Best Team Money Can Buy

June 17th, 2021

On ultimate fantasy team

Now this is an interesting exercise.

And unless you don’t do these types of things for a living, it might be a cool bathroom puzzle or bar exercise because it is going to take a while. So if you have time to kill, have at it.

Anthony Holzman-Escareno of did just that. And, using a salary cap, he thinks he built the best team money can buy.

Holzman-Escareno thinks he crafted the most dominant roster in the NFL. The team had to consist of 53 players and Holzman-Escareno had to stay true to a salary cap. So if you spend big on one starter’s position, you will have to find value later.

Joe is a bit surprised more Bucs didn’t make this team. There are some exceptional Bucs players who are on rookie salaries or just damn good value.

Holzman-Escareno chose very expensive Pat Mahomes as his starting QB rater than park-violating, home-invading, NFLPA-ignoring, down-forgetting, handshake-stiffing, jet-ski-losing, biscuit-baking, tequila-shooting, smartphone-phobic, waffle-grilling, trophy-throwing, roller-coaster-scared, numbers-rules-peeved, Bucs-Super Bowl-winning quarterback Tom Brady.

Three Bucs did make Holzman-Escareno’s 53-man team. Holzman-Escareno’s breakdown of those Bucs is below.

Rob Gronkowski: Gronkowski is a shell of his former self, but he can still contribute as a receiver (see: two touchdowns in Super Bowl LV) and as a blocker.

Shaq Barrett: Barrett leads the NFL with 31.5 sacks, including playoffs, since joining the Buccaneers in 2019. His eight pressures in Super Bowl LV were key to the Buccaneers victory.

Lavonte David: David provides veteran leadership and top-notch playmaking ability. He’s the only player with 20-plus sacks and 20-plus takeaways since entering the NFL in 2012.

Now Joe doesn’t believe Gronk is a “shell” of his former self. Gronk is still dangerous. Just look at the Super Bowl. He caught two touchdowns and was open for a third (but Brady went instead to furniture-tossing, bicycle-throwing Antonio Brown).

Joe is really surprised Holzman-Escareno didn’t select Tristan Wirfs because he is so damn good and inexpensive on a rookie contract. Holzman-Escareno did admit he “considered” Wirfs.

Other Bucs Wirfs Holzman-Escareno “considered” were Vita Vea, Devin White, Carlton Davis and Antoine Winfield.

18 Responses to “Best Team Money Can Buy”

  1. Chesapeake Bucco Says:

    I hope TB12 is highly offended at not even being considered and takes it to heart!

  2. Bucfanforever Says:

    I’m 99% sure the current Buccaneers team, and 99.5% sure the 2002 Buccaneers team would beat the team he made.

  3. Mike Says:

    Our Bucs could still beat his fantasy team…

  4. Steven007 Says:

    Joe, you beat me to the punch. Saying Gronk is a shell of himself does him a great disservice. Clearly he’s not as quick as he was in his early years but that’s about the only drop off I see. Still great hands. Still a great blocker. Just a couple decimal points off of his 40. That’s being a shell of yourself?

  5. Buc50 Says:

    I could see at least 3-4 more Bucs on that team. I would take Wirfs over Orlando Brown and Barrett over Chase young. Vita Vea over Cris Jones by the impact they had in the Superbowl but I guess I’m a homer.

  6. Swampbuc Says:

    Dude is an idiot.

  7. PassingThru Says:

    Gronk being a shell of his former self is hyperbole. He isn’t as fast as he was maybe 3 years ago, and a tad less harder to tackle after the catch, but that’s nitpicking. In terms of blocking, he’s like having an extra high-end OT, and he remains one of the best pass catching, yards after the catch TEs in the league. My projection is that he’ll be more productive on offense this season as he won’t arrive after being mothballed.

  8. Chris@Apple Roof Cleaning Tampa Says:

    I am also really surprised Holzman-Escareno didn’t select Tristan Wirfs because he is so damn good and cheap, on a rookie contract. Wirfs may be the best tackle in the NFL

  9. Rayjay1122 Says:

    LMAO, Lunacy season.

  10. Duane Says:

    I agree Joe it was an interesting article. It looks like he went out of his way to not select Buc players, and likely so that his article was another about how stacked Tampa is. What doesnt surprise me is how these sports editorialists obviously still do not watch Bucs games. Im not even sure how to respond to calling Gronk a shell of himself, then justify putting him on the list citing his receiving and blocking skills with a $10 mil cap hit.

  11. MadMax Says:

    In a sense, we are the best team money can buy. #1 its all Mr. Tom…never forget that (came at a discount on purpose, for the greater cause).

    Then we have drafted and signed some players who werent thought so highly of, but when you got it, you got it …thats all a cat needs to play with reverence and show loyalty. Licht and Arians and all of their staff have noticed and played their game right too. Its about how you deal with people.

    I swear, its like I saw this coming during the Dominic era…we let him go, brought in Licht, and I remember posting, pleading for us to somehow someway talk BA out of retirement…then the ACTUAL FIRST on here calling for Mr. Tom….then the past draft picks ….and look at us now…

  12. lambeau Says:

    The whole exercise is ridiculous because the cap numbers are invalid, not reflecting AAV–Kelce, Kittle, Gronk, Lavonte, Shaq, Thuney,etc.
    Jalen Ramsey has a $100 M contract.

  13. Buc1987 Says:

    Maxie I remember you calling for Brady.

  14. PassingThru Says:

    If I was to construct a team but constrain within the salary cap, I’d pick rookie contract OTs, starting with Wirf. OTs (LTs in particular) cost a king’s ransom. I like Mahomes, but Brady would still be my first pick as the contract is cheaper, particularly if you’re looking at what happens to Mahomes’ contract after next season. Next I’d spend a wad on pass rushers, as after the QB position the EDGE players tend to have the greatest impact on winning, plus one dominant DT. Last, I’d spend freely on one “shutdown” CB as the field is easier to protect knowing that the opposing QB will avoid throwing to that part of the field.

    I think top-tier, big name WRs tend to be overpaid, at least in terms of what they contribute versus quality, no-name WRs.

  15. Defense Rules Says:

    Chesapeake Bucco … “I hope TB12 is highly offended at not even being considered and takes it to heart!”

    Might be wrong, but I seriously doubt that Tom Brady, the GOAT, has even the foggiest notion who Anthony Holzman-Escareno is. I sure don’t. And when you’re considered to be the greatest QB ever, what Anthony Holzman-Escareno, whoever that is, writes about you probably doesn’t keep him awake at night.

  16. 6throundpick Says:

    Gronk is a shell of his former self? That’s what they said about TB12 before he arrived…or at least what many believed and feared…why else would NE let him go? Yikes! Gronk & AB have UP ARROWS next to their names…no longer a new team; in shape and ready.

  17. SufferingSince76 Says:

    I hope they are putting all of the stuff like this on the bulletin board. The lack of respect for the Bucs continues even after a Super Bowl win!


    I love when players are underrated, Brady lived this his whole career. Who gives a sh** after 7 games they had Brady in a nursing home. Can’t wait for this season, this team is stacked.