It’s Real Football, Chump!

June 30th, 2021


Only a statgeek drowning in statistical graffiti would have the nerve to type this.

In the Three Stooges short, โ€œThree Little Pigskins,” Moe Howard uttered one of Joe’s favorite Three Stooges lines when he barked at Curly, “It’s football, chump!”

That’s exactly what went through Joe’s mind when reading jibberish from follically-challenged Billy Barnwell of BSPN, a spreadsheeter who is no fan of Joe.

In a piece flushing out the most vulnerable positions in the NFL, Billy said the Bucs are the most vulnerable if they lose park-violating, home-invading, NFLPA-ignoring, down-forgetting, handshake-stiffing, jet-ski-losing, biscuit-baking, tequila-shooting, smartphone-phobic, waffle-grilling, trophy-throwing, roller-coaster-scared, numbers-rules-peeved, Bucs-Super Bowl-winning quarterback Tom Brady.

His reason, in part, is because Mr. Entertainment, America’s Quarterback, Pro Bowler Jameis Winston, was better at fantasy football than Brady.

It’s real football, chump! The objective of the NFL is to win games and a Super Bowl! Joe will take zero stats and a Vince Lombardi Trophy any day over a quarterback who shatters a league record and throws for 6,000 yards but can’t make the playoffs. C’mon!

Brady helped immediately turn around an inconsistent Bucs offense in 2020, with the legendary quarterback growing more comfortable as the year went along before eventually winning his seventh Super Bowl. The Bucs have a ton of talent around him, but many of those same players were on teams with Jameis Winston and Ryan Fitzpatrick at quarterback, and those offenses were better in fantasy football than the real deal.


Billy just destroyed his point by invoking make-believe. But the point Billy was trying to make is something that sticks in Ira Kaufman’s craw — not craw; CRAW! And it is fair.ย Can the Bucs survive if Brady goes down, being led by Blaine Gabbert who has been downright awful in his career far more often than he has been good?

Joe understands Super Bowl-winning coach Bucco Bruce Arians is confident in Gabbert. Of course, what is Arians going to say, that his backup quarterback sucks eggs?

Actions also speak louder than words and the Bucs the past two seasons haven’t signed anyone potentially better.

Arians may be confident but Joe is going to guess Bucs fans aren’t as comfortable with Gabbert backing up a soon-to-be 44-year old quarterback.

Joe knows Ira isn’t comfortable.

(Fantasy isn’t this Joe’s cup of tea [sigh]. This Joe’s idea of “fantasy” has nothing to do with football and everything to do with Rachel Watson. When this Joe tried to play fantasy football years ago, he was horrible at it because he tried to treated it like real football — had no use for Jeff George but preferred Troy Aikman. To quote Norman Chad, “Only in fantasy football would you actually want Jeff George.” It’s like when Joe played “Axis and Allies.” Joe always felt like he was refighting World War II — always loaded up to take Guadalcanal right away and got badly burned. Guess you could say Joe is a guy stuck in reality.)

23 Responses to “It’s Real Football, Chump!”

  1. Tampabaybucfan Says:

    Part of a good offense is to hang onto the ball…..boring….but necessary to win.

  2. mg Says:

    If you like rooting against your own team, fantasy is for you.

  3. Buczilla Says:

    Someone who is close to this Joe should get him a Michael Fabiano cake for his birthday. ๐Ÿ˜œ

  4. Joe Says:

    Someone who is close to this Joe should get him a Michael Fabiano cake for his birthday. ๐Ÿ˜œ

    Well played! ๐Ÿ‘

  5. Jason Says:

    I find it mildly amusing that this article sits directly under the Todd Wright Fantasy Football Podcast. ๐Ÿ˜„

  6. Seรฑor Harry in Costa Rica Says:

    BA has more than earned our confidence in his decisions. A FAR cry from our days with Lovie’s basement philosophy and Mike Smith’s cushion defense.

    BUT, I just don’t get the choice of Gabbert. Even from a financial standpoint. The Glazers have made a HUGE investment in the overall roster. Why have the Bucs not added a backup QB who can get us through a stretch of games if TB goes down? Like gadget QB Hill when Brees went down, or the Cowgirls adding Dalton in case Prescott went down (even tho that did not work out, it was a good idea)

    Gabbert? Really? Hope the Bucs Oline holds up this year.

  7. Irishmist Says:

    Other than the end of the Detroit game last year, in which he played well, we really don’t know how good Gabbert could be in this offense. There were no preseason games last year. and he hurt his shoulder early in the preseason the year before. I’m sure that he’ll get plenty of opportunity this preseason, because you know the coaches aren’t going to risk Brady getting hurt.

  8. Robert Says:

    I have faith that Gabbert the veteran can do what Brady can do, as Brady will still be at games and set the tone.

  9. Beeej Says:

    Gabbert has been on some BAD teams, but DOES have a good arm. Arians is confident of his ability to lead the team

  10. TOM Says:

    Not at all comfortable with Gabbert. I’d prefer Griffin 1st.

