Towels In The Pants

September 26th, 2020

“Are those towels in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”

Just when Joe thought he heard it all, you learn something new.

Take park-violating, home-invading, NFLPA-ignoring quarterback Tom Brady. When he came to Tampa, one of his first calls was to his new center, Ryan Jensen. Then, Brady explained the two will be tight if Jensen can learn one thing and it is a huge hangup for Brady.

Brady likes dry balls.

Other than his once game each year in Miami, Brady was not used to the Florida weather. Balls get wet easily with all the humidity and the hot weather and the perspiration.

On top of that, not to be too graphic, but it seems Jensen is a sweaty guy. So the concept of dry balls was hard for Jensen to master.

And Brady is very much a stickler about dry balls.

So yesterday Bucs coach Bucco Bruce Arians was asked about how Jensen was managing getting on the same page with Brady in keeping balls dry.

“Ryan’s been really, really solid,” Arians said. “He’s learning to play with a couple of towels in his pants, but other than that it’s been a really good combination.”

Joe never heard of a center having to shove extra towels in his pants to keep balls dry. But hey, whatever it takes to keep Brady’s balls dry, you have to adjust, adapt and overcome.

24 Responses to “Towels In The Pants”

  1. Cannon Says:

    This post is Bear Grylls approved.

  2. Clean House Says:

    Joe, what is that picture of Jensen from?

  3. SB Says:

    And enter the ndog Rant anytime now

  4. SB Says:

    I am pretty sure that that is a picture from Jensen’s sleep apnea test Cleanhouse

  5. SB Says:

    I am pretty sure that is Jensen’s sleep apnea study picture

  6. Ftmyersbuc Says:

    Old news… the pictures from when he almost died from covid, so stay home!!! 🤣🤣🤣

  7. VegasBuc Says:

    “Brady likes dry balls” 🤣🤣 good laugh before bed. Thanks Joe LOL!

  8. Clean House Says:

    Jensen’s wet balls hard on Jameis?

  9. Tony Aiello Says:

    Three cheers for dry 🏈 balls!

  10. Joe Says:

    You are welcome Vegas! 🙂

  11. Rod Munch Says:

    I traded him off my Madden roster for this – a clean fella with dry balls to snap the ball to Brady. My passing per game went from 570yards and 6 TDs a game to 707yards and 9 TDs a game. If you don’t think having a ball drenched in ball sweat is a big deal, well, you ain’t ever played with no sweaty balls.

  12. FLBoyInDallas Says:

    I guess swamp ass caused most of Jameis “Pick Six” Winston’s errant throws. Or so the apologists would say.

    BTW, I heard Jameis is starting a new protest group called Third String QB’s Matter.

  13. AwShbucs Says:

    This is old news. Several articles were published on the subject here on jbf when Brady and crew were working out at the school.

    Joe must be going senile… that would explain the constant repetition of the same stories over and over again on the Ira podcast..

  14. AwShbucs Says:

    Ftmeyersbuc… no. That picture has nothing to do with covid. Jensen has sleep apnea dude.

  15. Tampabaybucfan Says:

    Reminds me of the Saturday Night Live skit with Alec Baldwin….”Schwetty Balls”

  16. Brandon Says:

    They make plastic shorts that would keep the sweat completely away from Jensen’s uniform in that area. It would be extremely hard to get used to but probably worth it if it was truly a problem.

  17. Hodad Says:

    Do they make XXXXLLL depends? That should keep his a#s dry.

  18. ModHairKen Says:

    Great. I was trying to eat my breakfast. Just great.

  19. Drew Says:

    Hell! Late Brady dry his own balls. Jensen’s got to be thinking I’m not touching those. Humor for the day.

  20. Creamsicles Says:

    Maybe Jensen will give him Schweddy balls for Christmas

  21. Buccaneer Bonzai Says:

    He didn’t mean completely shoved down his pants, he mean tucked in, and that’s been happening for a very long time.

  22. bojim Says:

    All the jokes have been thought of already. “Quietly leaves.”

  23. bojim Says:

    Alright. Guess that’s why he looks like he’s carrying a load. Thank you.

  24. AtlBuc Says:

    2 towels and an air pin!