Morning Cup Of Joe

June 13th, 2019

Welcome to your Morning Cup of Joe, an eye-opener to help Joe’s readers ease into their busy workday with a few football links, wacky news and a pleasant distraction.

Distraction of the Day

Cranky Greg Gabriel, former Bears scouting director and Twitter flamethrower, leaves Pro Football Weekly to run the Washington XFL franchise. [PFW]

All-Geek all star team. [NFL]

How many Bucs fans will subscribe to HBO to watch Chucky on “Hard Knocks?” [PFT]

Jalen Ramsey won’t be shown the money. Dang, Tom Coughlin is getting awfully tight in the rectum with the Khan cash. [CBS Sports]

A cheesesteak cheesecake? Why not? Bet you won’t find that at some pinko commie no-plastic-bag paper-straw vegan bakery. (Sorry Jen Epstein.) [Philadelphia Inquirer]

Gator takes a chomp out of police cruiser bumper. [Facebook]

Oh no, Pasco! New Port Richey man (not Ira), 48, puts his roommate, 70, in a headlock and claws his face after the old man wouldn’t let him shower because he’s too clean. Not sure where to start with this one. [WTVT]

FOX News still hiring horndogs. On-air personality alleged to have sent lewd texts to Britt McHenry. [TheBigLead]

36 Responses to “Morning Cup Of Joe”

  1. Magadude Says:

    Ah, included paper straws today! Love it!

  2. Magadude Says:

    How odd…just talking about Tyrus yesterday. Yup, send lewd texts to a co-worker, expect trouble. Some guys just can’t help but throw a good thing away.

  3. Totally Exonerated Says:

    Tyrus has been an angry prick the last few weeks. Must be why.

    Dude works hand in hand with Kat Timpf and he picks Britt to hit on? Kat has it all: Looks, brains, sense of humor. Britt has looks and it stops there.

  4. Ghost of Darrell Henderson Says:

    I will watch Chuckie on HBO. It will be epic!

  5. HowToSpellRhonde Says:

    Joe seems insecure of vegans and looks foolish wearing it. Sure, vegans can be imbeciles, but calling them commies sounds like someone thinks in black and white. So you eat meat, dairy, and processed foods, Joe – guess that makes you special. It makes you look like the average overweight American, too.

  6. unbelievable Says:

    Someone likes something different from me, grrrrrr they must be a pinko commie! Now where’s my bud light?


  7. Neal Says:

    Uh oh Joe. Don’t tell me you’re one of those paper straw snowflakes. Straws are for children, drink out of the cup like an adult. Complaining about having to use a paper straw instead of a plastic one is some of the most entitled, lazy crap i have ever heard. You can tell a lot about a persons sense of entitlement when they even think about what their straw is made out of and then constantly complain when they have to use something else. Definitely the softest generation yet.

  8. Totally Exonerated Says:

    Since lefties think any and all criticism is based on “insecurities” all I got to say is: My my my. Look at all the insecurities to Joe this morning. LOL. You guys take Joe’s one-liners in the Morning Cup far too seriously. –Joe

  9. HowToSpellRhonde Says:

    Joe uses his platform to ridicule others. I’m sure he can handle himself fine without your defense, Chodelopper.

  10. Totally Exonerated Says:

    I appreciate the one liners. Maybe it helps that I agree with them too. I’ve never heard the term pinko commie before the other day. I had to look it up. Now I use it in my day to day repertoire

  11. Totally Exonerated Says:

    I’m not defending. I’m calling out. It’s about time you learn how to interpret the English language Rooskie.

  12. HowToSpellRhonde Says:

    You’ve educated a massive fool, Joe. Congratulations

  13. Totally Exonerated Says:

    Well now you insecure towards me. 😂

  14. HowToSpellRhonde Says:

    You amuse me. You use a political handle on football site, but never knew the term pinko commie. You are a no-nothing moron. You don’t need me to prove it.

