Winslow Victim Of Wardrobe Malfunction
January 17th, 2014
This is getting better by the moment.
Yesterday, a report came out that a woman claimed DJ Toes on the Line, aka Sgt. Winslow, aka, former Bucs tight end Kellen Winslow, Jr., was seeking chicken and choking his chicken in the upscale privacy of a New Jersey Target parking lot.
The publicist for DJ Toes on the Line, Denise White, was outraged at the allegation, claiming Sgt. Winslow was changing clothes.
“Kellen pulled over to a parking lot to smoke what he thought at the time was a legal substance. He changed his clothes in his vehicle as not to smell like smoke when he returned home. There was absolutely nothing inappropriate that took place and if there was police would have investigated further and charged Kellen which they did not. This will be the only time we will comment on this unfounded and ridiculous claim.”
Now Joe isn’t sure what role the two jars of Vaseline found with Winslow played in the changing of clothes, nor how one can (ahem) stand at attention just by changing clothes, unless someone is a weirdo J. Edgar Hoover-type and gets off wearing women’s lingerie.
Also, lost in the claim that Sgt. Winslow was choking his chicken (allegedly) is that he was also smoking fake pot, which his publicist freely admits.
If Joe is doing his math right, per White, Sgt. Winslow would catch more hell from his wife from smelling like fake pot than if she found out he was dancing with himself (allegedly).
Joe still isn’t sure why one would need an extra set of clothes in his car just to whack off smoke fake dope.
Additionally, Joe likes good food and likes chicken but never thought Boston Market was so good you’d have to, well, you know, in the car.
January 17th, 2014 at 8:33 pm
Who, cares i thought this was a buc’s blog
January 17th, 2014 at 8:34 pm
This guy got problems. Not Davone Bess problems, but problems nonetheless.
January 17th, 2014 at 8:37 pm
I’d be more scared the of the wife.. His divorce settlement will be far more than his fines. LOL….
I won’t be eating chicken for a while thanks to all the comments in the previous post. Jerk Chicken on the grill used to be my favorite. Now I am not so sure.
How embarrassed his father must be. Sr was a class act…
January 17th, 2014 at 8:47 pm
@Ed – settle down bro. It’s the off season
January 17th, 2014 at 8:51 pm
Can we call him Pee Wee now????
January 17th, 2014 at 8:54 pm
The solder was fighting a 1 hand battle with the Germans
January 17th, 2014 at 8:54 pm
Couldn’t have picked a better photo.
January 17th, 2014 at 9:04 pm
Two jars of vaseline? Sounds like the Lil’ General tried to ignore his ass too, just like his wife is.
January 17th, 2014 at 9:37 pm
Wow and his wife Janelle Winslow is quite a good looking gal too.
January 17th, 2014 at 9:50 pm
The soldier was at attention.
January 17th, 2014 at 9:50 pm
Spice or whatever brand he was smoking is far worse than pot. I’m sure it played a role in his decision making.
January 17th, 2014 at 9:52 pm
And yes this is a Bucs blog but cmon it’s way too good pass up
January 17th, 2014 at 9:53 pm
And who hasn’t rubbed one out in a Target parking lot with two jars of Vaseline while fantasizing about Boston Market? I mean come on.
January 17th, 2014 at 10:24 pm
“J. Edgar Hoover type”
Hilarious.
January 17th, 2014 at 10:27 pm
Not mention there are more eco friendly substances than Vaseline. Surprised the tree huggers are not protesting. Go Waterbased.. Sgt
January 17th, 2014 at 10:28 pm
Oh man! That’s some funny shizz right there! Fantasizing about Boston Market. That’s a good one.
January 17th, 2014 at 10:29 pm
Now THAT headline did not disappoint. This guy just can’t stay out of the weeds. And I’m pretty glad he’s no longer here.
January 17th, 2014 at 10:58 pm
That is too funny! Funnier than a pill needed to perform.
January 17th, 2014 at 11:57 pm
too funny Joe
January 18th, 2014 at 12:12 am
Ok one jar was for Rosie Palm and her four sisters, … but what was the other jar for?
quick …look under the seat!
To be somewhat fair and balanced, Winslow is inked up heavily, and anyone who’s had a tatt knows you typically keep a new one covered in Vaseline. It’s at least reasonable he got suspended by the Jets and ran out for some fresh ink, chicken and stress relief. –Joe
January 18th, 2014 at 1:35 am
LOL, great commentary.
January 18th, 2014 at 2:24 am
Lmao!
Well, all that Vaseline, and his palms all lubed up.
No wonder he had problems dropping the ball this season!
And a grilled chicken fetish, on top of it all.
Two jars? Wonder if he stashed a drumstick!
January 18th, 2014 at 9:41 am
I guess this explains all the dropped passes his last year here.
January 18th, 2014 at 11:00 am
Why would he change into clothes that were inside the same vehicle in which he was smoking? Everything is gonna smell like that crap. That synthetic pot is bad news, this is hilarious. First Tebowing, now
Winslowing.
January 18th, 2014 at 11:28 am
My questions for this current NFLer are as follows:
Target?
Synthetic?
Vaseline?
January 18th, 2014 at 12:52 pm
Winslowing!!!
January 18th, 2014 at 1:00 pm
Ole Palmela Handerson.
I’ve never tried fake weed. Is it a decent high??
January 18th, 2014 at 1:58 pm
FLBoyInDallas Says
“And who hasn’t rubbed one out in a Target parking lot with two jars of Vaseline while fantasizing about Boston Market? I mean come on.”
You are a sick man. LOL.
Besides, Walmart is better. The Vas is cheaper.
(oh, god, I just threw up in my mouth)
January 18th, 2014 at 2:18 pm
Ha, Winslowing!! too funny!
January 18th, 2014 at 9:16 pm
What a Jerk Off!
January 19th, 2014 at 7:08 am
probably a rest area f@g too