Out House Networks May Jam Bucs FansApril 20th, 2011
[CLARIFICATION: Per Woody Cummings of the Tampa Tribune, the NFL allows NFL Network games to be simulcast on a free broadcast station in the markets of the participating teams, as always, provided there is no blackout.]
[CLARIFICATION II: NFL Network spokesman Dennis Johnson returned one of Joe’s e-mails this afternoon and confirmed the broadcast feed of the Saturday night game with Dallas will be offered to an over-the-air station in the Tampa Bay area.]
Now that the Bucs schedule has been released, Joe finds it more than a bit interesting one of the prime time home games will be on the Man’s Channel, the NFL Network.
Loyal readers of Joe know how much Joe worships the NFL Network. If Joe was given the choice of a lengthy, sweaty, heavy-breathing, late-night tryst with Rachel Watson or giving up the NFL Network, Joe would have to think and ponder quite a while, and lean toward passing on Rachel.
That’s how good the NFL Network is.
It’s comfort food for the thinking football fan. In the throes of an offseason with no NFL games in sight, when the powers that be who proudly fly the hammer and sickle in Bristol are doing their best to try to ram down your throat the non-basketball association, the NFL Network is a pure oasis.
There are, after all, other busty Bucs cheerleaders to enjoy a moment of rapture with; there is only one NFL Network.
Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, the Saturday night game against the Cowboys is sold out. That means a great percentage of the Tampa Bay area might not see the Bucs play on a Thursday night.
And the villain in this all but true tale is the satanic Out House Networks.
Column intermission: Joe knows many people who work for this outfit. This has nothing to do with them, good people all. This has everything to do with the suits who run that syndicate.
Out House Networks has long been hostile to football fans in this market and holding the area hostage from not having the NFL Network borders on racketeering in Joe’s eyes. Just like the mob in Little Italy strong-armed innocent citizens to cough up cash each month all for the sake of protection, Out House Networks may actually serve the good football fans of the Tampa Bay area, so long as they can take both naive consumers and cable operators to the cleaners.
But the strange dance partner in all of this is Team Glazer. Out House Networks is a pewter partner, a corporate sponsor of the Buccaneers. How rich will it be that the very same corporate sponsor of the Tampa Bay area’s favorite sports team will prevent the very same fans from watching the game, for reasons that are not quite clear.
In fact, there are no reasons. If Out House Networks can cram every godless, boring, vapid shopping channel onto its basic cable packages — channels that consumers involuntarily pay for through the nose — and Out House Networks can boast at every commercial how it cares for the community, and burn countless dollars (fronted by customers) and electricity to break such Pulitzer Prize-winning stories such as how the Brandon city park has a new swing set and a ditch in Largo needs widening, then this same outfit can surely add the NFL Network.
Lest anyone forget, Team Glazer owns a 1/32 piece of the NFL Network. So one of the Buccaneers corporate sponsors is doing its best to keep the Bucs themselves from making a profit and growing its brand. Can you imagine?
Last week Team Glazer explained, through both confidential sources and rock star general manager Mark Dominik, how the team was going on the offensive in order to ensure the Bucs are marketed to hungry football fans. One step was offering to play a home game in London. Yet one of its own corporate sponsors will prevent a large swath of its own fan base from watching the game, for no valid reason.
In short Bucs fans, if you want to guarantee you see the Bucs play the Cowboys on the glorious NFL Network and the game is sold out, there are four cable TV carriers available in the Tampa Bay area — five if you include Sarasota — and only one does not have the NFL Network.
If ever there was a time for Bucs fans to disable this corrupt cable, it is now Bucs fans.
Once you watch the NFL Network, you can’t imagine why you deprived yourself for so long. It’s like living without running water.
Joe doesn’t need to know what the damned temperature is every five minutes.
Joe suspects area football fans need the NFL Network.