  15. Totally Exonerated Says:

    So it’s my handle that’s causing all those insecurities for you? Sorry about that. Must be because a know nothing moron was right the entire time and you fell for the biggest scam in the countries history.

    That would irk me too!!

  16. Totally Exonerated Says:

    Would you like me to change it so you’re not so triggered? I’ll do that for you because I’m good people. Lmk

  17. Magadude Says:

    Vegan is a separate and distinct descriptor. It is not necessarily related to commie pinkos, though there could be a high correlation, or instances in which a commie pinko could possess all of those qualities. It is not unrealistic that commie pinkos laud the outlaw of plastic bags and also plastic straws (yes, some adults do use straws, and wisely so…and SHOULD call out such a travesty). Paper straws go with bright ideas like outlawing fossil fuels. Joe exudes amazing tolerance for all.

    Phrase of the day: “No-nothing moron.” So many responses possible for that one. Man, that’s classic.

  18. HowToSpellRhonde Says:

    Again, you don’t need my help to prove the kind of meth head fool you are Chode.

  19. Totally Exonerated Says:

    That’s *former meth head to you, doll.

  20. HowToSpellRhonde Says:

    @ magadude

    There are maybe 4 communist governments in existence today. You won’t find many vegans in them. It an outdated term, and those that use it tend to not know a thing about it but feel so clever when using it. Typical

  21. Totally Exonerated Says:

    Pinko commie is not full blown commie. Maybe you should look it up too you no-nothing moron

  22. HowToSpellRhonde Says:

    Sorry, I was going to say some mean and nasty things about you Chode. I’m happy you’re a former, but you will never get those brain cells back. At least your skin probably no longer resembles watered down Mountain Dew, yet in comparison it makes Edward James Olmos look like a spokesman for Neutrogena. How many lives did you ruin other than own?

  23. HowToSpellRhonde Says:

    When did I try to define “pinky”? Are you calling Joe a moron?

    Still dumber than the average methhead

  24. Totally Exonerated Says:

    Apparently just yours with my dark sinister yet totally accurate handle.

  25. Totally Exonerated Says:

    Then your reply to MAGA had nothing tondo with what he said. Sorry. Didn’t know you were just randomly jumping from topic to topic without warning.

  26. HowToSpellRhonde Says:

    Oh, that explains it. Meth contaminates everything around it, even years after smoking it. It might be time to upgrade to that double-wide now.

  27. Totally Exonerated Says:

    Double wide? Why do you want me having sex with your woman? Are you a cuck or something? 😂😂

  28. HowToSpellRhonde Says:

    You could try a run on her, but she’s very healthy and fit. Sorry, I know you prefer skeletons, scabs, and hepatitis C. I hear your wife whistles when she speaks.

  29. Totally Exonerated Says:

    Being able to fit through a doorway doesn’t equal “fit”

  30. HowToSpellRhonde Says:

    I’ll quit now while you’re ahead.

    Now, go kiss your wife on the cheek so that both of you can use tongue.

  31. Magadude Says:

    @Totally Exonerated….correct…it is not full blown commie. In many cases, the reference is just “pinko”. Joe wisely includes “commie” because it appears he believes in giving the lowest common denominator a leg up. It’s about understanding.

  32. HowToSpellRhonde Says:

    We have a stable genius with us today, folks.

    Btw, I know what your acronym means from a previous post, save yourself the explanation.

  33. Buccfan37 Says:

    I eat 99% vegan and am still fat around the gut. Do potato chips count as vegan?

  34. unbelievable Says:

    Lol clod has really become a full blown fake news casualty, huh?


    I still Have hopes for you though bud! Lol.

  35. Totally Exonerated Says:

    You only say a bunch of nothing any more. I’ll take what you say seriously when Cali ain’t in the news all the time for being a sht hole from the way you vote.

  36. Barack's Crack Pipe Says:

    Cheesesteak cheesecake bookmarked!