THE PESSIMIST: What The Hell Is Going On?

February 27th, 2009

THE PESSIMIST can hear Vince Lombardi screaming right now, from those classic NFL Films, throwing his rolled up playbook to the ground.

THE PESSIMIST wants to start cursing and throwing things right now. Right at Mark Dominik. But THE PESSIMIST  can’t. He’s at work and would get fired for such a stunt in a professional environment.

Good grief, THE PESSIMIST just can’t believe what is going on! First Dominik runs out the classiest act in the NFL (two actually) and a few hours later trades — willingly! — draft picks to get this mental midget jerk Kellen Winslow, Jr., like the Bucs don’t already have enough terribly underperforming spawns of Hall of Fame players.

Winslow… really Dominik??? What, you are trying to upgrade the character of the Bucs by (potentially) replacing a five-star a-hole (no, not Alex Rodriguez) like the King of Turds for a four-star a-hole??? The guy who thinks he’s some dime store Green Beret, cheap shot artist and mentally challenged six-year old kid all rolled into one?

Why do you think Eric (Not So Much Of A) Mangenius wanted no part of this walking injury report? Let’s take a peak at this moron’s brief football career:

When at the (eff) U, Winslow freaks out after a game, telling one and all he’s some sort of Audie Murphy in cleats, screaming to one and all how he’s “a solider!” and that football is “war!”

Meanwhile, real men fighting a real war protecting our freedom are being shot and killed by those animals that fly planes into buildings and behead people.

Yeah, some solider you are Winslow!

Then there’s the time when Sgt. Winslow was drafted by the Browns, he decided to reach out to his inner child (not much of a stretch), buy a crotch rocket and blow out a knee popping wheelies in a parking lot.

Then, two years ago on national television playing the Steelers on NFL Network, Sgt. Winslow has one of the all-time late hit of late hits on Steelers linebacker James Farrior. It was so terrible, players were walking to their huddles. It was so out of hand, Chris Collingsworth belted out to Sgt. Winslow, “Yeah, I know you’re supposed to a solider and everything but you have got to use your head!”

Sorry Chris. That’s hard for Sgt. Winslow to do since he had no head to use.

And now the Bucs have this jerk. Nice, real nice.

MEMO TO THE GLAZER BOYS: Will you please tell your employees they are not to, under any additional circumstances, trade for any more failed sons of Hall of Famers. Please!

What the hell is happening to our Bucs? THE PESSIMIST demands an explanation and there better not be one freaking reference to “The Plan.”

6 Responses to “THE PESSIMIST: What The Hell Is Going On?”

  1. Kris Says:

    well said…like i said before im sure the ones,im sure i know who they are, who already are in love with the dream and dumnick,are going to praise this move..then praise it even more when we sign Col.Clink here to a massive extension,then watch him sit out 2-4 games a year min for some sort of injury..brilliant moves already… I want the rights to the nick name for this new regime The Nightmare and Dumnick era..every day that passes now i get more and more angry.

  2. The Optimist Says:

    The same type of things were said about one Antonio Bryant before this year. After 4-5 years in the league, it looks like Bryant has matured and it has proved it on the field, we can be hopeful that Winslow has as well and is ready to translate it on the field. There is nothing wrong with being a football soldier in that context. Winslow will never be accused for being a slacker or not giving it his all. He is a high effort guy with an incredible skill set that should compliment Bucs Tight Ends Smith and Gimore. He will definetely be another weapon barring injury (which it looks like he is past as well). And more importantly, staph risk in Tampa way less than Cleveland.

  3. Freud Says:

    The most difficult part of being a Bucs fan is the relentless need to complain about the head coach/gm. Perhaps one day… we can overcome.

  4. MTM Says:

    I was expecting a Ward signing. Not a Winsblows trade. I guess we couldn’t get face stomper. Hopefully we can load up some more of the NFL’s trash. One mans trash is the Buccaneers treasure.
    Hopefully this works out.

    Endless whinning.

  5. BlackStorm Says:

    Settle down boys!
    (a) players mature….you can’t judge based on a heated post-game comment by a college kid (b) you have to admit that the guys a first-class talent, clearly the most talented TE we’ve ever had here. Jeez, why is everyone so quick to turn on the coach/gm — they hasn’t even held a practice yet!

  6. Sargeant Mike Says:

    Too much at stake to roll the dice on this cat. Especially when you have so many other much more pressing needs. So far I’m unimpressed by the Dream and Dominick. I would have rather let Gruden and Allen scour the police blotters for there next non-draft pick requiring hires. Oh, the real A-hole we should have picked up AB signed with the redskins. I’m still deferring final judgement but not impressed with anyone on the new staff so far.