THE PESSIMIST: Son of Bob Blows

August 12th, 2008
If Brian Griese takes the field for the Bucs this year, Bucs fans will be hanging their heads in shame.

If Brian Griese takes the field for the Bucs this year, Bucs fans will be hanging their heads in shame.

Rick Brown of the Lakeland Ledger really needs to take a cold shower. Or at least do some research.

In a column/love note he penned, he slobbers all over Son of Bob as if the guy is the next Joe Montana. Drools Brown:

Griese worked the West Coast Offense to perfection, connecting with open Tampa Bay receivers at random. In fact, Griese’s longest completion was 14 yards during that drive. Tampa Bay also converted two fourth-and-1s during the scoring drive.

Call Canton! Son of Bob converted two fourth downs where the Bucs needed a yard – one freaking yard!

Someone really needs to get Brown a towel. Or possibly some game tape of Son of Bob. Real game tape, not these glorified scrimmages the NFL trots out in August. Maybe Brown can answer the following:

*If Son of Bob was so good, how come one of the best quarterback coaches in the game, Mike Shanahan, let him go?

*If Son of Bob was so good, how come he couldn’t beat out Jay Fiedler in Miami? Jay Fiedler!

*If Son of Bob was so good, how come he couldn’t beat out Kyle Orton in Chicago? Kyle Freaking Orton!

*More importantly, if Son of Bob was so good, why did Chucky release him two years ago?

Has Brown not watched how defensive backs foam at the mouth at the opportunity to return Son of Bob’s (numerous) interceptions into six points… for the opposition? Does Brown not remember Son of Bob single-handedly made Kenyatta Walker a valuable commodity for his skill in running down defensive backs, preventing them from scoring after picking off Son of Bob?

Son of Bob is brutal beyond words. If he ever has to step on the field for the Bucs during the regular season, this team’s hopes of the playoffs are sunk.

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