Heat Will Be On Bills

December 6th, 2013

Bill Sheridan and Darrelle Revis explain

Every year at about this time, Joe hears all the whining from the local yentas who happen to have access to a microphone. These skirts want, need, must have cold weather because it is December and Christmastime.

Joe has a four-letter word for these hausfraus: Ohio. You want cold, go (back?) to Ohio where you can have all the cold weather you could want for nine months of the year and for five months of the year scrape ice off your windshields at 6 a.m. with the sharp wind stinging your face.

 And throw your back out shoveling snow all the while getting frostbite.

(Joe isn’t sure there is a red-blooded, football-crazed American male who demands cold weather so he can break out his stylish winter wardrobe. WTH?)

Joe moved to Florida a lifetime ago to escape that pathetic, miserable way of life. Man, 80 degrees and grilling outside at night in December, Joe’s loving life! Awesome!

Joe senses that Bucs commander Greg Schiano is grinning with the fact the game against the bungling Bills at the Stadium on Dale Mabry Highway is, per Joe’s good friends at WTSP-TV Channel 10, to be played at 82 degrees Sunday. The Bills, mind you, will be looking at a high in Buffalo today of 36 with snow.

In other words, Schiano is hoping if not expecting the Bills to melt in the west-central Florida Sunshine.

“I know when [while coaching with the Bears] used to come down here to play and it was cooler up north, we had an indoor [facility]. We turned the heat up in the indoor and got the guys ready for it,” Schiano said. “I’m sure [Bills Head Coach] Doug [Marrone is] doing something to that nature if they have the ability to do that. I don’t know if they have the heat in their indoor.”

Bucs stud cornerback Darrelle Revis seems to be looking forward to working the Bills into heat exhaustion Sunday.

“I think at this point we are used to the heat,” Revis said. “It is an advantage for us [against] teams like Buffalo coming down from the cold.

“I remember a number of times [playing for the Jets] going down to Miami and the whole week [prior], coaches are telling us to hydrate as much as we can and to get our rest because the weather down here is a beat. It is a monster and can sneak up on you very fast and the next thing you know, guys are getting IVs or cramping up.”

Both Schiano and Revis are truly hoping the axiom from Vince Lombardi, with help from the Florida sun, proves true Sunday. “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.”

This, along with the Bills’ struggles stopping the run, is why Joe thinks the Bucs are going to play good old fashioned smashmouth football Sunday, and take Buffalo’s will.

7 Responses to “Heat Will Be On Bills”

  1. Chef Paul Says:

    My friends and I have this debate every time it gets hot in the summer and cold in the winter. I’m the kind of guy that would take -20 all day long over 95. Then throw in the humidity? Yuck. It would take a putty knife to scrape my testes off my leg in that heat.

    But it’s true. Now that the north is used to the cold, 82 degrees would feel like 100 degrees right now. These guys should be as miserable as you guys are when it dips under 30.

  2. Tampabaybucfan Says:

    Joe….off subject…but do you know or can you find out….why we don’t put Nicks on IR….and why we have 4 FBs? Are they big on Special Teams?…

  3. Warrenfb12 Says:

    So true. But I lived in Maine. THAT was nasty.

  4. Laughing Stock II Says:

    Well, if Vincent Jackson does not play, I think the heat is more on Schiano and the coaches to figure out how to overcome double teams on Underwood to produce points. Once again, the coaches or Glennon won’t be able to hide behind talent. Hopefully Lyndell will be hotter than the temperature.

    Winnable game may become another photocopy of college coaching.

    Maybe we should ask the fans to help us with loud cheering for our players or against Schiano. I’m sure the coaches will take it either way.

  5. Laughing Stock II Says:

    Hey Joe I have a suggestion for the Glazers. Feel free to pass this on. You have better connections than I do.

    The Glazers should give USF students a 50% off on tickets for the rest of the season. This will create hopefully a larger attendance for the home team. Also to inspire better coaching I think the Glazers should have the USF band sitting with the fans and playing the coaches request. And of coarse they will be the halftime show for the rest of the season too. Halftime performance is a must to get coaches fired up with the second half adjustments. This should make the coaches right at home. Schiano won’t be forced to ask the fans to cheer for them like a college coach. But then again this probably work for him in college so he will continue asking. Remember trying to force a fumble on the QB at the final minute of the game worked in college.

    I couldn’t help it. At this point humor is required.

    Go Bucs!!!

  6. Bucfan#37 Says:

    You would think the heat would be to the Bucs advantage. In the past years that has’nt been the case in my memory. I have never experienced the bitter cold being born and living here my entire life. The coldest it was in Tampa that I remember was 16 degrees when I walked to junior high school in the early 60’s.

  7. Schiano Happens Says:

    I went to Boston for Thanksgiving and experienced some of that cold weather these transplants are always pining for for some reason. They can have it. Everything people like about cold weather has to do with trying not to die from it: scarves, fireplaces, hot liquids. Forget that.