Bucs news forthcoming.

Deion Sanders had his $15,000 guard dog dognapped. How was it distracted for the culprits to grab it, someone showed it a centerfold of Lassie? [FoxSports]

Some country we live in. You can’t even bite your wife’s arse [ClickOrlando]

Why would someone thieve $500 worth of Crest white strips? [WHAS11]

Erin Andrews gets way too stressed at Kings games. [SI]

OK, which one of you guys lost a kangaroo in Pasco County? [WTSP]

So Tim Beckham is scared of midgets? [RaysIndex]

Bucs news forthcoming.

Cougars like David Wright, survey says. [TheBigLead]

Now this is how you apply for a job. [AOL]

How NIKE settles labor relations issues at its sweatshops in Indochina. [Daily Mail]

Joe just cannot imagine anyone dropping a grand at a clothing optional establishment much less $100,000. That is, unless, you are receiving special favours. Very special favours. [Miami New Times]

With all the change in the Rays’ starting pitchers, what can we expect from the rotation in the near future? [Rays Index]

Bucs news forthcoming.

Remember the Chicago peacock molester? A judge orders him to have a mental exam. Can you imagine? [Sun-Times]

Man busted for throwing concrete at St. Pete Hilton claiming he was trying to escape zombies. [TampaBay]

Um, doors were not made for this. [Sun-Sentinel]

Joe feels a little bad for Rob Gronkowski; not so much for the Patriots. [PFT]

The imbecile in the Rays minor leagues who is a walking jail term waiting to happen? He’s now got some free time to throw more change at strippers. [RaysIndex]

Bucs news forthcoming.

So Meshawn Johnson wanted to beat up his neighbor Justin Bieber? [TheBigLead]

What is the best holiday weekend to drive drunk when visiting the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania? [Philly]

Watch a bear get blasted by a car crossing a Russian road at the :23-second mark (left side of road just as a blue car passes). And like Doug Martin after getting leveled by a linebacker, the bear bounces right up and takes off running. And just like a linebacker who tangles with Martin, the car is out of action. [YouTube]

F’ off Olympics. Joe hasn’t watched your tripe in years (it’s sports for people who don’t like sports) and this seals it for the near future. [FoxSports]

Seriously. Who gives a damn if this “Jay Z” character wants to be a runner for a group of football agents? So what? How in any way does this make football better or worse? Such an overblown non-story. [PFT]

This Rays prospect is a jail sentence waiting to happen. And you thought Aqib Talib has problems. [RaysIndex]

Bucs news forthcoming.

Stop Joe if you heard this before: a star athlete marries an aspiring pop star/model (from Tampa Bay, no less) but after said athlete retires and the tens of millions of dollars of annual revenue evaporates, couple divorces. [TheBigLead]

Who is David Price tongue-wrestling in the dugout with? [Twitter]

This is just downright low: Pepper-spraying a baby. [Sun Sentinel]

Joe’s gotta wonder how much hell Adrian Peterson gets over this? Guess he should expect an IRS audit? [PFT]

Have the Rays righted their bullpen or is Miami just that miserable? [RaysIndex]

Bucs news forthcoming.

More LUH-bron stupidity. [FoxSportsFlorida]

Law supports dude riding a scooter near schools wearing a cape and a thong. [TimesUnion]

Another violent coach employed by Rutgers. [New York Post]

It’s the busy season for swarms of Africanized bees to take over your home. [Orlando Sentinel]

NFL wants to take players’ blood now, but test it later for HGH when they figure out how to do it. [BSPN]

Start your day with the Morning Cup of Joe from HootersCalendar.com. And don’t forget to visit HootersCalendar.com for amazing videos, pictures and cool gifts. It’s Joe’s second favorite website.

Bucs news forthcoming.

Man, if anything happens to Eddie Van Halen (God forbid!), here is his perfect replacement for Van Halen. A 14-year old girl pulls off maybe the best “Eruption” version since “The King” first played the song some 35 years ago. Amazing. [YouTube]

This video is a bit tough to watch but no less dramatic. The school that was wiped of the map by the Oklahoma tornado this week? Someone (a student?) shot video of the chaos outside what was left of the school just after the tornado passed and apparently before first responders arrived. [NewsOK]

Dixie Chicks may sign Richard Seymour. [FoxSportsSouth]

Trent Richardson is hurt. Again. [Cleveland.CBSLocal]

New Jersey bars filling top shelf liquor bottles with “swill.” No! [CBS Philly]

The playoff percentage chances for the Rays appear grim. [RaysIndex]

Start your day with the Morning Cup of Joe from HootersCalendar.com. And don’t forget to visit HootersCalendar.com for amazing videos, pictures and cool gifts. It’s Joe’s second favorite website.

