Peter King Says Johnny Is A Buccaneer Man

May 6th, 2014
johnny football 1216

What an appropriate color top

The national media honcho with arguably the best NFL sources, the most street cred — and the guy who has inhaled the most pre-draft smoke — believes Johnny Football will be a Tampa Bay Buccaneer in a matter of hours.

Fight-instigatingbarista-training, pedestrian-bumpingolive oil-lappingpopcorn-munchingcoffee-slurpingfried-chicken-eatingoatmeal-lovingcircle-jerkingbeer-chuggingcricket-watchingscone-loathingcollege football-naïve, baseball box score-reading Peter King of Sports Illustrated and NBC Sports fame is out with his annual mock draft today.

King predicts “who teams will select,” versus what he thinks should happen. Below are his top-7 picks. Joe finds the Bucs’ call especially intriguing given how much 1-0n-1 time King has spent with Johnny Football and undoubtedly talked to him about what kind of vibe/feedback he got from teams.

No. 1:  Houston – Khalil Mack
No. 2: St. Louis – Greg Robinson
No. 3: Jacksonville – Sammy Watkins
No. 4: Atlanta – Jadeveon Clowney (traded up)
No. 5 Oakland – Jake Matthews
No. 6 Cleveland – Mike Evans (traded down)
No. 7: Tampa Bay – Johnny Manziel

On the Bucs’ selection of Johnny Football, King wrote, “Wow. Three players in a row from A&M. Imagine that. If the Bucs do this, Manziel gets to learn for at least half the season behind Josh McCown (a very good player-coach), and the Bucs might be able to turn Mike Glennon into a late day-two pick.”

Joe wishes he was in lockstep with King. It would be an outstanding move for the Bucs to draft Johnny Football and get a third-round pick for Glennon. Regular readers here know Johnny Football is Joe’s preferred pick. However, Joe would be surprised if Johnny Football is sitting there gift wrapped for Tampa Bay at No. 7, and Glennon likely only fetches a fourth-rounder.

Joe believes there are flimsy odds (19 percent chance?) Johnny Football gets past both Jacksonville and Cleveland. And Joe doesn’t expect the Bucs to trade up.

However, Joe’s Johnny Football fantasy just got a shot in the arm. Joe might have to spring for a succulent black grouper and fries lunch to celebrate.

32 Responses to “Peter King Says Johnny Is A Buccaneer Man”

  1. Rob Says:

    Can we fire the phrase “Buccaneer Man”?

  2. FLBoyInDallas Says:

    Fake plastic t-ts and a quarter inch of eyeliner? Pass. I’d rather “pull” something a little classier.

  3. Maze Says:

    Yeah agree with the lame ‘Buccaneer Man’ labeling all the time. Seriously, what does that even really mean? Bortles or Johnny at 7 please.

  4. Lynch Says:


    After months of slogging through various articles and blogs, I am sold! We need JF! I am just afraid he will be gone 🙁

  5. BoJim Says:

    FLBoyInDallas. You’d hit it in a minute but you can’t pull. Is that what you really mean? BWA HAHAHAHAHA..

  6. The_Buc_Realist Says:

    Joe will be happy, then during the season he will be said when Clowney sacks JF repeatedly.

  7. The_Buc_Realist Says:


  8. nate Says:

    Im not on the manziel bandwagon but if we do draft him…. I must say I want to see his first game more then any player in a long time…

  9. Max Says:

    “Fake plastic t-ts and a quarter inch of eyeliner? Pass. I’d rather “pull” something a little classier.”

    Oh yeah totally man she’s definitely a 2/10 at best….now MOM GET ME MY HOTPOCKETS!!!

  10. Patrick in VA Says:

    @Rob – Over the course of the last 4-5 years the definition of “Buccaneer Man” has gone from being a party guy to a shut up and do your job guy to whatever it means this year. It’s a meaningless term right now and, until we have about 5-6 years of continuity and an identity, I agree that we should put the term to bed.

