Jason Licht As Steven Wright
March 23rd, 2015
Never forget, when in doubt, Bucs general manager Jason Licht once worked for Bill Belicheat. The four-time Super Bowl-winning coach is notorious for his monotone, tight answers to questions.
They very often carry solid sarcasm and dry wit that scoots past most listeners.
Licht may not have the dry wit sarcasm down quite yet, but from the fingers of Rick Stroud of the Tampa Bay Times, Licht is doing his best to pull off a Belicheat-type press conference.
To wit (per Stroud):
*On the plans for Dashon Goldson: “Dashon Goldson is on this football team right now.”
*On who he will pick in five weeks with the No. 1 overall pick: “Right now we are moving toward a consensus.”
*On repairing the offensive line: “We know where our holes are and we know we still have the draft and there still are some free agents out there.”
This is beautiful. Joe is still laughing. Now if Licht can just squeeze some sarcasm into those monotone, stale, empty quotes, he will have fully mastered his mentor, Belicheat.
March 23rd, 2015 at 5:43 pm
Hilarious Joe. This dude is one of my favorite comedians. Love the dry humor and sarcasm. Love it.
March 23rd, 2015 at 5:46 pm
That’s like an invitation to pile on. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Licht speak. Just a lot of smiles.
March 23rd, 2015 at 5:53 pm
I feel bad for Licht, It’s a shame his first opportunity is working for a has been that never was pathetic leader in Lovie Smith. I’d like to see what he could do with a real staff under him. Hopefully he will get the opportunity when glazers admit their mistake and send Lovie to the Basement permanently.
March 23rd, 2015 at 6:16 pm
I wonder if he has deleted all of his personal emails….
These guys are really good at not answering questions…..they have a job waiting for them as the next Press Secretary for POTUS!!!
March 23rd, 2015 at 6:30 pm
We got a great coach.
Go Lovie!
March 23rd, 2015 at 6:39 pm
@eric
fixed it for you,
Go Away Lovie!
March 23rd, 2015 at 6:39 pm
STEPHEN WRIGHT!!! One of my heroes…….
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
Steven Wright
Babies don’t need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach… it pisses me off! I’ll go over to a little baby and say ‘What are you doing here? You haven’t worked a day in your life!’
Steven Wright
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
Steven Wright
Babies don’t need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach… it pisses me off! I’ll go over to a little baby and say ‘What are you doing here? You haven’t worked a day in your life!’
Steven Wright
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’
Steven Wright
March 23rd, 2015 at 6:41 pm
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’
Steven Wright
HA – good one.
March 23rd, 2015 at 6:44 pm
I tried to watch his newer stuff…not nearly as funny as the 80’s stuff.
March 23rd, 2015 at 6:45 pm
Stfu….. How do you take one season of and suddenly become a has been? You want to mention his losing record on a team that’s been losing for a decade and losing for like 3 seasons with the same core players and forget to mention having a winning record despite coming to a losing franchise means he’s a winner. Loser that drafted mike Evans that Jason licht? That’s what stroud gets for coming out asking a stupid question about player’s you want compensation for and the idiotic question of who your going to draft. Imagine getting asked that questions everyday and not being able to be an a hole and rip him a new one. Wish licht has said worse for trying to provoke someone. Stroud is a turd and he knew those questions would go unanswered
March 23rd, 2015 at 7:02 pm
Lovie is about to be on Total Access. Tune in!
March 23rd, 2015 at 7:08 pm
If a man says something in the woods and no woman is there to hear it, is it still wrong?
March 23rd, 2015 at 7:13 pm
He did work for him and andy reid! Was “asked” i mean allowed to move on in both places…wonder why?
March 23rd, 2015 at 7:16 pm
“I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”
March 23rd, 2015 at 7:17 pm
*On the plans for Dashon Goldson: “Dashon Goldson is our safety of the future right now. However, we think Mike Jenkins has a bright future too.”
*On who he will pick in five weeks with the No. 1 overall pick: “Right now, Lovie really likes Jamarcus Russell. He thinks JM might also be able to also play some DT if he is incentivized with “purple drank”. With our favorable draft position, We could give up our #1 pick and trade for Jay Cutler. We need to bring Lovie up to speed on what is “purple drank” and how much money Cutler is pulling down first.
*On repairing the offensive line: “obviously, We think we are fine there since we signed f-ing nobody. We think our Olinemen are so much friggin better than the FAs that are available that we pay some of them twice what they are worth. Maybe we have some holes, but we know we still have the draft and you saw what a great job we did with that in the last draft and the superior coaching they got from Warhop. And there are also still some free agents out there that some GMs don’t know about, like Tony Manderich
Any more questions?
March 23rd, 2015 at 7:19 pm
I bet Pablo knows alot about Smoke. I wonder how he feels about all these smoke screens.
March 23rd, 2015 at 7:29 pm
bucs4lyfe
Lovie made a bad team worse. He doesn’t not get a lifetime free pass for losing a super bowl nearly a decade ago. I drank the Kool aid thought he changed but no. He is going to leave this team in worse shape than he found it. System specific prove it deal prayers is all he has signed not clear upgrades. Truth sucks
March 23rd, 2015 at 7:30 pm
I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add to it.
The guy who lives upstairs from me is completely insane…he once tried to to rob a department store with a pricing gun…”he said give me all the money in the safe, or I’ll mark down everything in the store!”
I was arrested the other day for scalping low numbers at the deli…I sold a number 3 for $28 bucks.
I have a map of the United States that’s actual size…its says “1 mile equals 1 mile”….last summer I folded it.
March 23rd, 2015 at 7:33 pm
Yeah one year is a “lifetime”.
Go Lovie.
March 23rd, 2015 at 7:59 pm
I finally got around to reading the dictionary the other day…. turns out the zebra did it.
March 23rd, 2015 at 8:00 pm
Ever wonder where this came from? Stephen Wright
“Women… can’t live with ’em…… can’t shoot ’em”
“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
“Right now I’m having amnesia and deja-vue at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
March 23rd, 2015 at 8:27 pm
Stupid questions get stupid answers.
March 23rd, 2015 at 10:28 pm
The Bucs have a great coach and good gm and they are running this team as though it were winner. I don’t know if buc fans realize that if not for horrible qb play you guy’s probably win the division and go to the playoffs. If you wanna know how much your division respects Lovie and the team look at how your division is changing to compete with you guys. Starting to see alot of big corners and Defense being prioritized. JUST MY OPINION
March 24th, 2015 at 8:47 am
I got some powdered water, just don’t know what to add.
I bought some batteries but they weren’t included.
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I’m the only one moving.
March 24th, 2015 at 9:00 am
[…] Meetings in Phoenix, Jason Licht held court and mentioned to Rick Stroud of the Tampa Bay Times he knew where “holes” were in the roster and wasn’t sweating a quick fix when Stroud asked him […]