Joe: ” How has Marshall done againt the Ravens? I need that information. Please explain. Additionally, how has Marshall done in the various playoff games he competed in with the Broncos, including their Super Bowl. Oh, wait…”

    Joe, I respect your football intelligence, but lets talk about Andre Johnson. How has he fared against the Ravens? How did AJ fair against Ryan’s NYJ? He was shut down. How has AJ fared against teams in playoffs? Invisible. Now tell me you would take Holmes over AJ. I do not see logic in your comparison Joe, Ben is among the top 10 QBs of the league, Steelers defense has been one of the best in the league, thus more possessions for Steelers offense. Holmes would barely qualify into upper echelon of WRs. Also you must be aware of the circus catches Marshall makes, I cannot name 1 receiver in the entire league that makes more circus catches than Marshall. He is all you would want in a receiver. Holmes is not.

  18. Joe Says:


    Joe is not aware of the circus catches of Marshall against such beastly defenses like the Chiefs or the Raiders. Joe is very much aware of how Holmes torched some of the best defenses in the league consistently.

    Look, don’t listen to Joe. E-mail Rex Ryan. Jets GM Mike Tannebaum said tonight on the NFL Network that Ryan told him that Holmes cost Ryan a ring with the Ravens he tore them apart so often.

    Not sure what the Steelers’ defense has to do with what Holmes has done.

  19. tampa2 Says:


    “not spending money at one Buc place seems to be the recurring theme”.
    Great post! At least someone gets it! It doesn’t matter if a player has a lilly white record, if they are likely to demand what they are worth the Glazer Boys aren’t interested. Are you sure that JimBuc isn’t related somehow to the Glazerhouses? He sure defends their every non-move.

  20. Jonny Says:

    Joe, the Steelers defense has everything to do with the stats of Holmes. His best year so far has been 1241 yards of reception, previous 3 years around 800 yards. That is pretty mediocre for some one whose offense sees more playing time.

  21. Jonny Says:

    @Joe: Also just because Marshall plays in a NFC West with putrid secondaries and Holmes plays in a division with Baltimore Ravens does not automatically make Holmes better. (Isn’t Ravens secondary suspect

    I will ask you again, would you take Santonio Holmes over Andre Johnson or Larry Fitzgerald? After all Andre and Fitz play in divisions with teams having bad secondaries. If you would, I will end this discussion.

    One match up does not make a whole season, even Holmes plays Bengals, Browns and other scrubs from AFC. Bottomline is he does not have any stats to match the level of Brandon Marshall, Andre Johnson and Larry Fitzgerald. IMO he is not even as talented as Steve Smith, Calvin Johnson, Reggie Wayne and Greg Jennings.

  22. Joe Says:

    I will ask you again, would you take Santonio Holmes over Andre Johnson or Larry Fitzgerald?

    Of course not! But Joe will take Holmes over Marshall. Sorry. Joe thinks that much of Holmes.

  23. Fatsacks Says:

    Mcnabb and Holmes!?!? Sign me up on that team!?!? You saw what Mcnabb did with Desean Jackson in Philly that would be the complete same thing here with that deuo! And we all know that Mcnabb loves him some TE and what do you know we have K2!! I almost crap myself with the thinking that if chucky was still here the fricken team we would have and thinking in the offseason that ” man we actually have a chance at winning the division! ” instead of “man those 7 dollar beers at the stadium are going to add up! “

  24. JimBuc Says:

    Eric — the SA does not depend on the victim. Victims routinely say they do not want to prosecute, but that has nothing to do with the DA. To wit: Ben Rothlisberger