Archive for the ‘THE PESSIMIST’ Category

Geniuses Like Chucky Are Too Smart

Monday, August 11th, 2008
Overly complex playbooks like Chuckys is why the play of NFL quarterbacks, to a large degree, smell worse than an unwashed jock strap.

Overly complex playbooks like Chucky's is why the play of NFL quarterbacks, to a large degree, smells worse than an unwashed jock strap.

Joe apologizes up front for the long post.

As usual on Monday mornings, in an effort to forget the depressing rigors of work, Joe logged on to Peter King’s Monday Morning Quarterback, a must read for football fans year-round.

King, a Lord Favre acolyte, had an interesting quote from Lord Favre:

“I’ve always felt in any offense or defense throughout the NFL there’s way too much volume in a playbook. Coaches have way too much free time.’

This is something Joe has long believed to be true. Not to sound like an old fart, but Joe remembers when every team had a decent quarterback. Even non-playoff teams had good quarterbacks.

In today’s NFL, you can count the number of good quarterbacks almost on one hand. Joe always wondered how there can be so many good QB’s in college, yet few succeed in the NFL. Yet the NFL can have running backs that don’t even start for their college teams and aren’t even drafted that develop into Pro Bowlers and stars.

Here’s Joe’s theory:

There are too many wannabe offensive geniuses (That means guys like you Chucky!). These self-inflated NFL Stephen Hawkings are like trigonometry professors in college. The problem is, their pupils are not intelligent enough to grasp trigonometry. Let’s be honest, most football players major in football in college. Not saying quarterbacks are dumb but only a small percentage of the population can excel in trigonometry.

A good number of NFL offenses, thanks to coaches like Chucky and his ilk, need Ivy League-type scholars to comprehend the playbook. Even Chucky admits it takes a quarterback a few years to fully digest his playbook, which is insane. That’s like saying, “My quarterback will not succeed for a couple of years until he understands my playbook so we won’t be much of a team until then.”

The problem that creates is, Ivy League graduates aren’t physically talented enough to wing a pass between two lighting-fast cornerbacks or big enough to take the punishment from bruising NFL linebackers and defensive ends.

In short, not everyone is cut out to be a trigonometry major, just like not everyone can be a writer, or a biologist, or an astronaut or a linebacker for that matter. Joe is convinced that is why the NFL, in large part, has rotten quarterbacks and why the play of quarterbacks has deteriorated over the years instead of progressing like other positions in the NFL have.

THE PESSIMIST: Pray Chucky is Lying

Sunday, August 10th, 2008
Brian Griese proves that for NFL quarterbacks, its not always who you know, but who your old man is.

Brian Griese proves that for NFL quarterbacks, it's not always who you know, but who your old man is.

If Brian Griese’s old man wasn’t named Bob and he wasn’t in the Pro Football Hall of Fame and a national college football analyst for ABC and BSPN, this butcher of a quarterback would be lucky to be playing in the AF2.

The fact the Bucs traded for this clown — remember, he couldn’t beat out Kyle Orton for the No. 2 quarterback spot with the Bears. Kyle Orton! — is alarming enough. But throw in Chucky’s comments reported by PewterReport.com after last night’s win over Miami in the Bucs first preseason game of 2008, and it’s disturbing enough to reach for a bottle of Jameson at 10 a.m. on a Sunday morning.

“Brian Griese has had a great camp. He did one heck of a job in the two-minute drill. It got a little hairy there because we wasted a timeout, but we still got the ball in the end zone. That was a great way to end the half.”

If the Bucs have to rely on Brian Griese this year they better sign the human holding penalty Kenyatta Walker. When Griese last played for the Bucs (which should have been his last) how many touchdowns did Walker save by tackling defensive backs on their way to running back interceptions — Griese’s interceptions — for six?

The Bucs would be better off acquiring Griese’s old man.