Towels In The Pants
September 26th, 2020
“Are those towels in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”
Just when Joe thought he heard it all, you learn something new.
Take park-violating, home-invading, NFLPA-ignoring quarterback Tom Brady. When he came to Tampa, one of his first calls was to his new center, Ryan Jensen. Then, Brady explained the two will be tight if Jensen can learn one thing and it is a huge hangup for Brady.
Brady likes dry balls.
Other than his once game each year in Miami, Brady was not used to the Florida weather. Balls get wet easily with all the humidity and the hot weather and the perspiration.
On top of that, not to be too graphic, but it seems Jensen is a sweaty guy. So the concept of dry balls was hard for Jensen to master.
And Brady is very much a stickler about dry balls.
So yesterday Bucs coach Bucco Bruce Arians was asked about how Jensen was managing getting on the same page with Brady in keeping balls dry.
“Ryan’s been really, really solid,” Arians said. “He’s learning to play with a couple of towels in his pants, but other than that it’s been a really good combination.”
Joe never heard of a center having to shove extra towels in his pants to keep balls dry. But hey, whatever it takes to keep Brady’s balls dry, you have to adjust, adapt and overcome.
September 26th, 2020 at 12:23 am
This post is Bear Grylls approved.
September 26th, 2020 at 12:55 am
Joe, what is that picture of Jensen from?
September 26th, 2020 at 1:02 am
And enter the ndog Rant anytime now
September 26th, 2020 at 1:04 am
I am pretty sure that that is a picture from Jensen’s sleep apnea test Cleanhouse
September 26th, 2020 at 1:04 am
I am pretty sure that is Jensen’s sleep apnea study picture
September 26th, 2020 at 1:34 am
Old news… the pictures from when he almost died from covid, so stay home!!! 🤣🤣🤣
September 26th, 2020 at 2:22 am
“Brady likes dry balls” 🤣🤣 good laugh before bed. Thanks Joe LOL!
September 26th, 2020 at 2:40 am
Jensen’s wet balls hard on Jameis?
September 26th, 2020 at 2:54 am
Three cheers for dry 🏈 balls!
September 26th, 2020 at 3:18 am
You are welcome Vegas! 🙂
September 26th, 2020 at 3:41 am
I traded him off my Madden roster for this – a clean fella with dry balls to snap the ball to Brady. My passing per game went from 570yards and 6 TDs a game to 707yards and 9 TDs a game. If you don’t think having a ball drenched in ball sweat is a big deal, well, you ain’t ever played with no sweaty balls.
September 26th, 2020 at 6:00 am
I guess swamp ass caused most of Jameis “Pick Six” Winston’s errant throws. Or so the apologists would say.
BTW, I heard Jameis is starting a new protest group called Third String QB’s Matter.
September 26th, 2020 at 6:57 am
This is old news. Several articles were published on the subject here on jbf when Brady and crew were working out at the school.
Joe must be going senile… that would explain the constant repetition of the same stories over and over again on the Ira podcast..
September 26th, 2020 at 6:58 am
Ftmeyersbuc… no. That picture has nothing to do with covid. Jensen has sleep apnea dude.
September 26th, 2020 at 7:21 am
Reminds me of the Saturday Night Live skit with Alec Baldwin….”Schwetty Balls”
September 26th, 2020 at 7:56 am
They make plastic shorts that would keep the sweat completely away from Jensen’s uniform in that area. It would be extremely hard to get used to but probably worth it if it was truly a problem.
September 26th, 2020 at 7:58 am
Do they make XXXXLLL depends? That should keep his a#s dry.
September 26th, 2020 at 8:24 am
Great. I was trying to eat my breakfast. Just great.
September 26th, 2020 at 9:21 am
Hell! Late Brady dry his own balls. Jensen’s got to be thinking I’m not touching those. Humor for the day.
September 26th, 2020 at 11:06 am
Maybe Jensen will give him Schweddy balls for Christmas
September 26th, 2020 at 11:55 am
He didn’t mean completely shoved down his pants, he mean tucked in, and that’s been happening for a very long time.
September 26th, 2020 at 12:09 pm
All the jokes have been thought of already. “Quietly leaves.”
September 26th, 2020 at 12:25 pm
Alright. Guess that’s why he looks like he’s carrying a load. Thank you.
September 26th, 2020 at 4:39 pm
2 towels and an air pin!