  11. Hodad Says:

    Any team that loses it’s starting QB is in trouble, what a dumb comment. I couldn’t even tell you who KC’s back up is, but I do know if Mahomes goes down, his back up ain’t taking them to the S.B..

  12. 74 Bucs Fan Says:

    I have seem zero evidence to suggest that Gabbert can not lead this Team. The start of his career was less than stellar, but consider the Teams he played for and the offensive lines he played behind. There might be better backups available, but there are certainly worse.

  13. Oneilbuc Says:

    74 . Lol ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚ this is what I be talking about Gabbert is trash but now you want to blame his teams lol ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜‚ .

  14. Buccaneer Bonzai Says:

    Gabbert is NOT the answer. Come on, people. Stop dreaming. If Brady goes down, we better hope the defense is good enough to keep getting the ball back after turnovers.

    I’m more confident in Ryan Griffin than in Gabbert. Why? Because through multiple coaches, he is still on this team. There must be a reason for that…because there have been several opportunities to release him.

    Clearly he is doing something right.

    That said, the Bucs DID draft a QB. I have my doubts about him, but anything is possible.

  15. mg Says:

    TB-12 was a backup.

  16. Iamabuc Says:

    In Arians we trust.

  17. Defense Rules Says:

    @Senor Harry … “… or the Cowgirls adding Dalton in case Prescott went down (even tho that did not work out, it was a good idea)”.

    If it was REALLY a good idea Harry, MAYBE it should’ve worked out? (Maybe Dallas would’ve ended up with better than a 6-10 record in a weak division?). MAYBE Dalton should’ve played better (although he really didn’t play all THAT bad, unless you consider a 64.9% completion percentage bad)? Fact of the matter is that the Cowboys aren’t really THAT good a team, whether it’s Dalton or Prescott at the controls.

    Bucs on the other hand are solid in just about every position group. IF we had to start Gabbert (or Griffin or Trask), I think our OLine could protect them as well as they protect Brady. Also think that our running game could really step it up IF they needed to. And our defense and our Special Teams are both pretty solid, so I don’t think that they’d miss a beat either IF we had to start a different QB.

    IMO Harry, it’s the TEAM that surrounds the QB that makes a huge difference. I look back at the only perfect team that the NFL has had … the 1972 Dolphins. Starting QB Bob Griese went 5-0 then disaster stuck and he was out. In steps 38-year-old Earl Morall, in his first year with Miami after spending 2 years as a backup to Johnny Unitas in Baltimore. All teat Earl did was win the next 9 regular season games (to get the Fins to their 14-0 perfect regular season), then make it halfway through the playoffs before Bob Griese got well & resumed the role to finish their perfect season. Morall wasn’t spectacular that season (55.3% completion but he only threw an average of less than 17 passes per game), but with an awesome running game (Csonka, Kiick & Morris) and a great defense Earl didn’t need to be spectacular. Just solid … and that he was.

    Our 2021 Bucs are built in the same mold as those 1972 Dolphins. Obviously in 50 years the game has changed a bunch, but talent is still talent. And our Bucs have plenty.

  18. D-Rome Says:

    Jay-Miss was great for daily fantasy because he’d chuck the ball around, throw 3 INTs a game, and then have to play catchup which led to more yards. He was usually priced right which freed up my cap to spend on other positions.

  19. Joe in Michigan Says:

    Oneilbuc: Are you the great Oniel Theodore Cousins who starred for the Bucs? You must’ve had quite an illustrious life on and off the field to call Gabbert “trash”, Mr. Cousins.

  20. Eric in VA Says:

    Barnwell was just saying that this same team that surrounds Brady wasn’t a winner on the field with Jameis. So if Brady goes down then the Bucs likely won’t be winners on the field since this same team (minus Brady) couldn’t get it done on the field without Brady. Barnwell is not comparing the fantasy football prowess of Brady and Jameis, nor is he suggesting fantasy matters than “real football;” just the opposite in fact.

  21. lambchop Says:

    Gabbert, in limited playing time, has looked better than his Jaguars days. He’s grown as a player, and having Brady can’t hurt. He will no way be the kind of QB that you want leading a come-from-behind victory, but can the man win a game with this offense and defense helping him out? Can he win while being in front of games? Dilfer seems to come to mind. Yes, he can.

    As long as he trusts the players around him, he will be asked to do less. We can win, I just hope we never have to find out.

  22. Nowjoecantread Says:

    This is just sad dude. His point, which is accurate, is that without Brady, we are super vulnerable, and how our offenses without him, we not the real deal in real football even if it worked in fantasy. But way to make an ass out of yourself dude

  23. Mike candela Says:

    This is better than being bored and braindead, but this backup, I think, could be
    A better motivator and leader. Brady is chasing ghosts that he may catch and surpass. The dude is white heat n red hot… he burns deep