Kellen Winslow’s Big Balls

July 21st, 2009

In case any of Joe’s readers haven’t picked up the July 27 issue of ESPN the Magazine, it includes a feature story on Bucs tight end Kellen Winslow. As an added incentive to read the piece, author Seth Wickersham called Joe and used him as a source in the article.

Joe agrees to grant a modest request from Winslow, and all of a sudden Joe is a Winslow expert. Who knew?

But one subject Wickersham did not ask Joe about was Winslow’s big balls. To be perfectly honest, Joe has no interest in Winslow’s genitalia. But strangely, an affliction with staph in Winslow’s most sensitive of areas when he was with the Browns may have led Winslow to the Bucs.

Winslow was so frustrated with how the Browns dealt with his, um, affliction and how a number of his Cleveland teammates didn’t stick up for him, that he let his feelings be known, which didn’t set so well with Browns management. Before one knows it, Winslow is a Bucs tight end.

Winslow told Wickersham that he woke up one October morning sore in the groin area, but figured the problem would go away. Winslow said by the next morning “my testicles were enlarged, to the point where it hurt to walk.”

During the controversy over his suspension, Wickersham wrote that Winslow confronted his teammates in a players-only meeting about why they didn’t stick up for him on the staph issue.

“I was real disappointed when no one came to my defense,” Winslow told Wickersham. “They don’t want to get suspended or have conduct detrimental to the team, but you’ve gotta be a man sometimes.”

First off, Joe has himself been hospitalized with a staph infection in his leg. It’s no fun; Joe could barely stand much less walk it was so bad. Joe can’t imagine having a staph infection “down there.”

Joe hopes Winslow not only is staph-free with the Bucs, but turns the NFL on its head he racks up so many receiving yards.  

20 Responses to “Kellen Winslow’s Big Balls”

  1. Chris Says:

    This does not show well for the Browns organization. You’ve got Winslow griping over staph and, I believe, Joe Jurevicius is locked in a lawsuit against the Browns for staph-related ailments as well.

    Joe had staph as well, huh? I recall a 620 employee that had staph in his leg last year. I wonder if that was Joe.

  2. Joe Says:


    No, Joe’s leg infection happened a few years ago. Plus, Joe never has worked for 620.

  3. Greg Says:

    As soon as I heard on 620 about this I thought, “Oh crap wait until Joe gets hold of ths story!” I could already imagine the new nick name that would preceed his name in every freakin article, (Lets be happy bust in waiting is already taken). Im thankfull that Joe showed a little class and compassion for this issue.

  4. Joe Says:


    Swollen balls from staph would be amusing if the King of Turds was the afflicted.

  5. Johnny Says:

    Who is the King of Turds?

  6. Jeff Says:

    Jeff say’s: Joe is a hack writer. Your stories are mindless dribbles. Where did you learn to be a reporter. Oh yeah thats right you dont report. You make your living stealing stories from everyone else. Please do Tampa fans and the rest of the world a favor and head to the Skyway and take a jump. Oh and one last thing. Writing in the third person so stupid. Jeff says skyway..

  7. Joe Says:


    Joe will offer some kind yet free advice as well:

    One might want to do a bit of research before making false claims. Additionally, Joe always — always! — cites and links the source of posts that Joe doesn’t pen himself.

    Next time you accuse Joe of plagarism, at least provide some evidence. Otherwise, you look more foolish than your empty accusations.

    Oh, and Jeff, Joe knows who you work for. Let’s just say Joe has never roomed with Mark Dominik.

    Does Joe really have to explain in detail what he means by that?

  8. Jeff Says:

    Jeff still says skyway. Never accused you of that. I simply made a comment that you have no skills and cannot write your own stories. All you do is use other reporters stories and post those. I could care less if you give them credit. Why dont you do the job of a real reporter and write your own. You are apparenty as dumb as I thought.

  9. Joe Says:


    Before you make false accusations (again) about Joe, you might want to use the archives function just to your left on this site.

    If you are so concerned with Joe’s credentials, why haven’t you approached Joe in the Bucs locker room or in the press box of the CITS at a number of games last year?

    Additionally, please feel free to approach Joe at training camp in 10 days.

    Now be a good boy and behave. Joe’s had enough of your lies.

  10. Mike Says:

    I can truly say this guy IS a SOLDIER. I can only imagine the pain he went thru. I had a staph infection in my foot 3 years ago and I thought I was going to die! So knowing how painful our parts down there are I have a NEW FOUND respect for this man.

    Plus, I think his wife is a hottie

  11. Joe Says:


    Sorry, belated thanks for the compliment. Joe appreciates it.

  12. Joe Says:


    Here’s the answer to your question:

  13. Flea Says:

    Funny how Joe’s whole connection the last national Winslow story came from Joe’s original reporting. Guess Jeff forgot about that.

  14. oar Says:

    Not so much worried about King of the Turds as I am of the court jester.

  15. v901502 Says:

    wow I Luv Comic Relief!! Yugo , Joe

  16. Jorge Says:

    Jorge says: Joe can be annoying, but he does do reporting. Plus Joe found a niche everybody needs to find their own niche if they want to make it in that Bizz. Joe “covers the coverage” (Matt Iseman). Which is something I appreciate as I don’t have the time to peruse through every freaking : Website, radio progaram am & xm, sports blog, TV show, etc…He even filters the world wide leader for us, thank GOD, damn them all to hell at the BSPN…

  17. Joe Says:


    >>> He even filters the world wide leader for us, thank GOD <<<


    Joe hasn’t gotten that good of a laugh in a long while.

    And you are right Jorge. Joe wants this place to be a one-stop shop for Bucs news. It’s what others call an “aggregate.”

    Joe figures Bucs fans can’t get enough Bucs news, no matter the source.

  18. BigMacAttack Says:

    I have to give Joe (the stalker) credit for his ongoing coverage of Rachel Watson. Joe can hardly write a report or report on a report without mentioning her name. Joe, why don’t you conduct an investigation to see where she is now or what she is up to. I totally understand your obsession, she truly is one of the hottest creatures on the planet. I know you really aren’t a stalker and I love this site. The Glosers made some deep cuts this season and let some free agents get away. Rachel is one they should have paid Major Bucs$ to stay with the organization. I’m not surprised though. The Malcolm Glazer golden spirm club is made up of boneheads.

  19. Joe Says:

    Thanks for the kind words BigMacAttack.

    Joe understands from a couple of sources Rachel, who is a grade school teacher, is with child. But Joe cannot confirm that.

    (Insert the Van Halen “Hot for Teacher” video.)

    Joe was swilling some Caybrews the other night at a trendy south Tampa waterfront watering hole with a sponsor who just couldn’t believe Rachel Watson has passed up so much money (she once did a minor photo shoot with Maxim and to Joe’s knowledge that has been it).

    Notice you rarely see her in any TV appearance or hear her on any radio show spot or anything. It’s as if she is either painfully shy or is freaked out by all the attention. As Joe’s sponsor told Joe that particular night, Rachel Watson has left hundreds of thousands of dollars on the table by not embracing her celebrity.

    It’s both confusing and sad.

  20. oar Says:

    BTW: AC/DC has the biggest ba**s of all!