Media Day And Unethical HookersJanuary 27th, 2014
Yes, Joe’s been in frigid New Jersey today hanging out with NFL movers and shakers and preparing for Super Bowl Media Day in Newark tomorrow.
Joe likes to attend Media Day and Super Bowl happenings. In addition to lots of beautiful TV babes everywhere and unique access to players, Joe can gather all kinds of information from various media and NFL types on Bucs topics and personalities. It’s a great education.
Every Super Bowl city is different, and today Joe learned North Jersey will stand out for its unique, um, hospitality.
Joe sought an early breakfast at Heritage Diner in the business/court district of Hackensack, four or five miles from the site of the Super Bowl, a neighborhood that sort of makes Pinellas Park look like Palm Beach — though you couldn’t find a decent apartment around these parts of burned out Jersey for less than $1,200 a month.
Anyway, the diner is truly a throwback, a place where the waitress pours your coffee while she greets you because, well, who doesn’t drink coffee. Joe got excellent service from his waitress, who without being asked or prompted advised Joe she was Italian. And after a while, like any classic Jersey diner waitress (or Flo from Mel’s diner), she jumped into Joe’s conversation and redirected it.
The waitress checked in at about 5-6, 220 pounds, and had a strong, friendly personality. So Joe was paying attention.
She started talking about price gouging related to the Super Bowl and wondered aloud whether there would be inflated rates at a crack- and hooker-infested motel nearby. That’s the place where she meets her real boyfriend for “three-hour dates” because it wouldn’t be Christian of her to have sex at home because she has a son.
“You understand?” she asked Joe.
“Of course,” Joe said. “You don’t want that action around with a kid at home.”
“No, he’s grown up and out of the house,” she replied.
“Ok,” said Joe, thinking this is going to get good.
Well, the waitress went on to speculate that the nearby crack/hooker motels on the “sin strip” would probably bump their rates to about $400 a night during Super Bowl week. Joe, familiar with the skank joints in the area from his high school days, strongly disagreed.
After a little friendly debate, the waitress then rolled into how patrons will really have to be careful at those nasty hotels. She relayed a story about how during her last date there an apparent hooker with no shoes knocked on her room door seeking help. The woman asked the waitress and her boyfriend to help her get her shoes back from her last client’s room because he wouldn’t return them.
Feeling sorry for the apparent victim and wanting to be righteous, the boyfriend “knocked on the John’s door” pretending to motel staff and asked for the shoes to be returned. The John wouldn’t cooperate and claimed the alleged prostitute took his payment for services she never provided.
The waitress and the boyfriend then interrogated the alleged prostitute about this detail, and she proceeded to confess to just taking the money and never planning to provide sex.
As Joe’s food got cold, the waitress closed the story by sharing her disbelief of the violation of prostitute-client ethics and her worry that Super Bowl visitors might be ripped off the same way and the area would get a bad name.
Only in Jersey.
Joe left a good tip and headed to Manhattan to pick up his media credentials.
Joe will have plenty of Bucs-related football chatter tomorrow.