  11. bucrightoff Says:

    The Bucs are not getting a 3rd round pick for Glennon unless they trade him before the draft….which obviously also tips their hand and allows someone to jump in front of them. He’ll be dealt after (or if) a QB is drafted and net a 6th rounder, maybe a 5th.

  12. Snook Says:

    King’s mock looks like it could be accurate except if Cleveland goes from 4 to 6, they’re taking Manziel. Not Evans.

  13. Buc1987 Says:

    Mike Evans is coming to Tampa.

  14. Tye Says:

    Well, if this does come to be true, at least the Bucs games should be entertaining watching JF panic and frantic running around in circles just before fumbling the ball away or getting plowed constantly by defenders…

    Possibly another 5 years before the Bucs make it to the playoffs!

  15. Nick H Says:

    Dem titttttttteehhhhss

  16. Architek Says:

    I want Carr or Broytles

  17. Patrick Says:

    For a second I read that as “Johnny is a Buccaneer Fan”

  18. OAR Says:

    Last time I touched a breast it came from a bucket.

  19. stratobuc Says:

    Oh look, a smokescreen!

  20. DooshLaRue Says:

    That chick is pretty.
    Pretty shanky.
    She looks like she belongs in that (not nice–Joe)

  21. robert6 Says:

    does lovie seem like the type of risk taker that would pin his hopes on a rookie QB?

    to me he doesn’t, but then again it is sounding more and more like our offense will be more like the eagles and not in line with MG.

    who the hell knows. bring on the draft!

  22. Chris@Apple Roof Cleaning Says:

    Johnny Football will Galvanize the entire Tampa Bay Fanbase like no other draft pick will.

  23. BFFL Says:

    Johnny wont make it past the Rams at #2.

  24. Sweets Willie Says:

    My Buccaneer Man T-shirt is now in Zimbabwe! Now you tell me its still cool!

  25. bigpoppabuc Says:

    I really have no idea what they’re going to do. If they plan on sticking with McCown they’ll need to really solidify this O-Line. If they pass on that they’ll have to go for a Manziel type, someone who can escape the pressure that’s sure to come.
    and if they go with a rookie QB they better get him some help (Landry or Lee). If they pass on both those scenarios they better build this defense into the top five. Either way, they’ve at least done a good job of building a blinding cloud of smoke. Hell we may end up with Anthony Barr and T. Boyde.

  26. Brandon Says:

    FLBoyInDallas Says:
    May 6th, 2014 at 11:43 am
    Fake plastic t-ts and a quarter inch of eyeliner? Pass. I’d rather “pull” something a little classier.


    Whatever… that chick is hot, end of story. As far as eyeliner, I didn’t realize she had eyes. As far as her fake melons…pffffft. If that’s your opinion then you probably have ZERO experience. Trust me, they look better than the real thing and taste exactly the same.

  27. Mathius Says:

    I hope Johny Boy is ready if we do draft him!

    If the Bucs aren’t near the top of league in rushing by week 5 Luke or Josh or what ever McCown wont be secure in there starting role. His career 77 passer rating is less than our third stringers passer rating 83.9.

    check out this 2013 back up QB ranking Josh was number 28.

  28. Mathius Says:

    Oregon St WR Cook in round 2 would be a nice compliment to Johny Boy

  29. buc'd Up Says:

    Fake? If you can squeeze them, they are real my friend!

  30. buc'd Up Says:

    Seems like lots of people are judging Johnny Football by all the tallent he is pulling. Hate to break it to you but that’s why they started playing the game. think Glennon sings in the choir on his off days? Nope, he’s getting after it. You think Freeman wasn’t out there gettin all he could? Don’t hate.

  31. Chef Paul Says:

    With cans like that, what sane man is looking at her eyes? Unless she is giving the “F*ck me” eyes. That’s the only time to look a bimbo in the eyes!!

  32. Patrick McV Says:

    Well then he must be there in the 3rd rd because there is no way we pick him in the first . Sorry joe we need a starter not a guy holding a clip board being a distraction .