Bucs news forthcoming.

If there is a more embarrassing arrest, Joe has not heard of it. [BrowardPalmBeach]

Dude was so drunk, he didn’t see the tree he slammed into. Thought his car just blew up while on the road. [Palm Beach Post]

Killer donkeys. [Daily News]

Man, Joe feels bad for Michael Crabtree, who seemed on the verge of breaking out. [PFT]

Did Merlot Joe set up Fernando Rodney to fail yesterday? [RaysIndex]

Start your day with the Morning Cup of Joe from HootersCalendar.com. And don’t forget to visit HootersCalendar.com for amazing videos, pictures and cool gifts. It’s Joe’s second favorite website.

Bucs news forthcoming.

Creative: Students let 10,000 crickets loose into high school. But Joe has a question: How the hell do you just obtain 10,000 crickets? [WSAZ]

So the Stalinists in the Kremlin Washington hacked into a CBS reporter’s computer, too? (Yes, Joe fully expects to be audited.) Аль хайль Ленин! [Politico]

Olivia Munn anyone? [Esquire]

Joe guesses pushing the draft back a week isn’t too awfully bad but please don’t put the combine in March. [PFT]

This is unreal video of the Moore, Okla. tornado. Storm chasers are nuts (though, a neat way to make a living) but you have to be a special kind of crazy to stare down that monster of a tornado and keep your camera rolling. [YouTube]

What was Fernando Rodney doing after he shot the moon? [RaysIndex]

Start your day with the Morning Cup of Joe from HootersCalendar.com. And don’t forget to visit HootersCalendar.com for amazing videos, pictures and cool gifts. It’s Joe’s second favorite website.

Bucs news forthcoming.

NFL owners struggling to get fans off the couch and into the stadium now thinking about installing tablet holders at each seat. Good idea but equally smart: Slash the obscene prices to park. [USA Today]

Once upon a time, an Albert Pujols at-bat was must-watch TV. Now? Eh. And this saddens Joe. [NBCSports]

Catching an 18-foot long snake. [Palm Beach Post]

So the combine will now be held in March and the draft in May? Great. That means screwing with March Madness and more grossly inaccurate mocks from the BSPN twins, Kiper and McShay that saps actually have to pay for. [TheBigLead]

Too much Lueke. [RaysIndex]

Here is what it is like to crawl out of a hole (storm shelter) and find your entire Oklahoma city has been wiped off the map by a monster tornado, replete with haunting tornado sirens in the background.

Start your day with the Morning Cup of Joe from HootersCalendar.com. And don’t forget to visit HootersCalendar.com for amazing videos, pictures and cool gifts. It’s Joe’s second favorite website.

Bucs news forthcoming.

You’d soil yourself too if you ate six steaks, shrimp, a birthday cake, drank a few beers and inhaled 57 cans of Reddi Whip. [WAVE]

Joe doesn’t watch music award shows, but if more people in attendance get leg-dropped like this, Joe might start. [Deadspin]

A drunk in a bar couldn’t butcher the National Anthem this badly. Carl Lewis is outraged. [YouTube]

NASCAR won the weekend with this ad. [TheBigLead]

So Buffalo’s offense (the Bills, that is) is easier than Florida State’s? No wonder the Bills have been so miserable! [PFT]

It seems Wil Myers has just a bit of an attitude problem. [RaysIndex]

Start your day with the Morning Cup of Joe from HootersCalendar.com. And don’t forget to visit HootersCalendar.com for amazing videos, pictures and cool gifts. It’s Joe’s second favorite website.

Bucs news forthcoming.

Man files suit claiming he was poisoned with Budweiser. [WPXI]

Talk about a buzzkill: Man dies after having sex with an active hornets nest. [IBTimes]

Mean Joe Green likes Ndamukong Suh. [Freep]

You know how some delusional Bucs fans hate Team Glazer because they own a kickball team? Well, the opposite is happening in Boston where the kickball crowd is mad at Bob Kraft, arguing he puts too much emphasis on the Patriots. [Boston]

The sad ending to Dick Trickle [TheBigLead]

You are not supposed to catch a home run ball with your grill. [RaysIndex]